Blog post # 105 of 365
I love the rain. The look of it as it strikes the ground, the car, the window, etc. I love the smell of the dirt being washed away during the rain and the fresh clean smell when it is done. I love how the grass seems to grow much more quickly. I love the sound of the rain as it hits the roof. I love the feel of it on my skin as I run to my car or to the house. Yup I love rain and I wish it would!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Clean Slate
Blog post # 104 of 365
My great niece is visiting while she recovers from surgery. She is a little bored without brothers to fight with, classmates to study with and a sister to share her girly moments.
I have been doing my best to get her into some good habits like clean hands, clean teeth, brushed hair, being polite, taking turns, sharing, regular bath/showers, putting things back where they belong, following rules, listening, paying attention, good eating habits (read addition of lots of veggies) and more.
She was reading and studying until the novelty wore off. She is wanting do do nothing but play. There has to be a mix of work and play. "Aunt Cherie you're boring." It makes me laugh. I take as many teachable moments as I can. She is a wasteful little girl. Asking for much and consuming little unless it is candy or goodies. I put limits on those. A different niece came over with candy after candy and she just didn't listen to no. So now I physically put limits on her.
This morning she watched the rodeo with her great Gramie. Then they watched a movie. Goods experience for both of them. Kyle and I needed to have some we time before he heads back to school. (Note to reader; I am writing ahead so I can keep up without a laptop.)
My son played video games with her today. She was in heaven. So easy to give her joy. Oh and he was in heaven too. They played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the Wii. I peeked. So cute.
Every day she wants to play with sidewalk chalk on the driveway and every night I clean it off. It gives her a clean slate for the next day's drawing. Can I just say how nice it is that for all of us every day we get a clean slate? A new beginning. As we progress through the week she is getting better at following rules and whatnot and Gramie Kyle & I are getting better at enjoying the little moments. This is a good experience for all of us. I think by the time the two weeks are over we should have the routine down perfect and then it'll be time for her to go home. I'll be sad but ever so grateful for the time we have had together.
My great niece is visiting while she recovers from surgery. She is a little bored without brothers to fight with, classmates to study with and a sister to share her girly moments.
I have been doing my best to get her into some good habits like clean hands, clean teeth, brushed hair, being polite, taking turns, sharing, regular bath/showers, putting things back where they belong, following rules, listening, paying attention, good eating habits (read addition of lots of veggies) and more.
She was reading and studying until the novelty wore off. She is wanting do do nothing but play. There has to be a mix of work and play. "Aunt Cherie you're boring." It makes me laugh. I take as many teachable moments as I can. She is a wasteful little girl. Asking for much and consuming little unless it is candy or goodies. I put limits on those. A different niece came over with candy after candy and she just didn't listen to no. So now I physically put limits on her.
This morning she watched the rodeo with her great Gramie. Then they watched a movie. Goods experience for both of them. Kyle and I needed to have some we time before he heads back to school. (Note to reader; I am writing ahead so I can keep up without a laptop.)
My son played video games with her today. She was in heaven. So easy to give her joy. Oh and he was in heaven too. They played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the Wii. I peeked. So cute.
Every day she wants to play with sidewalk chalk on the driveway and every night I clean it off. It gives her a clean slate for the next day's drawing. Can I just say how nice it is that for all of us every day we get a clean slate? A new beginning. As we progress through the week she is getting better at following rules and whatnot and Gramie Kyle & I are getting better at enjoying the little moments. This is a good experience for all of us. I think by the time the two weeks are over we should have the routine down perfect and then it'll be time for her to go home. I'll be sad but ever so grateful for the time we have had together.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
School
Blog post # 103 of 365
My oldest son went to school to become an EMT and is beginning nursing school. My second son earned an associates in aviation sciences. My third son is finishing his last semester for an associates in aviation sciences as well. My oldest daughter is considering her options for an online education possibly in early childhood education. My youngest is in her second semester, is so far undeclared but I think she is leaning toward a degree in nutrition. I have a bachelors of science in special education.
I believe in getting educated. Learning is important but I also have lost faith in the system.
How can the government sanction people on welfare into certificate programs they can pursue a career in? Like people going to school to become a pharmacy tech who have been arrested for drugs? Or those allowed to enroll dental technician school in an area flooded with graduates from two schools in the same city? Talk about a waste of money and time. Welfare has limits. Free money until you have been getting it for X number of years then go to school or look for a job. Then we help you with daycare and whatnot until you hit just over what you're getting on welfare then they cut off the food stamps and daycare. These people can't afford to pay daycare but they are out of luck and off the dole. Really how do normal people expect them not to find a loophole or two and abuse the system? I'm not saying pay them forever just be realistic.
How is it nothing is uniform? Schools across the nation are not equal in any way. Graduation requirements are different. The level of education is so varied that people at the top of their class in some states can't come close to those in the bottom of other states. States are unified but vastly independent. But when it comes to education I believe there should be some kind of basic minimums.
How is it that institutions can call themselves a school or a college but only offer a certificate that is pretty much useless? How is it that an education from one state isn't good enough in another? There should be some national accreditation for all schools. From elementary to post graduate school. No school should be able to use government funding (read Federal Pell Grants and student loans) for a certificate program that will not translate to a real job/career.
There was a time when colleges and universities had professors. Full time teachers of higher education. Now there are mostly adjuncts and part time retirees from other professions. Why? Because schools are trying to cut overhead. Full time teachers earn benefits and retirement.
There was a time when students could enroll in school and get into classes. Today students are lucky to get any classes. Student's today usually have to waste time (anywhere from a semester to a year) and money in classes they don't need so they can move up in enrollment priority. Classes don't transfer from university to university. There just isn't any consistency anywhere.
I'd just like to see the system fixed. I'd like to see it make sense. I'd like to see less waste and more productivity.
And now for the final blow of this post, this week my son starts classes. My computer broken so I'll be without a laptop. School is a mixed bag for me.
My oldest son went to school to become an EMT and is beginning nursing school. My second son earned an associates in aviation sciences. My third son is finishing his last semester for an associates in aviation sciences as well. My oldest daughter is considering her options for an online education possibly in early childhood education. My youngest is in her second semester, is so far undeclared but I think she is leaning toward a degree in nutrition. I have a bachelors of science in special education.
I believe in getting educated. Learning is important but I also have lost faith in the system.
How can the government sanction people on welfare into certificate programs they can pursue a career in? Like people going to school to become a pharmacy tech who have been arrested for drugs? Or those allowed to enroll dental technician school in an area flooded with graduates from two schools in the same city? Talk about a waste of money and time. Welfare has limits. Free money until you have been getting it for X number of years then go to school or look for a job. Then we help you with daycare and whatnot until you hit just over what you're getting on welfare then they cut off the food stamps and daycare. These people can't afford to pay daycare but they are out of luck and off the dole. Really how do normal people expect them not to find a loophole or two and abuse the system? I'm not saying pay them forever just be realistic.
How is it nothing is uniform? Schools across the nation are not equal in any way. Graduation requirements are different. The level of education is so varied that people at the top of their class in some states can't come close to those in the bottom of other states. States are unified but vastly independent. But when it comes to education I believe there should be some kind of basic minimums.
How is it that institutions can call themselves a school or a college but only offer a certificate that is pretty much useless? How is it that an education from one state isn't good enough in another? There should be some national accreditation for all schools. From elementary to post graduate school. No school should be able to use government funding (read Federal Pell Grants and student loans) for a certificate program that will not translate to a real job/career.
There was a time when colleges and universities had professors. Full time teachers of higher education. Now there are mostly adjuncts and part time retirees from other professions. Why? Because schools are trying to cut overhead. Full time teachers earn benefits and retirement.
There was a time when students could enroll in school and get into classes. Today students are lucky to get any classes. Student's today usually have to waste time (anywhere from a semester to a year) and money in classes they don't need so they can move up in enrollment priority. Classes don't transfer from university to university. There just isn't any consistency anywhere.
I'd just like to see the system fixed. I'd like to see it make sense. I'd like to see less waste and more productivity.
And now for the final blow of this post, this week my son starts classes. My computer broken so I'll be without a laptop. School is a mixed bag for me.
Monday, February 25, 2013
A Journey
Blog post #102 of 365
"Life is a journey not a destination." Is your life a journey? Or do you treat it like a destination?
When I grow up ______? When I graduate______? When I finish school ______? When my hair grows out ______? When summer hits ________? When it cools down _______? When I get the job ______? When I get the promotion______? When I get married _________? When I have kids _________? When my kids grow up _________? When I have grandkids ______? When I retire_____? When, when when...
I remember thinking a few of those very same whens through the years. Especially that first one. Then again do we ever really fully grow up?
These moments of time when we find ourselves rushing through the things happen in our lives can become a habit. We are humans and humans are creatures of habit. Sometimes we disguise the rushing and wishing as goals. There is nothing wrong with making goals. I make goals all of the time. Both short term and long term goals. Goals help us keep focus. The best part of any goal is achieving the goal. It can be very rewarding but not at the expense of forgetting to enjoying your life and the people in it.
Goals can sometimes be called a destination. I believe there are many destinations throughout the journey of life. Sometimes we label the destinations. Like graduate, wife/husband, mother/father etc and there is nothing wrong with labels. Labels help keep us organized. The idea is to not let the label define you. To be the best at whatever we are doing when we are doing it. Avoid going through the motions,without putting in any real effort.
Sometimes it is good to take a side trip, pause a little, go the long way, or take the scenic route. As long as you remember to breathe and take in the atmosphere. Rushing has its place but meandering does too. When was the last time you Googled your city to find an adventure in your own back yard? Or have you ever taken in the local tourist sites. Come on and give it a try. How about the library? A museum? The parks? Historical sites? Where is your town hall? How about a zoo? You are never too old or too young for a little adventure.
When I pass from this life to the next I don't want to be remembered so much as loved and cared for. I figure if I am loved and cared for I will have arrived and I will be remembered.
Okay in a nutshell it won't matter how many years you lived but it will matter how much life was in those years.
"Life is a journey not a destination." Is your life a journey? Or do you treat it like a destination?
When I grow up ______? When I graduate______? When I finish school ______? When my hair grows out ______? When summer hits ________? When it cools down _______? When I get the job ______? When I get the promotion______? When I get married _________? When I have kids _________? When my kids grow up _________? When I have grandkids ______? When I retire_____? When, when when...
I remember thinking a few of those very same whens through the years. Especially that first one. Then again do we ever really fully grow up?
These moments of time when we find ourselves rushing through the things happen in our lives can become a habit. We are humans and humans are creatures of habit. Sometimes we disguise the rushing and wishing as goals. There is nothing wrong with making goals. I make goals all of the time. Both short term and long term goals. Goals help us keep focus. The best part of any goal is achieving the goal. It can be very rewarding but not at the expense of forgetting to enjoying your life and the people in it.
Goals can sometimes be called a destination. I believe there are many destinations throughout the journey of life. Sometimes we label the destinations. Like graduate, wife/husband, mother/father etc and there is nothing wrong with labels. Labels help keep us organized. The idea is to not let the label define you. To be the best at whatever we are doing when we are doing it. Avoid going through the motions,without putting in any real effort.
Sometimes it is good to take a side trip, pause a little, go the long way, or take the scenic route. As long as you remember to breathe and take in the atmosphere. Rushing has its place but meandering does too. When was the last time you Googled your city to find an adventure in your own back yard? Or have you ever taken in the local tourist sites. Come on and give it a try. How about the library? A museum? The parks? Historical sites? Where is your town hall? How about a zoo? You are never too old or too young for a little adventure.
When I pass from this life to the next I don't want to be remembered so much as loved and cared for. I figure if I am loved and cared for I will have arrived and I will be remembered.
Okay in a nutshell it won't matter how many years you lived but it will matter how much life was in those years.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Service
Blog post #101 out of 365
I am a firm believer in service. I have done volunteer work for as long as I can remember. Every now and then I receive a little service.
Friday afternoon four missionaries came to help me fix my carport roof.
When they arrived the noticed the yard needed work too. They pulled out small trees.
Tugged on stumps.
And Tug some more.
Mowed down a few weeds.
Actually removed the killer stump.
Put tools away.
And after all that work they posed for a goodbye shot. Gotta love service even when it is for yourself.
Now this is where I encourage you to pitch in anywhere you can any way you can. This is also where I remind you to let others do for you. It is impossible for anyone to do service if nobody accepts the help. It is the little things like this we need to keep sight of. Thank you for taking a moment to read this little post. Trust me it is tiny without the visual aids. Have a nice day.
I am a firm believer in service. I have done volunteer work for as long as I can remember. Every now and then I receive a little service.
Friday afternoon four missionaries came to help me fix my carport roof.
And worked on the roof.
And after all that work they posed for a goodbye shot. Gotta love service even when it is for yourself.
Now this is where I encourage you to pitch in anywhere you can any way you can. This is also where I remind you to let others do for you. It is impossible for anyone to do service if nobody accepts the help. It is the little things like this we need to keep sight of. Thank you for taking a moment to read this little post. Trust me it is tiny without the visual aids. Have a nice day.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Busy
Blog post #100 of 365
I'm busy.
Busy is neither good nor bad.
I like being busy.
Today I assisted in fixing a broken faucet, made oatmeal with apples, taught my great niece to paint with water colors, helped her get cleaned up (washed her hair), helped her make a beaded necklace and bracelet, helped her figure out the Wii fit kids, uploaded two videos so my sister can see her grandkids, returned messages to two friends, got caught up on my blog (admittedly I was behind by two), made peanut butter and banana sandwiches for four people, edited chapter four and part of chapter two, helped my great niece with her writing assignment, pulled down the sidewalk chalk and took photographs of her drawing in the driveway, made shredded pork with sauce over smashed seasoned potatoes & veggies, set up great niece on Wii again, washed dishes, fed the dogs, washed off the driveway so we can draw pictures again watched Survivor and CSI, finished a letter, made a thank you call and shortly I'll be doing a workout, helping my great niece get ready for bed and soon after that going to bed myself.
Now did I accomplish much? I don't know but I know the food was appreciated by both humans and dogs. I know my great niece appreciates the different activities, I know Geoff appreciates the editing, I know I feel better after a workout, I know I enjoy having the dishes done as well. I feel loved and appreciated. You can really beat that!
I'm busy.
Busy is neither good nor bad.
I like being busy.
Today I assisted in fixing a broken faucet, made oatmeal with apples, taught my great niece to paint with water colors, helped her get cleaned up (washed her hair), helped her make a beaded necklace and bracelet, helped her figure out the Wii fit kids, uploaded two videos so my sister can see her grandkids, returned messages to two friends, got caught up on my blog (admittedly I was behind by two), made peanut butter and banana sandwiches for four people, edited chapter four and part of chapter two, helped my great niece with her writing assignment, pulled down the sidewalk chalk and took photographs of her drawing in the driveway, made shredded pork with sauce over smashed seasoned potatoes & veggies, set up great niece on Wii again, washed dishes, fed the dogs, washed off the driveway so we can draw pictures again watched Survivor and CSI, finished a letter, made a thank you call and shortly I'll be doing a workout, helping my great niece get ready for bed and soon after that going to bed myself.
Now did I accomplish much? I don't know but I know the food was appreciated by both humans and dogs. I know my great niece appreciates the different activities, I know Geoff appreciates the editing, I know I feel better after a workout, I know I enjoy having the dishes done as well. I feel loved and appreciated. You can really beat that!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Bandage Off
Blog post #99 of 365
Wednesday night my little house guest had a tummy ache. She tossed and turned through most of the night. By Thursday morning her bandage was a little loose and the exposed part of her face was a bit swollen. I had plans with a friend and asked her if she wanted to stay home with her cousin and grandma. She decided she was feeling better and wanted to go with me to do some volunteer work. This is one strong brave little person. When we got home I called the surgeon just to make sure everything was okay. He said to come in first thing Friday morning.
Friday when we went it her face looked perfectly normal. No puffiness or redness.
Doctor Kim took off her bandage and she looks great!
We dropped her mommy off at home and got a few more clothes to wear. Short sleeves for the seventy degree weather.
So what do you think? She looks good to me.
Wednesday night my little house guest had a tummy ache. She tossed and turned through most of the night. By Thursday morning her bandage was a little loose and the exposed part of her face was a bit swollen. I had plans with a friend and asked her if she wanted to stay home with her cousin and grandma. She decided she was feeling better and wanted to go with me to do some volunteer work. This is one strong brave little person. When we got home I called the surgeon just to make sure everything was okay. He said to come in first thing Friday morning.
Friday when we went it her face looked perfectly normal. No puffiness or redness.
Doctor Kim took off her bandage and she looks great!
We dropped her mommy off at home and got a few more clothes to wear. Short sleeves for the seventy degree weather.
And picked up a project to entertain her on the way home.
So what do you think? She looks good to me.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Love and Valentine's Day
Blog post # 98 of 365
The word love is deceptive. I mean in the English language love covers way too much. I love the sunrise. I love avocado trees. I love my grandparents. I love my children. I love my grandchildren. I love my car. I love that my car works. I love the Lord. I love to read. I love Disneyland and the Zoo. All of those loves are different kinds of love. Love of things is different than love of people. Love of certain people like a spouse is different than the love of a friend or neighbor. It just is! How do you explain that one word can cover so very many kinds of love?
I know I am loved. I have no doubts about it.
Valentine's day has little if anything to do with love. For some it brings out the worst. Sometimes it could be jealousy or sadness even anger for some. I have seen this quote over and over. "If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's day, just remember nobody loves you any other day of the year either." Did anybody bother to read it and seen the meanness behind this quote before posting? Being single doesn't mean someone doesn't love you. Being married doesn't always mean someone loves you either. The fact is everyone is loved by somebody even if they are never aware of it.
For others Valentine's day brings out the best. Giving, volunteering, going the extra mile, being kind, being thoughtful.
My daughter in law gave me the best Valentine today. She texted me a photo of my grandson. What a thoughtful thing to do.
I believe Valentine's day should be about about showing love. Love is about giving. Giving of or from your heart. Giving yourself to someone rather than yourself. To me that is love. Not a box of chocolate, flowers that will die in a week and dinner at a crowded restaurant. Nope if you want to show me you love me do something, make something or clean something. It is as simple as that!
The word love is deceptive. I mean in the English language love covers way too much. I love the sunrise. I love avocado trees. I love my grandparents. I love my children. I love my grandchildren. I love my car. I love that my car works. I love the Lord. I love to read. I love Disneyland and the Zoo. All of those loves are different kinds of love. Love of things is different than love of people. Love of certain people like a spouse is different than the love of a friend or neighbor. It just is! How do you explain that one word can cover so very many kinds of love?
I know I am loved. I have no doubts about it.
Valentine's day has little if anything to do with love. For some it brings out the worst. Sometimes it could be jealousy or sadness even anger for some. I have seen this quote over and over. "If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's day, just remember nobody loves you any other day of the year either." Did anybody bother to read it and seen the meanness behind this quote before posting? Being single doesn't mean someone doesn't love you. Being married doesn't always mean someone loves you either. The fact is everyone is loved by somebody even if they are never aware of it.
For others Valentine's day brings out the best. Giving, volunteering, going the extra mile, being kind, being thoughtful.
My daughter in law gave me the best Valentine today. She texted me a photo of my grandson. What a thoughtful thing to do.
I believe Valentine's day should be about about showing love. Love is about giving. Giving of or from your heart. Giving yourself to someone rather than yourself. To me that is love. Not a box of chocolate, flowers that will die in a week and dinner at a crowded restaurant. Nope if you want to show me you love me do something, make something or clean something. It is as simple as that!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Day After Surgery
Blog post #97 of 365
Yesterday was filled with a heavily medicated seven year old and her mom and unnecessary errands.
Today was filled with a bored not nearly and medicated seven year old who wants to have 100% attention 100% of the time. I think we averaged attention 90% of the time. We did a lot of homework. Science and math mostly.We played video games, had a Barbie fashion show, read books, watched a movie and talked a bunch. I love this kid! Now if I could just get her to understand she needs to rest more and keep free of anything that can cause infection by any and all means we'd be styling!
Yesterday was filled with a heavily medicated seven year old and her mom and unnecessary errands.
Today was filled with a bored not nearly and medicated seven year old who wants to have 100% attention 100% of the time. I think we averaged attention 90% of the time. We did a lot of homework. Science and math mostly.We played video games, had a Barbie fashion show, read books, watched a movie and talked a bunch. I love this kid! Now if I could just get her to understand she needs to rest more and keep free of anything that can cause infection by any and all means we'd be styling!
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Reconstruction
Blog post #96 of 365
Today I spent the day with my awesome great niece. She is seven and two years ago was bitten by a dog. Lets just say the road to healing has been long.
First day she had emergency surgery. About a 18 months ago she had reconstructive surgery. Today Dr. Kim went back one more time to lessen the redness, thin out the scar and reshape her face. She is the bravest little human. I am grateful the Lord has been so kind. Yup I think the Lord has had a hand in her recovery. I wish it had never happened but I am glad she has been able to have good people on her side.
Today I spent the day with my awesome great niece. She is seven and two years ago was bitten by a dog. Lets just say the road to healing has been long.
First day she had emergency surgery. About a 18 months ago she had reconstructive surgery. Today Dr. Kim went back one more time to lessen the redness, thin out the scar and reshape her face. She is the bravest little human. I am grateful the Lord has been so kind. Yup I think the Lord has had a hand in her recovery. I wish it had never happened but I am glad she has been able to have good people on her side.
Pre-surgery Harmony learned about heart monitors.
Anesthesiologist
One of many great nurses.
Dr. Kim after a littl pre-surgery medication
OR nurse
Even her bunny got a bandage.
Pain medication makes everything better.
Before surgery she was nervous but oh so brave. After surgery she has been even more brave and strong. I love this little inspiration!
Monday, February 18, 2013
Talking
Blog post #95 of 365
In our family we can talk. Once you get us started we just don't stop. All of us can talk a blue streak. My kids get embarrassed by how easily I can talk to a total stranger. They may not realize it but they can too.
By everyone I mean everyone. Both of my parents and both of their parents. All of my siblings and all of our children. There are signs pointing to all of their children being talkers too. Oddly enough all four of my half siblings are talkers as well.
Sometimes being a talker is blessing. I can usually talk my way into or out of anything. But sometimes it is a curse. Just think time management.
I was shy. didn't talk to anyone I didn't know. I don't remember when it changed but it did.
I'm good with public speaking. I can lead a group. I taught and loved that spotlight for the teaching moments and loved the feedback and proof they were listening through grades and whatnot.
Words can be hurtful though. I mean really bad. So here is the key. Think before you speak. Is it truthful? Is it honest? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? (That one in a conversation can be optional.) Is it kind? If it falls under one of those categories talk away.
The other thing to remember is listening is the other half of talking. If while in conversation you aren't listening but are instead trying to formulate a response or worse a defense then you are failing as a good speaker.
Knowing your audience is also important. I can talk to strangers but When speaking to a group, teaching, or public speaking it is important to know who you are speaking to and avoid offending people.
Talking is good so keep it up but don't forget silence is golden. At times priceless beyond measure. Sometimes you just have to let it rest.
In our family we can talk. Once you get us started we just don't stop. All of us can talk a blue streak. My kids get embarrassed by how easily I can talk to a total stranger. They may not realize it but they can too.
By everyone I mean everyone. Both of my parents and both of their parents. All of my siblings and all of our children. There are signs pointing to all of their children being talkers too. Oddly enough all four of my half siblings are talkers as well.
Sometimes being a talker is blessing. I can usually talk my way into or out of anything. But sometimes it is a curse. Just think time management.
I was shy. didn't talk to anyone I didn't know. I don't remember when it changed but it did.
I'm good with public speaking. I can lead a group. I taught and loved that spotlight for the teaching moments and loved the feedback and proof they were listening through grades and whatnot.
Words can be hurtful though. I mean really bad. So here is the key. Think before you speak. Is it truthful? Is it honest? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? (That one in a conversation can be optional.) Is it kind? If it falls under one of those categories talk away.
The other thing to remember is listening is the other half of talking. If while in conversation you aren't listening but are instead trying to formulate a response or worse a defense then you are failing as a good speaker.
Knowing your audience is also important. I can talk to strangers but When speaking to a group, teaching, or public speaking it is important to know who you are speaking to and avoid offending people.
Talking is good so keep it up but don't forget silence is golden. At times priceless beyond measure. Sometimes you just have to let it rest.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Friendship
Real friends don't walk out when things get tough. The real ones hold your hand through break ups, loss, suffering. They clean you up when you need it and feed your soul too. They stand their ground. Real friends help you celebrate. They stand their ground and love you no matter what is going on around you. Real friends don't show up when things are good and depart when things aren't that great.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Rhyme Or Reason
Blog post # 93 of 365
If by chance you decide to read through my blog posts you will notice there really isn't any rhyme or reason as to topics, ideas or views. This blog is just some of my thoughts and ideas for no specific purpose. I do hope some entertain. I hope some make you think. I am okay if some make you mad. Read or not it makes no difference.
If by chance you decide to read through my blog posts you will notice there really isn't any rhyme or reason as to topics, ideas or views. This blog is just some of my thoughts and ideas for no specific purpose. I do hope some entertain. I hope some make you think. I am okay if some make you mad. Read or not it makes no difference.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Blame
Blog post #92 of 365
When something goes wrong or things don't work out we want someone or something to blame. We lay blame, sometimes undeservedly even. It is what humans do. I think maybe it is a part of self preservation.
The thing is we can't always find the culprit. Sometimes because the trail is too long but sometimes because the finger points at us and it is hard to admit failure. It is hard to admit defeat. It is hard but not impossible.
The trick is to pick up move on and learn from it. Don't repeat our failures. Don't dwell on or in the past. It does no one any good.
I always ask myself what I could have done differently? I examine my role even if it was only a reaction to something completely out of my control how I might have done better and in turn how my doing better might have helped the situation. It doesn't always work but it may help in the future. Every day I ask myself how can I be better? How can I do better?
I have no idea who said it but I love the saying, 'God only gives you what you can handle." Recently I heard this slightly different take on it, "God doesn't give you what you can handle, God helps you handle what you are given." I have mixed feelings on this one. I do believe some of what we must handle isn't our own doing but also because of the agency of others. I also believe God will help us but we must do all we can first and we must also ask for help. I'm pretty sure the Lord does not overburdens us on purpose or without a purpose.
Today I read this quote and it stuck in my head a bit. "Everything you do is based on choices you make. Its not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and every choice you make." Unknown
Next time think before you choose, think before you act and more importantly think before you blame,
When something goes wrong or things don't work out we want someone or something to blame. We lay blame, sometimes undeservedly even. It is what humans do. I think maybe it is a part of self preservation.
The thing is we can't always find the culprit. Sometimes because the trail is too long but sometimes because the finger points at us and it is hard to admit failure. It is hard to admit defeat. It is hard but not impossible.
The trick is to pick up move on and learn from it. Don't repeat our failures. Don't dwell on or in the past. It does no one any good.
I always ask myself what I could have done differently? I examine my role even if it was only a reaction to something completely out of my control how I might have done better and in turn how my doing better might have helped the situation. It doesn't always work but it may help in the future. Every day I ask myself how can I be better? How can I do better?
I have no idea who said it but I love the saying, 'God only gives you what you can handle." Recently I heard this slightly different take on it, "God doesn't give you what you can handle, God helps you handle what you are given." I have mixed feelings on this one. I do believe some of what we must handle isn't our own doing but also because of the agency of others. I also believe God will help us but we must do all we can first and we must also ask for help. I'm pretty sure the Lord does not overburdens us on purpose or without a purpose.
Today I read this quote and it stuck in my head a bit. "Everything you do is based on choices you make. Its not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and every choice you make." Unknown
Next time think before you choose, think before you act and more importantly think before you blame,
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Raising Children
Blog post #91 of 365
Recently I heard someone say there is no right or wrong way to raise children. Oh my goodness they must be kidding themselves. There are a lot of right and wrong ways to raise children. The mistake for most is believing their way is the "only" way.
I believe there are many kinds of families and many kinds of kids within the family.
I gave birth to five children. I have had a hand in raising many more in one way or another. I love everyone of them. Each one had their own quirks and intricacies. They each had their own challenges and talents. Each one is a unique individual. How can you parent them all the same way? I had to figure it out as I went along. I made huge mistakes. I was flawed as a parent but I did the best I could at the time with the information I had. A fairly new friend Kerry recently said, "It is sometimes hard to teach while I still have so much to learn." Wiser words were never spoken.
There are no instructions for new parents. There are books and tons of advice. We watched our parents parent us. We try to do better. Hopefully we accomplish that. I know I did. The best advice I can give is to have a plan and stick to it. Staying consistent. Your kids need to know what to expect. They need to know what their boundaries are and what you expect of them. Don't second guess yourself but also be willing to change when you see yourself failing in one way or another. Pay attention to them and to what you're doing as the parent. Know where they are and who they are with. Learn to guide them and not to push. Pushing turns into a shoving match and there is no winner in a shoving match. Parent with love and not with friendship. You're going to make mistakes. Be aware of it and when it happens deal with it because it will happen.
Being a grandparent is so much fun but also very difficult. Standing on the sidelines, watching the dynamics of who your child is and how they develop as a parent. Then adding in their spouse. The person they chose to share their life with and not knowing how they will parent. I hope my children learn from my mistakes and do so much better. I hope their spouses do the same. I hope they understand I have always only wanted what was best for them and now for their children too. I hope they know how much I love them. Although I doubt they will every really fathom how much I love them. Maybe they will after they have their own kids.
Recently I heard someone say there is no right or wrong way to raise children. Oh my goodness they must be kidding themselves. There are a lot of right and wrong ways to raise children. The mistake for most is believing their way is the "only" way.
I believe there are many kinds of families and many kinds of kids within the family.
I gave birth to five children. I have had a hand in raising many more in one way or another. I love everyone of them. Each one had their own quirks and intricacies. They each had their own challenges and talents. Each one is a unique individual. How can you parent them all the same way? I had to figure it out as I went along. I made huge mistakes. I was flawed as a parent but I did the best I could at the time with the information I had. A fairly new friend Kerry recently said, "It is sometimes hard to teach while I still have so much to learn." Wiser words were never spoken.
There are no instructions for new parents. There are books and tons of advice. We watched our parents parent us. We try to do better. Hopefully we accomplish that. I know I did. The best advice I can give is to have a plan and stick to it. Staying consistent. Your kids need to know what to expect. They need to know what their boundaries are and what you expect of them. Don't second guess yourself but also be willing to change when you see yourself failing in one way or another. Pay attention to them and to what you're doing as the parent. Know where they are and who they are with. Learn to guide them and not to push. Pushing turns into a shoving match and there is no winner in a shoving match. Parent with love and not with friendship. You're going to make mistakes. Be aware of it and when it happens deal with it because it will happen.
Being a grandparent is so much fun but also very difficult. Standing on the sidelines, watching the dynamics of who your child is and how they develop as a parent. Then adding in their spouse. The person they chose to share their life with and not knowing how they will parent. I hope my children learn from my mistakes and do so much better. I hope their spouses do the same. I hope they understand I have always only wanted what was best for them and now for their children too. I hope they know how much I love them. Although I doubt they will every really fathom how much I love them. Maybe they will after they have their own kids.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
I Am More Than My Roles
Blog post #90 of the 365
Who am I?
I have put a lot of thought into that question. I am more than the roles I have had in my life.
I have been a daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin, student, friend, employee, companion, wife, mother, grandmother, teacher, and so much more. I have been the used, the abused, the user, the victim, the injured, the victor, the winner, the loser, and so much more. I have been the babysitter, the housekeeper, the bookkeeper, the organizer, the electrician, the carpenter, the plumber, the gardener, the landscaper, the planner, the baker, the cook, the laundress, the chauffeur, the tutor, and so much more.
All of these roles are a part of who I am but they are not who I am. They do not define me.
I am courageous, contemplative, fearful, faithful, loving, possessive, protective, open minded, opinionated, stubborn, giving, hard headed, sweet, loyal, loving, intelligent, smart, funny, sarcastic, silly, bossy, bright, brave, ornery, tired, energetic, willing, tentative, and oh so much more.
In short I am human.
Who am I?
I have put a lot of thought into that question. I am more than the roles I have had in my life.
I have been a daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin, student, friend, employee, companion, wife, mother, grandmother, teacher, and so much more. I have been the used, the abused, the user, the victim, the injured, the victor, the winner, the loser, and so much more. I have been the babysitter, the housekeeper, the bookkeeper, the organizer, the electrician, the carpenter, the plumber, the gardener, the landscaper, the planner, the baker, the cook, the laundress, the chauffeur, the tutor, and so much more.
All of these roles are a part of who I am but they are not who I am. They do not define me.
I am courageous, contemplative, fearful, faithful, loving, possessive, protective, open minded, opinionated, stubborn, giving, hard headed, sweet, loyal, loving, intelligent, smart, funny, sarcastic, silly, bossy, bright, brave, ornery, tired, energetic, willing, tentative, and oh so much more.
In short I am human.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
You Do What You Have to Do
Blog post #89 of 365
My grandparents had a very weird start. Both born the 1900 they were bound by traditions that are luckily obsolete. Women were expected to marry and have a man take care of them. The oldest boy always inherits and the following boys are left to make their way in the world. Both had kind of crappy starts.
My grandmother was born in Alberta, Canada and her family moved to the states. On a trip while my grandmother was driving another car broadsided their car and her father was killed. She blamed herself and became sort of a recluse. She ate for comfort and unfortunately never really dated.
My grandfather was the second male child and after his brother blew his schooling money he decided to return to run the family farm. My grandfather fell hopelessly in love with a local girl who would not leave her mother and since they lived in a small farming community there was nothing for my grandfather to do but to find his fortune elsewhere. He eventually made his way to Los Angeles where he found steady work.
Both of my grandparents were encouraged to marry. They were both 30. Old singles for 1930. Their bishop actually told them they needed to find a mate. He laid out my grandfather's options for single ladies. Very few to choose from. They courted for a very short while and then they married. As far as I could tell no love story. Very sad really.
My grandmother soon became pregnant with my father a healthy boy. A few years later they had my uncle. He wasn't expected to live through the night. He had Down Syndrome. He couldn't swallow.
His doctor said death was a 'certainty' and they were encouraged to let him go. Send him to a home to live out his days. My grandmother was a stubborn lady. She spoon fed him and rubbed his throat until the liquid went down. My uncle learned to swallow. My uncle to dress himself, to speak a few simple words and several other mostly survival things. The boy who wasn't expected to make it, did.
My grandparents spoiled the normal son with things and freedom. They spent most of their time and energy on the special needs child. This was a big mistake. My grandfather was continually bailing his first child out of one mess or another.
My grandmother blamed herself for her father's death. Blamed herself for a loveless marriage. Blamed herself for a handicapped son. Blamed her husband for an out of control normal child because she was busy with the son who 'needed' her. Maybe in a way it was her fault. She had her first child later in life and the chance of having a disabled child increases as the mother ages. But really there was nothing she could have done to prevented it. It wasn't really her fault. Maybe God was giving her something else to focus on. Something besides her father.
She tried. He tried. Everyone suffered.
When my grandmother died at 69 years old my grandfather found out just how much my grandmother had done for my uncle. He couldn't handle taking care of him alone. My grandmother did most of everything herself. She was tough. And probably tougher still because she always blamed herself. For everything. Thinking she was somehow the cause him to be born that way. Maybe as some penance for 'killing' her father. She did everything for her family. It wasn't long after her death that my uncle was finally put in a home where he could be cared for by professionals.
My grandfather got his happily ever after. When my grandmother died he went back home to visit. He went fishing. He ran into old friends who mentioned that the love of his life was single. She had married poorly and after a loveless marriage they divorced. My grandfather married the selfish girl he left behind so many years before. But for several years he was happy.He chose to ignore her selfishness because he wanted to give her everything. He wanted her to know love.
The point to all of this is sometimes you just do what you might have to do. Sometimes you go through the motions. Do what is expected of you. Sometimes there is a reward. Sometimes there isn't but you still continue to do what you have to do.
My grandparents had a very weird start. Both born the 1900 they were bound by traditions that are luckily obsolete. Women were expected to marry and have a man take care of them. The oldest boy always inherits and the following boys are left to make their way in the world. Both had kind of crappy starts.
My grandmother was born in Alberta, Canada and her family moved to the states. On a trip while my grandmother was driving another car broadsided their car and her father was killed. She blamed herself and became sort of a recluse. She ate for comfort and unfortunately never really dated.
My grandfather was the second male child and after his brother blew his schooling money he decided to return to run the family farm. My grandfather fell hopelessly in love with a local girl who would not leave her mother and since they lived in a small farming community there was nothing for my grandfather to do but to find his fortune elsewhere. He eventually made his way to Los Angeles where he found steady work.
Both of my grandparents were encouraged to marry. They were both 30. Old singles for 1930. Their bishop actually told them they needed to find a mate. He laid out my grandfather's options for single ladies. Very few to choose from. They courted for a very short while and then they married. As far as I could tell no love story. Very sad really.
My grandmother soon became pregnant with my father a healthy boy. A few years later they had my uncle. He wasn't expected to live through the night. He had Down Syndrome. He couldn't swallow.
His doctor said death was a 'certainty' and they were encouraged to let him go. Send him to a home to live out his days. My grandmother was a stubborn lady. She spoon fed him and rubbed his throat until the liquid went down. My uncle learned to swallow. My uncle to dress himself, to speak a few simple words and several other mostly survival things. The boy who wasn't expected to make it, did.
My grandparents spoiled the normal son with things and freedom. They spent most of their time and energy on the special needs child. This was a big mistake. My grandfather was continually bailing his first child out of one mess or another.
My grandmother blamed herself for her father's death. Blamed herself for a loveless marriage. Blamed herself for a handicapped son. Blamed her husband for an out of control normal child because she was busy with the son who 'needed' her. Maybe in a way it was her fault. She had her first child later in life and the chance of having a disabled child increases as the mother ages. But really there was nothing she could have done to prevented it. It wasn't really her fault. Maybe God was giving her something else to focus on. Something besides her father.
She tried. He tried. Everyone suffered.
When my grandmother died at 69 years old my grandfather found out just how much my grandmother had done for my uncle. He couldn't handle taking care of him alone. My grandmother did most of everything herself. She was tough. And probably tougher still because she always blamed herself. For everything. Thinking she was somehow the cause him to be born that way. Maybe as some penance for 'killing' her father. She did everything for her family. It wasn't long after her death that my uncle was finally put in a home where he could be cared for by professionals.
My grandfather got his happily ever after. When my grandmother died he went back home to visit. He went fishing. He ran into old friends who mentioned that the love of his life was single. She had married poorly and after a loveless marriage they divorced. My grandfather married the selfish girl he left behind so many years before. But for several years he was happy.He chose to ignore her selfishness because he wanted to give her everything. He wanted her to know love.
The point to all of this is sometimes you just do what you might have to do. Sometimes you go through the motions. Do what is expected of you. Sometimes there is a reward. Sometimes there isn't but you still continue to do what you have to do.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Lost Too Young
Blog post #88 of 365
I read this on a friends blog and it just seared a hole in my heart. I luckily have never experienced the loss of a child but I have know too many young people whose lives were cut way too short.
“An Early Goodbye,” written by Janice Kapp Perry
There is pain in an early good bye.
There are so many dreams you set aside.
So many memories to cause you pain, so many plans to change.
There is pain in an early goodbye.
There are so many times you question why,
so many feelings you must deny, so many tears you cry.
There are so many things I wanted to say,
so many reasons I hoped you could stay.
I loved you completely I have no regrets, but I just wasn't ready yet.
So I'll cry a little bit,
and I'll die a little bit and I'll try with all my heart to make some sense of it.
And there's only one power to lean upon,
there's only one reason that I can go on.
I believe in the wisdom of God.
He ruleth the seasons, He fails us not.
This kind of sorrow He too has known.
I do not walk alone.
There is nothing, and no one to blame.
And there's no use in thinking what might have been.
I would have kept you through life's short span, but God had a different plan.
So I'll pray for the day when sorrow will cease,
pray for the day when I know perfect peace.
I'll find courage to make it somehow, but I'm feeling so lonely now.
So I'll cry a little bit,
then I'll try a little bit and I'll trust in God above to make some sense if it.
Then my eye will be single to one bright star,
to live my life worthy to be where you are.
But today it's not easy, today I may cry,
so if you see a tear in my eye, it's the pain of an early goodbye.
(Thanks Kat)
I have known too many young people who have passed too soon. I have to believe you were needed elsewhere and were pulled away for a greater deed. But you are missed.
Young or old loss is hard. Grief is tough. I don't care who you are. It will hit everyone differently and we all react to it in a way we decide not some generalized way. Grief isn't for sissies.
They say time heals and I believe it does. I also know that just when you think your grief is over and done, even way over and done, grief can sneak up on you and smack you on the back of the head. Knock your knees out from under you. Blindside you. It doesn't make sense but it doesn't have to. It is okay to grieve. Grieve however it suits you.
I don't think love and grief are measured the same way. I believe they are separate and should never be compared.
I rarely cry at funerals. Don't judge me. I cry at odd and usually inopportune times.
I believe we live forever. Meaning our spirit is forever. Our bodies break down and that is okay. So when I die have a little celebration. Smile at my mistakes. Understand my quirks and laugh about them. I do so why shouldn't you? I know you will get sad but be sad because we are apart for a time. Please don't mourn. I'll see you again some day.
One more thing don't visit my grave. Remember me when you ride Thunder mountain or Space mountain at Disneyland. My favorites. Remember me when you see a stunning sunset or sunrise. I love those. Remember me when you hear laughter or music because I love those too! Don't put flowers out. Donate the money to something I believe in like finding a cure for one of the many diseases I hate. Or give to a homeless shelter or a food bank. Make your memories of me count for something. Flowers on my grave are a waste. Plant something in your yard. Something you can eat. That would be the best tribute for me. Something that can live on and feed your soul. Those are the ways I will remember you. I will always remember you. Just because I don't go hang around your grave doesn't mean your memory isn't any less cherished. You mean something to me and one day I will see you again.
I read this on a friends blog and it just seared a hole in my heart. I luckily have never experienced the loss of a child but I have know too many young people whose lives were cut way too short.
“An Early Goodbye,” written by Janice Kapp Perry
There is pain in an early good bye.
There are so many dreams you set aside.
So many memories to cause you pain, so many plans to change.
There is pain in an early goodbye.
There are so many times you question why,
so many feelings you must deny, so many tears you cry.
There are so many things I wanted to say,
so many reasons I hoped you could stay.
I loved you completely I have no regrets, but I just wasn't ready yet.
So I'll cry a little bit,
and I'll die a little bit and I'll try with all my heart to make some sense of it.
And there's only one power to lean upon,
there's only one reason that I can go on.
I believe in the wisdom of God.
He ruleth the seasons, He fails us not.
This kind of sorrow He too has known.
I do not walk alone.
There is nothing, and no one to blame.
And there's no use in thinking what might have been.
I would have kept you through life's short span, but God had a different plan.
So I'll pray for the day when sorrow will cease,
pray for the day when I know perfect peace.
I'll find courage to make it somehow, but I'm feeling so lonely now.
So I'll cry a little bit,
then I'll try a little bit and I'll trust in God above to make some sense if it.
Then my eye will be single to one bright star,
to live my life worthy to be where you are.
But today it's not easy, today I may cry,
so if you see a tear in my eye, it's the pain of an early goodbye.
(Thanks Kat)
I have known too many young people who have passed too soon. I have to believe you were needed elsewhere and were pulled away for a greater deed. But you are missed.
Young or old loss is hard. Grief is tough. I don't care who you are. It will hit everyone differently and we all react to it in a way we decide not some generalized way. Grief isn't for sissies.
They say time heals and I believe it does. I also know that just when you think your grief is over and done, even way over and done, grief can sneak up on you and smack you on the back of the head. Knock your knees out from under you. Blindside you. It doesn't make sense but it doesn't have to. It is okay to grieve. Grieve however it suits you.
I don't think love and grief are measured the same way. I believe they are separate and should never be compared.
I rarely cry at funerals. Don't judge me. I cry at odd and usually inopportune times.
I believe we live forever. Meaning our spirit is forever. Our bodies break down and that is okay. So when I die have a little celebration. Smile at my mistakes. Understand my quirks and laugh about them. I do so why shouldn't you? I know you will get sad but be sad because we are apart for a time. Please don't mourn. I'll see you again some day.
One more thing don't visit my grave. Remember me when you ride Thunder mountain or Space mountain at Disneyland. My favorites. Remember me when you see a stunning sunset or sunrise. I love those. Remember me when you hear laughter or music because I love those too! Don't put flowers out. Donate the money to something I believe in like finding a cure for one of the many diseases I hate. Or give to a homeless shelter or a food bank. Make your memories of me count for something. Flowers on my grave are a waste. Plant something in your yard. Something you can eat. That would be the best tribute for me. Something that can live on and feed your soul. Those are the ways I will remember you. I will always remember you. Just because I don't go hang around your grave doesn't mean your memory isn't any less cherished. You mean something to me and one day I will see you again.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Live Your Life
Blog post #87 of 365
It seems like everyone is waiting for something before they live. I mean live the way they want. They wait for school to end or a career to start before they get married. I figure if you know you can't imagine your life without him or her in your life why wait. People wait to have kids until they are mature enough or until they have saved enough money. Well the best time to have kids is when you are young enough to enjoy them and old enough to understand the role. If you wait until the "perfect" time you may lose out on the best experience of your life. People wait until retirement to try new things or take that trip. Why wait? Enjoy life while you can. Life can be way too short. You can never know if an opportunity will ever be there again. So when life gives you a change to have a little fun, take the opportunity. Live your life not for your parents or your peers but for yourself.
What will people think? Who cares it isn't any of your business what people think.
I'm not saying be reckless. I'm not saying be irresponsible I am just saying be prepared when opportunity knocks Open the door and walk though!
It seems like everyone is waiting for something before they live. I mean live the way they want. They wait for school to end or a career to start before they get married. I figure if you know you can't imagine your life without him or her in your life why wait. People wait to have kids until they are mature enough or until they have saved enough money. Well the best time to have kids is when you are young enough to enjoy them and old enough to understand the role. If you wait until the "perfect" time you may lose out on the best experience of your life. People wait until retirement to try new things or take that trip. Why wait? Enjoy life while you can. Life can be way too short. You can never know if an opportunity will ever be there again. So when life gives you a change to have a little fun, take the opportunity. Live your life not for your parents or your peers but for yourself.
What will people think? Who cares it isn't any of your business what people think.
I'm not saying be reckless. I'm not saying be irresponsible I am just saying be prepared when opportunity knocks Open the door and walk though!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Water
Blog post #86 of 365
I believe in drinking water every day. I read something interesting today that I thought someone else might find interesting as well
Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body.
Drink two eight ounce glasses of water after waking up to help activate your internal organs.
Drink one eight ounce glass of water thirty minutes before eating a meal. It helps with digestion.
Drink one eight ounce glass of water before taking a bath to help lower blood pressure.
Drink one eight ounce glass of water before going to bed to help avoid stroke or heart attack. It won't necessarily prevent a stroke or heart attack but it can help reduce the odds.
If you were counting that is eight glasses of water a day. Sounds like a lot but it isn't. Actually if you get up and drink two glasses of water then shower and eat breakfast you cover getting your organs jump started, lowering your your blood pressure and help your digestion all with the same two glasses. But eight glasses of water throughout the day won't hurt you.
I believe in drinking water every day. I read something interesting today that I thought someone else might find interesting as well
Drinking water at a certain time maximizes its effectiveness on the body.
Drink two eight ounce glasses of water after waking up to help activate your internal organs.
Drink one eight ounce glass of water thirty minutes before eating a meal. It helps with digestion.
Drink one eight ounce glass of water before taking a bath to help lower blood pressure.
Drink one eight ounce glass of water before going to bed to help avoid stroke or heart attack. It won't necessarily prevent a stroke or heart attack but it can help reduce the odds.
If you were counting that is eight glasses of water a day. Sounds like a lot but it isn't. Actually if you get up and drink two glasses of water then shower and eat breakfast you cover getting your organs jump started, lowering your your blood pressure and help your digestion all with the same two glasses. But eight glasses of water throughout the day won't hurt you.
Friday, February 8, 2013
The Best Parents
Blog post #85 of 365
I read the ABC's of being a good parent the other day. It went like this.
Ask about my day
I read the ABC's of being a good parent the other day. It went like this.
Ask about my day
Be present when you’re with me
Celebrate my little victories
Dote on me
Encourage me when I’m down
Forgive my mistakes
Grow with me
Help me when I need it
Insist I eat my veggies
Joke with me
Kiss me even when I don’t want you to
Listen to me
Make memories with me
Notice when I do something right
Organize me until I can do it myself
Play with me a lot
Question me about my day
Read to me then read with me
Smile at me
Turn off my electronics
Understand me
Value me
Wait patiently because I’ll get it some day
XXX and OOO me every day
Yell less
Zero in on what makes me, me.
Those are all very good. There are a few I would add.
Always protect me from harm but not from myself. If I make a mistake let me learn from it.
Begin every day with love
Cuddle with me every day
Don't worry what other parents are doing go with your gut and do what is right
Give me opportunities to learn
Excite me about the world
I could probably make a few more lists too but these are a good place to start.
I wish someone had given me these lists when I was starting out. I made lots of mistakes but I learned from every one of them. I hope you parents do too.
Those are all very good. There are a few I would add.
Always protect me from harm but not from myself. If I make a mistake let me learn from it.
Begin every day with love
Cuddle with me every day
Don't worry what other parents are doing go with your gut and do what is right
Give me opportunities to learn
Excite me about the world
Find ways to have fun with me
Get dirty with me
Have a little time for yourself while I'm napping or at school so you don't grow impatient
Insist I follow the rules
Jump and play with me
Kindness is always on the menu even when it feels hard
Love me even when I'm not acting lovable
Monkey around sometimes
Never be afraid to tell me no
Organize yourself so I can see how it is done and we will have more time for learning and play
Pay attention
Quiet time is good
Really listen
Speak with love even when you're angry
Turn off the TV
Use kindness
Value our time together
Wish with me but keep me grounded
XXX and OOO me every night too
Yell a lot less
Zero in on all of my good qualities and help me make them betterI could probably make a few more lists too but these are a good place to start.
I wish someone had given me these lists when I was starting out. I made lots of mistakes but I learned from every one of them. I hope you parents do too.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Birthdays
Blog post #84 of 365
This week I celebrate three important birthdays.
February sixth is my brother Ron's birthday. I didn't have the opportunity to grow up with him. He was adopted right after he was born but since our meeting and even before I take the opportunity to celebrate his birth and his life. He is a pretty great guy I have grown to love and respect.
February eighth is my youngest child's birthday. She is the child I hadn't planned on. It is a long story but the short of it is God wasn't done giving me kids and I wasn't aware of his plans until Katy was on her way. Best gift I never knew I wanted. She was a blessing to our family. The entertainer, the peacemaker, the one who always knew where you mislaid your book or where your other shoe was. A smile that would melt your heart and would do without to give you what she thought you needed. Like I said a great blessing!
February ninth is my brother David's birthday. I did grow up with him. The only one of five brothers I actually did grow up with. He was the one who tagged along, ruined my Barbie's hair (he wanted to play but never touched her body just dangled her by her hair), let me use him to practice putting on make up, let me be one of the boys, took the fall for stuff he didn't do and also took me down for stuff he did do. I wouldn't have traded him for the world.
This week is a big celebration.
This week I celebrate three important birthdays.
February sixth is my brother Ron's birthday. I didn't have the opportunity to grow up with him. He was adopted right after he was born but since our meeting and even before I take the opportunity to celebrate his birth and his life. He is a pretty great guy I have grown to love and respect.
February eighth is my youngest child's birthday. She is the child I hadn't planned on. It is a long story but the short of it is God wasn't done giving me kids and I wasn't aware of his plans until Katy was on her way. Best gift I never knew I wanted. She was a blessing to our family. The entertainer, the peacemaker, the one who always knew where you mislaid your book or where your other shoe was. A smile that would melt your heart and would do without to give you what she thought you needed. Like I said a great blessing!
February ninth is my brother David's birthday. I did grow up with him. The only one of five brothers I actually did grow up with. He was the one who tagged along, ruined my Barbie's hair (he wanted to play but never touched her body just dangled her by her hair), let me use him to practice putting on make up, let me be one of the boys, took the fall for stuff he didn't do and also took me down for stuff he did do. I wouldn't have traded him for the world.
This week is a big celebration.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Handicap
Blog post #83 of 365
Both definitions have been a part of my vocabulary since a very early age. I believe the first time I heard about the sports term handicap was actually a horse race when I was probably seven or eight. I really understood it better after watching a golf tournament. At least that is the first time I remember a sports reference. Since then I have heard it many other uses. Several while my brother was in sports at school. Gaining or losing weight to fit into a specific category to go up against a specific opponent. Later when my children played sports.
However physical handicaps I have known since the day I understood words. I grew up with an uncle had a handicap. Back then people would say he was 'mongoloid.' My mom still uses that reference but if I were Mongolian I might take offense to it's use. The politically correct word is Down Syndrome. He stayed with my grandparents until my grandmother died in 1969. Then he went into a home where I met even more people with disabilities. For that I am grateful.
After all of this you may be wondering why I have started this post with a subject of handicap. Well it comes down to interpretation and jumping to conclusions. I believe there are times in sports events for a handicap to make things fair. However I'm not the biggest sports fan so whatever. Maybe I'm not the one to speak on the subject.
I am however handicapped. I'm not afraid of the label. It is just a label. My handicap does not define me. Actually it is a them. I have many "disabling" factors that I think actually make it easier for me to accept the label. I have to give into it from time to time but I have learned to adapt and live with it. I'm good with that.
I have a handicapped placard and a handicapped plate that allow me to park in a handicapped parking spot. I don't always. I figure on good days there might be someone who needs it more than I do. I have been harassed for both using it and for not using it. I had my car keyed with a note that said, "I get a fine for parking in your place so don't park in mine." Really? There is an entire parking lot of places to park and you begrudge me one? How do they know I not an able bodied person using the car of someone else? I have been screamed at for looking "able bodied" and abusing a handicapped plate that didn't belong to me. Well it is mine. Just because you don't know what is wrong with me doesn't give you the right to jump to conclusions. When did you get your PHD and when did you examine me?
People make judgements. They see people getting out of the car in the handicapped stall and yes judgements are made. Shoot I am a little ashamed to admit it but I a have made them before. Wondering why the people who jump out and run in leaving an aged, probably handicapped person in the car while they shop. That bugs me. Or the ones who get out and you can see part of the handicap is probably obesity. I just wonder if they didn't park at the outskirts and walk in if it wouldn't be more beneficial. Yes I have and do make judgements from time to time. In all honesty many of you might look at me and never see my handicap(s). Some of you may judge me. I have learned to live with that too.
I am handicapped. I am not differently-abled. I am not special. I don't want to be looked down on. I didn't ask for this. I don't want your pity. I want you to know I appreciate each day. I appreciate every moment with less pain. I appreciate my special parking and I appreciate the days when I am able to walk further and willingly give up those spots to someone who may need them more than I do. Mostly I appreciate those who don't judge. To those who pray for me and anyone else who may be in need, I am grateful.
I have been thinking a lot about the word handicap and what people think when they hear it. I looked up the definition and according to Mirriam-Webster the word handicap means.
1 a :
a race or contest in which an artificial advantage is given or
disadvantage imposed on a contestant to equalize chances of winning
b :
an advantage given or disadvantage imposed usually in the form of
points, strokes, weight to be carried, or distance from the target or
goal
2 a : a disadvantage that makes achievement unusually difficult
b sometimes offensive : a physical disability
Both definitions have been a part of my vocabulary since a very early age. I believe the first time I heard about the sports term handicap was actually a horse race when I was probably seven or eight. I really understood it better after watching a golf tournament. At least that is the first time I remember a sports reference. Since then I have heard it many other uses. Several while my brother was in sports at school. Gaining or losing weight to fit into a specific category to go up against a specific opponent. Later when my children played sports.
However physical handicaps I have known since the day I understood words. I grew up with an uncle had a handicap. Back then people would say he was 'mongoloid.' My mom still uses that reference but if I were Mongolian I might take offense to it's use. The politically correct word is Down Syndrome. He stayed with my grandparents until my grandmother died in 1969. Then he went into a home where I met even more people with disabilities. For that I am grateful.
After all of this you may be wondering why I have started this post with a subject of handicap. Well it comes down to interpretation and jumping to conclusions. I believe there are times in sports events for a handicap to make things fair. However I'm not the biggest sports fan so whatever. Maybe I'm not the one to speak on the subject.
I am however handicapped. I'm not afraid of the label. It is just a label. My handicap does not define me. Actually it is a them. I have many "disabling" factors that I think actually make it easier for me to accept the label. I have to give into it from time to time but I have learned to adapt and live with it. I'm good with that.
I have a handicapped placard and a handicapped plate that allow me to park in a handicapped parking spot. I don't always. I figure on good days there might be someone who needs it more than I do. I have been harassed for both using it and for not using it. I had my car keyed with a note that said, "I get a fine for parking in your place so don't park in mine." Really? There is an entire parking lot of places to park and you begrudge me one? How do they know I not an able bodied person using the car of someone else? I have been screamed at for looking "able bodied" and abusing a handicapped plate that didn't belong to me. Well it is mine. Just because you don't know what is wrong with me doesn't give you the right to jump to conclusions. When did you get your PHD and when did you examine me?
People make judgements. They see people getting out of the car in the handicapped stall and yes judgements are made. Shoot I am a little ashamed to admit it but I a have made them before. Wondering why the people who jump out and run in leaving an aged, probably handicapped person in the car while they shop. That bugs me. Or the ones who get out and you can see part of the handicap is probably obesity. I just wonder if they didn't park at the outskirts and walk in if it wouldn't be more beneficial. Yes I have and do make judgements from time to time. In all honesty many of you might look at me and never see my handicap(s). Some of you may judge me. I have learned to live with that too.
I am handicapped. I am not differently-abled. I am not special. I don't want to be looked down on. I didn't ask for this. I don't want your pity. I want you to know I appreciate each day. I appreciate every moment with less pain. I appreciate my special parking and I appreciate the days when I am able to walk further and willingly give up those spots to someone who may need them more than I do. Mostly I appreciate those who don't judge. To those who pray for me and anyone else who may be in need, I am grateful.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
The Mixed Blessing of Pain
Blog post #82 of 365
A sweet young (early 20's) friend was having a bad day today she said, “This whole day has just been nauseatingly depressing, but I guess that's the whole point of a bad day is to fully appreciate the good ones when they happen, right?” (AH) It got me thinking about the how many people never really look at these kinds of things and how wonderful it is that someone so young is so astute.
A sweet young (early 20's) friend was having a bad day today she said, “This whole day has just been nauseatingly depressing, but I guess that's the whole point of a bad day is to fully appreciate the good ones when they happen, right?” (AH) It got me thinking about the how many people never really look at these kinds of things and how wonderful it is that someone so young is so astute.
We all have bad days. Unfortunately I have lots of bad
days. I am in chronic pain. I hardly ever say that out loud. Print is so permanent and solid writing it isn't a happy thing either but it is the truth. It has been so long I don't remember life without pain. The pains have changed some along the way. I am never out of pain. I have to make myself think what my pain levels are because sometimes I forget. I like forgetting. I like one to five days. You know those pain charts in doctors offices, urgent cares, clinic and emergency rooms across the country. I don't know a lot of people who are happy with a five day. I am. A five beats a ten any time! But even six days just push me too far.
I am for the most part okay with pain. I have learned to live with it. Fight through it. Refocus. Distract myself. Meditation helps some. Medications aren't effective most of the time. Although once in a while it would be nice to just knock out till the peaks pass. They always do. For me pain usually comes in waves.
Like my young friend I appreciate the good days. I do. I love every one of them. I do wish I could control them. By that I mean at least know when they are coming so I can plan for them. Work around them so to speak.
The other thing about pain is I have learned to help others in pain. getting ahead of your pain is best. Meaning don't let it get intolerable before doing something or taking something to alleviate it. It is harder to chase it away once it gains momentum. I have also learned to empathize. It is a sad gift but a gift none the less.
I have also learned that people in pain can get snippy. I can get snippy. But I also have become more aware of how I act. Curb it or stay away from people when pain strikes. What else can I do? Walking around snippy all of the time isn't productive. It isn't helpful to me or anyone else.
I have come to look at pain as a blessing. It isn't one I asked for or want or even one I'd wish on anyone else but it is a blessing because I have learned to appreciate what I have. All of what I have. I have learned to make the best of it.
Like my young friend I appreciate the good days. I do. I love every one of them. I do wish I could control them. By that I mean at least know when they are coming so I can plan for them. Work around them so to speak.
The other thing about pain is I have learned to help others in pain. getting ahead of your pain is best. Meaning don't let it get intolerable before doing something or taking something to alleviate it. It is harder to chase it away once it gains momentum. I have also learned to empathize. It is a sad gift but a gift none the less.
I have also learned that people in pain can get snippy. I can get snippy. But I also have become more aware of how I act. Curb it or stay away from people when pain strikes. What else can I do? Walking around snippy all of the time isn't productive. It isn't helpful to me or anyone else.
I have come to look at pain as a blessing. It isn't one I asked for or want or even one I'd wish on anyone else but it is a blessing because I have learned to appreciate what I have. All of what I have. I have learned to make the best of it.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Humbled By a Seven Year Old
Blog post # 81 of 365
I've been helping my niece with her kids. There is much more to the story but I'm noting going into it today. Every weekend for four weekends I've had four kids ages seven, six, five and three. I've learned much from them and they have learned much from me. Mostly they have learned to trust, how to follow basic rules and that when rules aren't followed there are consequences. No matter how much you don't want the consequences they will remain.
There has been a running theme and an under current of "I don't want you to forget me" going on. I never have them out of my mind and I never will. For seven years I have prayed for their safety and well being.
We all went to church together on Sunday and we all enjoyed services. By the end of the meetings the kids were getting sad about leaving. My niece thought she was having surgery today. She was mistaken but still scared. Nothing I said calmed her.
Let me back track a little here. My niece has 5 kids. One of her kids, the seven year old, was bitten by a dog (when she was five) and had to undergo emergency surgery to rebuild her face. About six months later they did another surgery to correct the hurried emergency surgery but alas it wasn't a successful as we had hoped so now about a year later she is having a third corrective surgery.
For a long while the kids have been in a state of constant movement and a little out of control. Through it all I have tired to remain their constant. Tried to make sure they knew I always have their back. Due to circumstances beyond my control or theirs there has been chunks of time when I could not be there for them. I have gone to great lengths to make sure the kids have been cared for. That the focus is on them. I have tried to let them know they will always have family who cares about them.
Nearing the end of the meeting my seven year old niece crawls up in my lap with tears in her eyes and begged me not to make her go home Sunday night. I knew she had the surgery consultation in the morning and I told her I would be there this morning. She told me she was scared and I told her I would do my best to keep them one more night. I did.
The kids mom tells me mornings are difficult. I told the kids we had to go to bed early because we had to get up earlier than normal. I had bags packed, clothes laid out and everything organized for today. Everyone went to bed on time and fell asleep without trouble. This morning was smooth as silk. As we made out way to pick up mommy, to take the 6 year old to school and go to the consult my little niece who had been scared to death just the day before sang, and she sang, and she sang. She told jokes and laughed and was all in all this wonderful kid. On the way I discussed having her recover at my house with her mom. She was thrilled. Her mommy was amenable and I was happy to be there for her.
As she sat in the waiting area and later in the room for her surgeon to arrive she remained this amazingly brave little girl. She joked with the nurses and played with her little brother and sister. The surgeon arrived and began talking about the cuts he would make and how the repairs would go and why some expectations would not be doable at this stage. And all the while this seven year old listened and cooperated and looked calm and collected while all of these grown people talked and discussed and made decisions for her future.
As we walked out she smiled and thanked the surgeon. As we booked an appointment for pre-op testing she smiled and stood there quietly and as she piled into the other car to leave I saw this brave little girl with a tear in her eye tell me how much she loved me.
On the ride home I cried. I thought about how scared I know she is and about the long weeks of healing she will encounter and then how incredibly brave and strong and grown up she remained. I am humbled by her strength. I am humbled by her courage and I am humbled at how much she loves and trusts me.
I've been helping my niece with her kids. There is much more to the story but I'm noting going into it today. Every weekend for four weekends I've had four kids ages seven, six, five and three. I've learned much from them and they have learned much from me. Mostly they have learned to trust, how to follow basic rules and that when rules aren't followed there are consequences. No matter how much you don't want the consequences they will remain.
There has been a running theme and an under current of "I don't want you to forget me" going on. I never have them out of my mind and I never will. For seven years I have prayed for their safety and well being.
We all went to church together on Sunday and we all enjoyed services. By the end of the meetings the kids were getting sad about leaving. My niece thought she was having surgery today. She was mistaken but still scared. Nothing I said calmed her.
Let me back track a little here. My niece has 5 kids. One of her kids, the seven year old, was bitten by a dog (when she was five) and had to undergo emergency surgery to rebuild her face. About six months later they did another surgery to correct the hurried emergency surgery but alas it wasn't a successful as we had hoped so now about a year later she is having a third corrective surgery.
For a long while the kids have been in a state of constant movement and a little out of control. Through it all I have tired to remain their constant. Tried to make sure they knew I always have their back. Due to circumstances beyond my control or theirs there has been chunks of time when I could not be there for them. I have gone to great lengths to make sure the kids have been cared for. That the focus is on them. I have tried to let them know they will always have family who cares about them.
Nearing the end of the meeting my seven year old niece crawls up in my lap with tears in her eyes and begged me not to make her go home Sunday night. I knew she had the surgery consultation in the morning and I told her I would be there this morning. She told me she was scared and I told her I would do my best to keep them one more night. I did.
The kids mom tells me mornings are difficult. I told the kids we had to go to bed early because we had to get up earlier than normal. I had bags packed, clothes laid out and everything organized for today. Everyone went to bed on time and fell asleep without trouble. This morning was smooth as silk. As we made out way to pick up mommy, to take the 6 year old to school and go to the consult my little niece who had been scared to death just the day before sang, and she sang, and she sang. She told jokes and laughed and was all in all this wonderful kid. On the way I discussed having her recover at my house with her mom. She was thrilled. Her mommy was amenable and I was happy to be there for her.
As she sat in the waiting area and later in the room for her surgeon to arrive she remained this amazingly brave little girl. She joked with the nurses and played with her little brother and sister. The surgeon arrived and began talking about the cuts he would make and how the repairs would go and why some expectations would not be doable at this stage. And all the while this seven year old listened and cooperated and looked calm and collected while all of these grown people talked and discussed and made decisions for her future.
As we walked out she smiled and thanked the surgeon. As we booked an appointment for pre-op testing she smiled and stood there quietly and as she piled into the other car to leave I saw this brave little girl with a tear in her eye tell me how much she loved me.
On the ride home I cried. I thought about how scared I know she is and about the long weeks of healing she will encounter and then how incredibly brave and strong and grown up she remained. I am humbled by her strength. I am humbled by her courage and I am humbled at how much she loves and trusts me.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Boundaries, Borders and Barriers
Blog post #80 of 365
I went to the store the other day and noticed the barrier outside store. Every store seems to have them. Either a planter or posts or like Sam's Club chained off. Sam's Club says it is chained off so pedestrians have a "safe" way to cross into the parking lot. Like all of a sudden people don't know how to cross a parking lot? I have heard they are there to prevent angry shoppers from driving into the store. The store I was visiting had huge red cement balls across the front. However most cars and trucks would easily be able to fit between them. It made me wonder why the big balls are there? What would they stop? They sure aren't decorative or anything.
Those balls got me thinking about other barriers, boundaries and borders. Why they are there and what they are for?
Countries and states are often oddly or interestingly shaped for the most part. Their borders usually have more to do with natural geographical divides like rivers, oceans, hills, or mountains. Those boundaries I understand. They make complete sense to me.
The natural borders got me thinking about border crossings from country to country. They have become a hotbed of controversy. Barriers, walls, armed guards, and more keep people in our out of other countries. Debates about how to protect boarders while respecting each other seems like it should be so much easier but I don't know how it would be easier or better. I have no answers.
I admit I don't understand immigration. I never really had to understand it. The only thing I know is if you're born in the United States you are a citizen and if you are born to an American parent even in another country you are an American. Beyond that it is all unknown. I wonder sometimes if I should know more. Especially with all of the debates on the subject. Are we setting up barriers more to keep people out or to keep people in?
I understand boundaries. Keeping things and people within the lines. I understand order. I understand keeping score. I understand rules. I don't understand not setting boundaries. I don't understand parents who thing kids can parent themselves. It isn't cool not to set boundaries with children.
My mind has been all over the place with this title. Yup sometimes these things take on a life of their own. As I close I'm leaving a few questions about personal boundaries. What do you allow? What do you let others get away with? What do you stop? If someone goes to far or is right on the edge do you step in and help out? Do you stop them from getting hurt or do you let them fall and help them back up? What do you reinforce? Are you rewarding bad behavior? Are you allowing others to trod on you? Just questions running through my head.
I went to the store the other day and noticed the barrier outside store. Every store seems to have them. Either a planter or posts or like Sam's Club chained off. Sam's Club says it is chained off so pedestrians have a "safe" way to cross into the parking lot. Like all of a sudden people don't know how to cross a parking lot? I have heard they are there to prevent angry shoppers from driving into the store. The store I was visiting had huge red cement balls across the front. However most cars and trucks would easily be able to fit between them. It made me wonder why the big balls are there? What would they stop? They sure aren't decorative or anything.
Those balls got me thinking about other barriers, boundaries and borders. Why they are there and what they are for?
Countries and states are often oddly or interestingly shaped for the most part. Their borders usually have more to do with natural geographical divides like rivers, oceans, hills, or mountains. Those boundaries I understand. They make complete sense to me.
The natural borders got me thinking about border crossings from country to country. They have become a hotbed of controversy. Barriers, walls, armed guards, and more keep people in our out of other countries. Debates about how to protect boarders while respecting each other seems like it should be so much easier but I don't know how it would be easier or better. I have no answers.
I admit I don't understand immigration. I never really had to understand it. The only thing I know is if you're born in the United States you are a citizen and if you are born to an American parent even in another country you are an American. Beyond that it is all unknown. I wonder sometimes if I should know more. Especially with all of the debates on the subject. Are we setting up barriers more to keep people out or to keep people in?
I understand boundaries. Keeping things and people within the lines. I understand order. I understand keeping score. I understand rules. I don't understand not setting boundaries. I don't understand parents who thing kids can parent themselves. It isn't cool not to set boundaries with children.
My mind has been all over the place with this title. Yup sometimes these things take on a life of their own. As I close I'm leaving a few questions about personal boundaries. What do you allow? What do you let others get away with? What do you stop? If someone goes to far or is right on the edge do you step in and help out? Do you stop them from getting hurt or do you let them fall and help them back up? What do you reinforce? Are you rewarding bad behavior? Are you allowing others to trod on you? Just questions running through my head.
Friday, February 1, 2013
On a Soap Box
Blog post #79 of 365
These last few days I feel like I'm standing on a soapbox. Standing here to an audience of none. If you come across this blog take two minute to read this and maybe it will have been worth my time and yours.
America was a great country. We have lost sight of what made this country great. Our country was filled with people who cared, who worked hard, had morals, valued integrity and loved their freedom.
The first step is solving any problem is recognizing there is a problem. There is a problem. We as a nation are complacent. We are led by uninformed nit wits and anyone who takes time to educate themselves is a trouble maker or a conspiracy theorist or a lunatic. America is not the greatest country in the world any more but it has the potential to become the greatest. It isn't about who is right, it is about what is right.
So do something to make changes. Real changes, not that crap Obama or any other politician has promised but real change to help our children and grandchildren and their children live in the greatest country there is. In a country who reveres integrity, hard work, and morals.
Get off your seat and do something.
Inspired by this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16K6m3Ua2nw&sns=fb
I am not promoting HBO or this program but I am recognizing the truth in the clip and the need for real change. Make a change.
These last few days I feel like I'm standing on a soapbox. Standing here to an audience of none. If you come across this blog take two minute to read this and maybe it will have been worth my time and yours.
America was a great country. We have lost sight of what made this country great. Our country was filled with people who cared, who worked hard, had morals, valued integrity and loved their freedom.
The first step is solving any problem is recognizing there is a problem. There is a problem. We as a nation are complacent. We are led by uninformed nit wits and anyone who takes time to educate themselves is a trouble maker or a conspiracy theorist or a lunatic. America is not the greatest country in the world any more but it has the potential to become the greatest. It isn't about who is right, it is about what is right.
So do something to make changes. Real changes, not that crap Obama or any other politician has promised but real change to help our children and grandchildren and their children live in the greatest country there is. In a country who reveres integrity, hard work, and morals.
Get off your seat and do something.
Inspired by this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16K6m3Ua2nw&sns=fb
I am not promoting HBO or this program but I am recognizing the truth in the clip and the need for real change. Make a change.
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