Comparisons

Blog post #249 of 365

Comparisons have a place in this world. We can tell who won the race, who lost the most weight, who grew and who didn't. These all seem pretty benign and they are. The problem arises when you try to compare things that never should be. Like your kids.

I have five kids and four grandkids and they are all very unique. It is easy for me to compare the grandkids to their fathers but I don't think it is right to compare them with each other. They are not the same. Some are older and some are younger and they have different parents raising them. I don't like comparing my kids. It never leads anywhere good.

I remember a few times when my three of my kids were in the hospital. One had asthma, and two birth defects that resulted in short hospital stays. I would look around and feel so grateful my kid only had what they did and not the scary thing the other kids had. I found out the other parents felt exactly the same as I did.

Recently a friend was trying to console another friend who was sad about the loss of her job. She was comparing her to a different unemployed friend. She said, "Don't be sad you have marketable skills and you know there are people who are worse off than you." I thought it was kind of mean. I told her to be as sad as she wanted to be. Comparing her situation to some other unfortunate person solves nothing and doesn't let her own her feelings. She was close to retirement and has to start from square one because a corporation purchased her place of employment and laid off most of the people who worked there. She has as much right to be sad as anyone else in her situation. Heck I'm sad for her too! Telling someone not to be sad is as bad as telling someone not to be happy because someone might have more to be happy about. It just doesn't make sense.

Just try not to make comparisons about people. You never know how deep you may be cutting.