Why is sex a topic that make people clam up, blush, freak out, change the subject or otherwise show discomfort? Relax, lighten up and read on.
There are appropriate and not so appropriate settings to discuss sex but it should not be a taboo subject. Some images I'd rather not visualize so I get that sometimes people would rather not think about them let alone talk about them. Generalities are different though. The lines of communication should always be open especially between parent and child or between spouses.
I find sex to be a natural thing that should never be demonized. Nothing like telling someone sex is bad while growing up and then expect them to have a normal sex life later on.
I believe in sex education. People should know the risks and therefore make informed decisions. I don't think it is possible to teach abstinence but it is important for kids to know the parents rules/wishes. I believe if kids know what is right they will do what is right. They are kids though and should be reminded more than once.
My sex talk went something like this - Sex is a powerful act. The consequences are enormous. Birth control fails all the time. Condoms if not used right break or come off. You aren't allowed to have sex until you and your sexual partner are making enough money to raise a child and you have very good health insurance. If you decide to have sex you have to plan on raising the child, giving the child up for adoption or dieing. (All possible side affects from having sex.) If you have sex it should be with someone you know very well and are married to for the duration. In other words someone you plan to live with for the rest of your life. If the one you have sex with is not someone you could spend your life with then you should reconsider because chances are you could still be tied to that person for the rest of your life. When you have sex with someone you are also having sex with everyone they have had sex with (Gross!) so choose wisely.
As my kids began to date they were given the rules - No sex, no drugs, no alcohol and no smoking. I would give suitors the same sex talk I gave my own kids. Any guy that wanted to date my girls were also warned they could lose an appendage if they did not heed my advice to wait till marriage. Luckily two of my three sons waited till they were older to date.
Sex is something that should be shared by a committed couple and not random strangers. After all sex can kill! They didn't have these diseases 35 years ago. This information is a good deterrent for some young people.
Something as personal as a sex life should stay personal. Video taping is never a good idea. Still photos are also a bad idea. Even after marriage. They could get lost or heaven forbid you divorce and then what would happen.
As for me I am for sex with the right person, at the right time, in the right setting.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
I must be getting old
I am a little upset. I think I may be turning into a prude. As a young person I'd say I was adventurous and maybe even a little risque but not in a public way. As I age I have decided the world is becoming way too risque. People don't seem to give any thought to what this increasing lax of morals may be doing to the next generation and the next.
How about all of the cussing we see? Not just in the media but in public places and even in schools. I have been a teacher for a while and have been in classrooms both public and private from pre-K to high school. There is cussing at every level. Children in kindergarten are exposed to classmates who cuss on a regular basis. I once wondered how these children picked up the language but I have been watching parents. I see them cussing in front of and at their children. At first I thought it was just young (teen to early 20's) parents but even the older parents who should know better are being a bad example to their kids. Then add the media and these little people don't stand a chance.
When did it become okay to show what was once X rated content with an R rating? When I was a little girl movies faded to black or the camera panned to a blazing fireplace and everyone used their imagination to figure out what was happening next. Growing up there was an occasional half breast maybe a little nipple in the explicit movies. Later there was some of the same kinds of nudity. Just a brief glimpse here and there. Now on some movies and TV shows there is full on nudity both male and female. In recent movies I have watched the sexual images which have surpassed the images I once saw after being dared to sneak into a XXX theater. For instance "Monsters Ball" and more recently "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" were both nearly pornographic for what seemed to be the sake of getting attention. If I wanted X rated I'd rent some porn. You never know what you are in for these days when you walk into a theater and I see parents bringing little kids into PG and R rated movies every time. I pre-screened every movie I suspected would be inappropriate and banned my kids from seeing anything they were too young to see for whatever the reason.
It seems like people have lost their integrity. Those that still retain their integrity are a dieing breed. People don't seem to think twice about telling lies, stealing, cheating and being promiscuous. I wonder how soon it will be before 50 year anniversary celebrations will be a thing of the past.
I am sickened by the sick and twisted T-shirts, hats and bumper stickers that are filled with innuendo or even direct smut. Children are learning to read younger and younger every year. A few years ago Mickey Mouse and Tweety Bird likenesses were seen flipping off the cars behind them, giant testicles were seen hanging from truck tow balls, Calvin was seen peeing on every logo imaginable. How are kids supposed to know right from wrong with that example shoved in their faces?
I still have an adventurous side but my morals are strong. I think about how my actions will be seen by the young people around me and edit out behavior that might influence badly or offend. I will always protect children. They are so young and don't have the skills to protect themselves. I respect the elderly. They have had time to develop wisdom through experience and I can learn a lot from them. My private life stays private. I cherish my family. They are dear to me. I hope others look around and turn the clock back to the time when we cared about each other. A time when we were more easily shocked. A time when we were made to use our imaginations and smut wasn't everywhere. I believe smut isn't in the eyes of the beholder and should never leave private spaces.
Yes, I think I am a prude. I must be getting old.
How about all of the cussing we see? Not just in the media but in public places and even in schools. I have been a teacher for a while and have been in classrooms both public and private from pre-K to high school. There is cussing at every level. Children in kindergarten are exposed to classmates who cuss on a regular basis. I once wondered how these children picked up the language but I have been watching parents. I see them cussing in front of and at their children. At first I thought it was just young (teen to early 20's) parents but even the older parents who should know better are being a bad example to their kids. Then add the media and these little people don't stand a chance.
When did it become okay to show what was once X rated content with an R rating? When I was a little girl movies faded to black or the camera panned to a blazing fireplace and everyone used their imagination to figure out what was happening next. Growing up there was an occasional half breast maybe a little nipple in the explicit movies. Later there was some of the same kinds of nudity. Just a brief glimpse here and there. Now on some movies and TV shows there is full on nudity both male and female. In recent movies I have watched the sexual images which have surpassed the images I once saw after being dared to sneak into a XXX theater. For instance "Monsters Ball" and more recently "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" were both nearly pornographic for what seemed to be the sake of getting attention. If I wanted X rated I'd rent some porn. You never know what you are in for these days when you walk into a theater and I see parents bringing little kids into PG and R rated movies every time. I pre-screened every movie I suspected would be inappropriate and banned my kids from seeing anything they were too young to see for whatever the reason.
It seems like people have lost their integrity. Those that still retain their integrity are a dieing breed. People don't seem to think twice about telling lies, stealing, cheating and being promiscuous. I wonder how soon it will be before 50 year anniversary celebrations will be a thing of the past.
I am sickened by the sick and twisted T-shirts, hats and bumper stickers that are filled with innuendo or even direct smut. Children are learning to read younger and younger every year. A few years ago Mickey Mouse and Tweety Bird likenesses were seen flipping off the cars behind them, giant testicles were seen hanging from truck tow balls, Calvin was seen peeing on every logo imaginable. How are kids supposed to know right from wrong with that example shoved in their faces?
I still have an adventurous side but my morals are strong. I think about how my actions will be seen by the young people around me and edit out behavior that might influence badly or offend. I will always protect children. They are so young and don't have the skills to protect themselves. I respect the elderly. They have had time to develop wisdom through experience and I can learn a lot from them. My private life stays private. I cherish my family. They are dear to me. I hope others look around and turn the clock back to the time when we cared about each other. A time when we were more easily shocked. A time when we were made to use our imaginations and smut wasn't everywhere. I believe smut isn't in the eyes of the beholder and should never leave private spaces.
Yes, I think I am a prude. I must be getting old.
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