"Fine" The Big Fat Lie

The word "Fine" is defined as - a freedom from impurity - very thin in gauge or texture, not coarse, very small, keen, very precise or accurate, physically trained - delicate, subtle, sensitive, distinct - superior in kind, quality or appearance, excellent - ornate - very well, all right.

Someone you know walks up to you and asks, "How are you doing?" and you automatically say, "Fine." Someone you don't know (check out clerk, bank teller, server, police officer, firefighter, sales associate, etc) asks, "How are you doing?" and you usually say, "Fine." You go to your doctor who asks, "How are you doing/feeling?" and you almost automatically say, "Fine."

Fine is not always fine. In fact it can more often than not be a big fat lie. The truth is does the asker really want to know how you are doing/feeling? I would say no. I would say they like you and I are making small talk, trying not to be rude or establishing a relationship to further converse on the subject at hand.

The truth is that an automatic "Fine" answer is in some ways causing more harm than good. We don't want to burden people with the truth - "I'm tired." "I'm in pain." "I'm frustrated." "I'm angry." "I'm discouraged." "I'm a little lonely." We don't want to bring others down. We don't want pity. We don't want them to feel bad because they might be helpless to change things. But why not be honest? Especially if the person we are talking to we may never see again or better yet the person may be able to console us or lift us up. Wouldn't the Lord want us to allow others to help lift us up?

The worst is when I take my mom to the doctor and her pattent answer of "Fine." In a way the answer negates her getting the help she might need. If you are going to answer fine to a doctor don't expect him or her to take you seriously when you tell the truth about your ailments, pain, new symtoms etc. It has become a pet peeve of mine. Be honest with the doctor!

Better yet the next time someone/anyone asks, "How you are doing/feeling?" try being honest. I am not saying burden people I am just saying be honest. For instance "I've been better." Works for any kind of bad day or ailment and doesen't burden the asker or shut down the conversation. But if you are having a good day share the goodness. If you are happy say so. Why hide behind "I'm fine."? I just don't see why of all the lies we could or should tell we choose to pick "I'm fine."

Yes, I believe sometimes a lie by omission is a good thing. I don't believe it is a good thing to hurt feelings just for the sake of being honest. Like when answering does this make me look fat? Chances are the question was a fishing trip for a compliment.

Fine is not always fine... sometimes it is a big fat lie!

Movie Genre Or Not

There are five basic kinds of movies - kids, family, teen, guy and chick flicks. Kid movies are geared to kids usually without regard to the parents that will attend these movies with their kids. Family movies are like kid movies but have a little more regard for the parents and tend to have humor at more levels than that of a third grader. Teen movies tend to have a more adult theme but with crass humor. Guy movies are filled with action tend to have more gore and be a little more explicit. Chick flicks are generally more romantic even to the mushy side and every chick flick has a relationship (dating/marriage/friendship etc.) involved.

Genre is a little different than the kinds of movies I listed above. There are a ton of genre - western, thriller, gore, documentary, action, adventure, mystery, romantic, drama, war, porn, cult, silent, comedy, sappy tearjerkers, animation and probably a few I am forgetting. Many of these genre combine to make a different kind of movie all together. A classic chick flick is the combination of romantic & comedy, classic guy flicks combine action & adventure, classic kid flicks are generally animated & comedy, while family movies usually take the edge off and combine the more adult versions of comedy, adventure, mystery etc. geared not to offend anyone particular age group.

Recently there have been movies that combine genres in a non traditional way that make them fall into more than one kind of the movies listed in paragraph one. One combination in particular I find completely amazing is that of action/adventure and romantic/comedy. As a fan of guy and chick flicks they are the perfect combination of both kinds of movies. Making them the best movies for me!

Bet you can tell I'm a movie fan.

Today I watched a movie review TV program. I usually never agree with the reviewers but sometimes I find them entertaining. They also tell me about movies not in my area or not out yet or that I may not have given a chance because I didn't know about them. All good reasons to watch but as I get older I am finding them less and less entertaining or informative. Today was especially frustrating since they spent a while bashing my new favorite kind of movie. Maybe it is because movie reviewers are generally men and tend to bash the romantic comedy anyway. So to all the movie reviewers out there who agree that a romantic/comedy and action/adventure can't be combined think again. There is a place for movies that fall outside the box. I'm thinking the perfect date movie!

Grandchildren

Maybe the title should be grandsons because at this point I only have boys. I expect that to change one day but not too soon.

I have heard the saying, "If I knew how much fun grandchildren were I'd have had them first." In a way I get it but I don't agree. I adore my grandsons. I love spending time with them. Watching them grow and change is so wonderful. I enjoy finding the cute clothes, the best toys and great books for them.

When I watch my son with his sons I know I would never want to miss that part of being a grandparent. He adores them. He watched everything the nurses did to them from the moment they arrived till he and his wife took possession of their sons. He guarded them to make sure nothing bad happened to them. No unwanted moves, pokes or shots. He asked a ton of questions. The nurses were probably just wanting him to go sit with his wife.

This week my second grandson arrived. He is so adorable but I expected as much since he looks a lot like his brother who is so very cute. As I waited to meet my new grandson his brother stood guard at the nursery window pointing out his brother to every passerby. If they were not watching he got louder and more animated to make sure everyone saw his new brother.

I can't wait to watch them for the next few years turn in to the wonderful little men they will be. Will they continue to look similar? Will they be competitive? Will they play well together? All of those questions and more are swimming through my head this week. I also look forward to seeing how their parents parent. Will they do well? Will they do better than I did? I can only hope for the best and pray for them all.

I love my grandchildren.