Friday, January 31, 2014

Favorite Quotes from January 2014

Blog post #430 of 365

"If you're going to be weird, be confident about it." Emily

"The only resolution is to love yourself more." LKL

"Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eye can see." Mike L

"A goal without a plan is only a wish." Ramona

"If there must be trouble, let it be MY day that my child may have peace." Thomas P via Karen DLF

"This life is the time for men to prepare to meet God." ET

"You have to stand for what you believe in even if you are the only one standing." Brooke via Kerry

"Sometimes you just gotta dance to the song that's given to ya." Booth (Bones)

"Life has no limitations, except the ones you make." Random teacher Mary

"Adopt a no excuse attitude." Mary

"Quitting is not an option." Mary

"Kick the word can't out of your vocabulary." Mary (She has no arms.)

"Diagnosed with affluenza." (Psychologist testified that affluenza is When children who have a sense of entitlement, are irresponsible, and make excuses for poor behavior because parents have not set proper boundaries.) We are that family

"Optimist, one who understands that taking a step backward after taking a step forward isn't a disaster, it's the cha-cha." Beth

"There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything." Jimbo

"I have no idea what women want, but I do know what men want. We want to be really close to someone who will leave us alone." Todd

"Negative people will always find their walls." Jimbo

"Character is how you treat people who can do nothing for you." Aaron

"I accept who I am and yet I always strive to be better." Me

"Hatred has to stop. We hold things in and (eventually) we pop." Ashlynn

"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Shell

"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will." Mitch J

"There are people who always have something to say but nothing to contribute." Richard C

"If you never take a chance you won't have one." Jon C THM

"Want much can get in the way of having happiness." Me

"Learn to appreciate the whole person and you're golden." Me

"Use words like awesome, kind, generous, humble, competent and so on when describing anyone. Not the outside stuff." TWM

"Don't spend time being angry at people. Forgive them. Life is entirely too short." Amanda RIP

"Be good to each other." Amanda RIP

"Listen with your heart, you will understand. Let it break upon you like a wave upon the sand." Ashlynn

"The more I travel the stranger this seems to be: the most compassionate people seem to be the most conservative." Amanda RIP

"Choice, chance and change. You have to make a choice to take a chance or life will never change." Stephanie

"To get something you don't yet have, you must do something you don't yet do." Kerry H

"It takes a lot of effort to be effortless." Cooper via Spencer

"If God brings you to it, He'll get you through it." Bean

"What's the point of having a cover if you can't judge by it?" Cooper via Spencer

"Mock someone as they struggle and they will never share their struggles again."

"To belittle is to be little." Holly P

"Change your words, change your world." TPOW

"It's a beautiful day, can you see it?" Me

"Bacteria, the only culture some people will ever know." Grammarly

"A little burned biscuit now and then won't hurt anyone." Karen DLF

"Imagination is more important than intelligence." Albert E.

"If you're not prepared to be wrong, you'll never come up with anything original." Sir Ken R.

"Schools kill creativity." Tedx Logan Laplante

"Hatred corrodes the container that hold it. This is true of jealousy and anger as well so let it go." Me

"Constructive human interaction can never be established in an offensive manner." Kirby

"If you want to have a conversation avoid starting with an insult." Kirby

Conversely "If you want to have a pointless conversation, by all means begin with an insult or an angry tone." Me

"One of the blessing of old friendships is you can afford to be stupid with them." Karen DLF

"It is possible to be highly educated, socially powerful, deeply religious and still only be 10 years old emotionally." Kirby

"Let someone know you think they're fat and ugly (or fat or ugly) and that's all they'll ever hear you say. Say it to their face and it could be the last coherent thing you say for the rest of the day." Kirby

Lots of people never get past the fourth grade. You need merely to stroll about the internet to figure that out. It's like recess out there, but with no playground monitors." Kirby

"You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life has become better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant. It happened to me." Life As A House

"

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Always a Critic

Blog post #429 of 365

At the end of a season, sports, music, movies etc. but it makes people into this biggest critics.

I am not a sports fan. Not at all. I like going to a game. Any game. Hockey, basketball, baseball, football in person sure, but on TV no thanks. However I love the Superbowl. I DVR it and find out who won via TV, radio or social media, then 'watch it' so to speak. I fast forward through until I see the plays I've heard about and I watch all of the commercials. Okay if the commercial is lame I zip through them too.

I am not a team follower. No teams except maybe the USA Olympic team. But I root for the Aussies and Ukrainians too. I don't want them to beat the US but if we don't win I want them to win. Someone has to win right?

Honestly I hate game nights/days. Social media is filled with whiners and poor sports. Both poor losers and poor winners. Really poor sports. It is sad really. And everyone becomes a critic. They criticize players, coaches, weather and just about anything they can blame for a poor showing of 'their' team.

It is true of the awards season as well. Music, theater, movies, TV they all have multiple award shows. As the announce the contenders everyone becomes a critic. I hate award show nights on social media because like the Superbowl I DVR the ones I want to watch and then watch them on my time. I can skip the categories I don't care about, miss out on the announcers I don't appreciate, skip the performers I can do without. What a better way to enjoy an awards show.

I am not a critic. I love too many things about music, TV, theater and movies to be a critic. I can look past bad acting to appreciate a good adaptation or good editing or great costumes or awful lyrics to appreciate the composition or a bad composition for great lyrics. I have always known to appreciate what I can anywhere and any way I can. The funny thing is everyone on social media becomes a critic. And some I know have no business criticizing any one or anything. Just an observation.






Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Where Do You Look?

Blog post #428 of 365

My grandfather always walked a little bent over. Well he did from before I was born anyway.

Short grandpa story. When he was young he worked at the grand canyon. He was walking into the canyon and was pushed off the side by a pack mule. He landed on his feet about three stories down. His broken ankles heels and his legs were never the same. Neither was his back. After a fairly long recovery he never could stand up straight. He leaned forward and for many years always looked at the ground when he walked.

Many of the older folk at church walk bent forward with their eyes trained on the ground too. I began to think it was an old people thing but there are just as many who do not. A little confusing.

Mom walked through the house a little bit ago and I noticed she was walking bent forward with her eyes to the ground. I asked her about it. She said she knows if she falls she can't get up so she does everything in her power to avoid looking ahead or up so to speak. It made me wonder how much she misses as she walks past eyes down.

My friend Judy from college (both older students) was the same when it came to missing things. She didn't look at her feet but she did look straight ahead. She said she always had her eyes and her mind on the end goal. I wonder how much she missed out on my focusing so narrowly. I don't think it is a good idea to focus too much attention away from a goal but I do believe losing sight of the bigger picture means missing out on a lot.

I hope as I age I don't become the person so bent or so worried about falling or losing focus I miss out on all of the wonderful things around me.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Have I??

Blog post #427 of 365

When I was young there was a song I sung in Sunday school that has always felt important to me. It is called 'Have I done any good in the world today?' It goes something like this: Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need? Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad? If not I have failed indeed. It goes on to ask if I have lightened a burden, helped the sick or weary and finally asks if I was there when my help was needed. I have wondered if it was the influence of this song that spurred me to become a volunteer. And whether my children became volunteers because of the work we did as a family? I know it was perhaps an influence. Our family worked really hard sometimes but we also had a blast most of the time.

I see kids saying they are bored. They have nothing fun to do. Well who said work can't be fun? Do they know that being a part of the bigger picture is what really defines us.

I'm not saying there aren't benefits to having fun for the sake of fun but there is more satisfaction in having fun while being productive. Think Huck Finn here. He talked everyone into helping him paint a fence by making them believe it was fun. The truth is it can be fun painting a fence, covering graffiti, beautifying a community blight, repainting playground equipment at a park or school. There is so many things that can bring joy to others by putting in just a tiny bit of effort.

I was watching a movie the other day, Ride Along, where one of the characters was looked down on by another because he spent a great deal of time playing video games. When in fact he knew about weapons and the origins of weapons from playing the game. Now I'm not sure how much of that one can use in the real world I'm just saying there can be benefits to all things we do. Not letting 'fun' consume us is key.

When I was young if I said I was bored my parents or grandparents would 'find something' for us to do. This usually involved chores of some kind. Actually I didn't mind too much because if I said I was bored I was really honestly bored.

Our next generation, in my opinion, is overbooked, over worked or neglected. Some will take offence. Go ahead you are entitled to your opinion too. The overbooked and over worked kid's nights and weekends are filled with practice for ball, dance, gymnastics, martial arts etc. I think a little of that is cool but not so much that there isn't time to give back. Then there are the neglected kids. By neglected kids I mean the ones who have a single parent or two working parents who haven't got the time or means to add activities like dance, sports, etc. But these parents come home beaten emotionally and physically by the job and find little time to do more than sit down for a few minutes between dinner and bedtime. Then weekends are filled with the chores not done during the week. But do the kids help? My kids did chores from age one on. Not an exaggeration I promise. They made the mess they can pick it up. Toys go in the toy box. Books go on the shelf. Trash goes in the trashcan. Laundry goes in the hamper. Really not too hard to get your kids to pitch in from the get go.

At the end of the day or after you complete something, even homework or housework ask questions. Omit did I have fun but ask questions like these. Have I learned something? Do I feel productive? Did I do my best? Did I give it my all? Have I grown? Have I discovered something/anything? Have I added value? Have I pushed myself? Could I do more? Could I do better? Was I a good friend? Did I make anyone's day better? Have I done any good in the world today? Every little bit helps and if we move away from the question, was it fun and inspect closer we might just change the world for the better.




Monday, January 27, 2014

It is Your Story to Tell

Blog post #426 of 365

I blog. I journal. I have lived my own life. I don't need anyone else telling my story. Unfortunately sometime others will. Do you trust them to get it right. That said let me tell you where this is coming from. Yup, another story.

First a little back story. My mom has a lot of doctor appointments. She has a lot of things wrong and a doctor for each body part. She has excellent insurance and could have everything wrong with her fixed or maintained very easily but she is stubborn and refuses to understand a little fix here will stave off other things like pain or rashes and she likes to cheat on her diet among other things. She has had hammer toes for a very long time and unfortunately one had gotten infected and eventually the infected toe led to an amputation a few months back. For years she has complained of toenail pain when she walks. Well after loosing a toe she decided to get "horribly painful" hammer toe repair surgery. Her friend had had her toes fixed many years ago and said it was the worst pain you can ever imagine. (You shouldn't have to get to the point of amputation before you decide do the right thing no matter how painful someone tells you it is going to be.) That is part of her story.

On an after surgery toe check we were traveling home. I said, "Gosh I wish my insurance was better. I'd have him remove my ingrown toenails." (I have had them 'fixed' before but it didn't work.) She interrupted saying, "I have those too and they are mighty sore." I told her she should get them fixed then. She went on to say she had enough surgery and she didn't want more. (Broken record.) I told her that was up to her but if they were as bad as mine she would get them done. As I began to tell her mine were keeping me up at night. She didn't even let me finish the sentence before she interrupted again telling me I have no idea how painful they are and that I shouldn't even compare them to hers. Really just let me say my peace.

Admittedly, I don't know how painful hers are or not nor could she possibly know how painful mine are either. I do know she has diabetic neuropathy and didn't even feel the infection in her foot prior to the amputation but I also know her toenail pain is something she often complains about.I'm not sure how that works. The thing is she just always has to one up me. Her pain is worse, her cold is worse, her allergies are worse, etc. Just once I'd love for her to hear me out. Let me finish without interruption. Maybe that is why I blog and journal.

On Sunday I had some people from church over to give my mom a blessing. I believe in the power of prayer. As they were here they did her blessing then when on to talk a little. Then she was telling them I had lived in a specific town. They then assumed I grew up there. I said I was born when we lived there but moved before I was two. She scowled at me. Really if you are going to give people my life story at least speak the facts of it or let me tell my own story. The subject got a little awkward then she changed the subject. Going on about how the neighborhoods had changed through the years and mentioned some stuff she lived through. Her story finally! One of the men said, "Your journals must be full of interesting stuff." She admitted she doesn't journal or anything. He looked and me and said, "You should video tape her stories." After they left she said, "You are not video taping me." I'm old and wrinkled and I don't want people to remember me that way."

Back in the early 90's I was a caregiver for my grandfather before he passed away. He spent a little over a year with our family after his second wife passed away. There had been some bad blood in the family so it was awkward for some. Not for me. He was my grandfather and there was much I wanted to know. He never wrote anything down either. But we had some really long talks. Things I wanted to know and stuff that needed clarity. After he passed I discovered paperwork that verified some of what we talked about that could not be denied. If I don't write it down some of his story, it may never be heard. That would be a shame. I think I'll do just that.

The video thing isn't good for my mom for her own insecurities about her looks. However people will remember you how they saw you last or how they saw you most. They will remember you by their memories of you unless you have written down your story. Tell your story. Write stuff down. Even a daily log of the boring stuff will mean something to people down the road. A highlights reel of the funny, good, silly stuff is even better. I don't think she will but maybe I will jot down the stuff she says so one day someone will be able to look back on it. But if you have a chance write stuff down yourself. It is your story to tell.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Read This

Blog post #425 of 365

I don't think this should count as a blog post really but it is and so I will.

I love this blog post. It isn't my exact thoughts on education but it is in line with my views. Who needs a degree in hospitality services? Really most people working in that field (hotels mostly) can do the job without the debt and with a simple go in and figure things out mentality. Or pharmacy tech. Really all you do is get the job and they tell you what to do. What happened to those jobs. The ones you walk in and say I am willing to learn what I need to do and then do it. Nobody but college professors care about MLA and most people to be honest don't care about the grammar so much as the content. (Admittedly I like when people use proper words for example 'I have two eyes too.' As compared to 'I have to eyes two.' Or worse. And I don't want words shortened to the point they aren't words or they become a totally different word, especially in writing. Could is not spelled cld, nor is would spelled wld. And don't even get me started on totally becoming 'totes.' A tote is a bag. Maybe you could totally carry everything in totes but that is about it!

So read this guys post:  http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/01/19/thank-god-i-wasnt-college-material/
He completely gets how college has become a money pit. A money pit that is going to take everyone in the next few generations down if we let it!

This is me standing up for something I believe in. Stop the madness!!! Go to college to become a doctor, architect, teacher, lawyer etc. The rest of you take a stand and do something you love.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Changing the World

Blog post #424 of 365

Changing the world.

It sounds good but nobody seems to know how it is done. At least until they really think about it and do something about it. And you thing one person can't make a difference. You're wrong.

The world is changed by having you in it. By choices you make. By actions you do or choose not to do.

A few weeks ago it was 'Pay It Forward' weekend. It happens every year. People pledge to do one or more acts of kindness that weekend to pay back the universe for kindnesses they have received throughout the previous year. Well I always make the pledge but the thing is I try to do one random act of kindness every day. Sometimes I am more successful than others but I try to do my part.

I think changing the world is about every person standing up for what they believe in without right fighting. We don't all have to have the same beliefs of values but we don't have to put down others to lift yourself up. In fact it is counter productive to stand in the way of others and you or I stand there on our pedestal.

Change happens when people put kindness first, when people are selfless. Change happens when people use their heads. Some of the most moving moments are when the innocent do the right thing because they don't know any other way. Showing how smart they are even when others may be way wiser or smarter. (I worked with the developmentally disabled and they are so sweet and just love to be kind.) Change happens when people are happy, when they move along with a smile or laughter. Change happens when people make others feel good about themselves, when they make them recognize the inner beauty everyone holds. Yup change is just that simple.

Change doesn't come from empty promises of politicians. It comes from people paying attention and making a stand without standing on or in the way of others... Lets change the world!



Friday, January 24, 2014

Fog

Blog post #423 of 365

It was a dark and foggy night...


Thursday, January 23, 2014

Hard Things

Blog post #422 of 365

"Nobody said life would be easy but nobody told us how hard it would be." This is what a young neighbor told me the yesterday. I gave him my blog link and he cracked up at my last post. Then he said he needed to call his mom. He is in his 30's maybe late 20's.

Part of our conversation had to do with the 'hardships' of being a grown up. He leaves the house sometimes as early as 3 in the morning to go to work. It works his tail off. he doesn't have a work ethic problem. He just has a demanding job. He is the boss, owns the company with a partner. But he was complaining a little about his employees. They sometimes want to start later in the morning. Can you blame them? 3 is way too early for most even grown people until they are like 80 and get up that early because they don't sleep anyway. Or because they go to bed at 7pm like my neighbor.

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard. Like apologies or following rules you don't agree with.

Sometimes it is hard to pray and sometimes it is hard not to pray.

Sometimes it is hard to lead but doing it is what needs to be done. Like when you are chosen as jury foreman.

Sometimes it is hard to keep trying. Especially after you have failed a time or two but you still need to try.

Sometimes is is hard to keep moving when you are hurting or discouraged but you must keep moving.

Sometimes it is hard to keep making mistakes that make you feel incredibly unqualified but the job needs to be done.

Sometimes it is hard to stop and take time for yourself, investing a little time will be worth it in the long run.

Sometimes grinding out the details is hard but having a plan will make life easier.

Sometimes when you are looking for answers it is hard to see the bigger picture and you might look like a fool for a moment but it will pass.

Sometimes fighting for what you believe in is harder that going with the flow but it is the right thing to do.

Sometimes you have to be kind to rude people and that is really hard.

Sometimes you have to push against the hard things but in the end you will be stronger for the fight.

Growing up is filled with hard things...

I started this on Sunday but I got other stuff stuck in my head and distracted by the music. I had to move past it but I came back. See the hard things sometimes seem so simple and easy.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

They Just Don't Mix

Blog post #421 of 365

So as I was making dinner I was also watching a little TV. I have seen this particular TV commercial before but tonight it just his me as very wrong.

It is a Special K challenge commercial. Apparently if you eat special K you will lose weight.Or so it says.

Well the better part of the commercial is this:















 Feet with buzz words. Short stubby toed feet. All but the last set of feet are cookie cutter feet (some are probably the same person with different colored toenails.) I wonder how long they had to look to find that many 'matching' feet? Honestly, I kind of find it off putting to have feet as the star of a food commercial.
 Oddly enough I like Special K. But it isn't because of the challenge or this commercial, that if for sure!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Music In My Head

Blog post #420 of 365

I have had music in my head for days. Not just one song rolling around and never leaving but many tunes coming and going. It is kind of cool because ever since I started with this allergy to smells singing has become an irritant. It makes me cough about 87% of the time. I always sang while I worked, showered, worked out, cleaned, drove etc. Now not so much now, so having the songs running through my head is a nice substitute.

Monday, January 20, 2014

People & Restrooms

Blog post #419 of 365

Commode, outhouse, porta-potty, Andy Gump, restroom, bathroom, loo, latrine, bush, rest stop, or toilet. Any shared place one can relieve themselves is shared but sometimes people forget that part. Even at home people sometimes leave the seat up. It happens I get that but in public you would think people would take extra care. You'd think, well I think they should.

I had a different blog started this morning then I went out. In an odd twist of fate I used three different public facilities. No I'm not sick and there is nothing wrong it was the situation. Really it was, because under ordinary circumstances I would simply wait until I got home. I always use the restroom before watching a movie because I don't want to have to leave during the movie. It distracts others and you never know what you might miss. (Jack Ryan exactly what I expected.) Then I had water while watching and so needed to go knowing I was making a few stops on the way home. It took longer than expected and well I couldn't wait to get home. Which as it turns out was a big bummer.

Okay so the first restroom was clean for the most part and there was an attendant making sure it was properly stocked and I believe ready to clean up. It was a quick stop and yet the first stall I tried using (many to choose from) had no latch and no out of order sign. I mentioned it needed a sign to the attendant and had to warn the person who followed me that it had no latch. Really the attendant should have said something, sigh. I had to try three stalls before I found one with toilet paper and seat covers in stock and no remaining urine or paper from the previous visitor. The second restroom visit was to a 'family' restroom. I hate using those because they tend to be frequented by groups of people but it was open and the regular ladies room was packed. It was clean-ish and stocked so that was good. The final restroom was gross. Every stall had remnants from the previous user, the paper towel dispenser and hand driers were not working. Lets just say it was unpleasant. All of these restrooms had automatic flushing systems so I don't really understand the remnants...

In all of the visits I was reminded of the post I wrote some time ago about self flushing toilets and I remembered  conversations with my brother in law from Australia who explained that restrooms in Australia always have a brush sitting next to the toilets which patrons are expected to use should they leaves some sort of skid mark in the bowel. He said nobody with any manners ever leaves the toilet seats wet or unflushed. As I used these restrooms I wondered at how people there had been really dirty and wondered how they treated their own restrooms, sigh. I'll go work on the blog I started earlier. I may not post it until tomorrow because I am making dinner and as soon as it is finished I am headed to the store... sigh.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Kidamony


Blog post #418 of 365

I went shopping yesterday. I hate shopping. I put it off until the last minute for a number of reasons. I won't list them but if you have paid any attention to my other blog posts you might have some idea. Putting it off meant I went to four different stores. It wasn't a bunch of fun.

While at my first stop as I was going up the isle I saw a lady and her young daughter arguing about what to purchase. The kid was whining that she needed organic items for her school lunches. Her mom was telling her she already had things at home to put in her lunch. Afterward as I was paying for my purchases I noticed the woman was also checking out just behind my checker. She was buying the items she and her daughter had been discussing. I also notices the little girl with a smug satisfaction and her requests went by. I guess I was hopeful for a little look of gratitude or something but that smirk was so off putting. I wish her mom had seen it.

At my third stop as I was checking out I hear screaming behind me. I didn't catch the entire exchange but I did hear the dad say, "Just give it to him so he'll quit yelling." It was a big bag of candy. Which was open and spilling everywhere before I was done checking out. The child obviously used this tactic often. He was probably three sizes larger than his frame could handle.

Then I come home and read a blog about giving kids everything they want. It was a random share by a Facebook friend. http://wearethatfamily.com/2014/01/what-really-happens-when-we-give-kids-everything-they-want/ After reading it it didn't feel so random.

I have a few friends and some family who have very spoiled children. They wear designer clothes and never want for anything. Or so it appears. I know for some it is grandparents and relatives who just spoil the kids but what will happen when the Grandparents aren't there anymore? Worse what will happen to these kids who never learned that money does not grow on trees when they grow up. Will they flounder and end up hooked on drugs as the blog suggested.

For decades kids have been getting participation awards, school accolades for attending, holding a 'B' average, and more. Kids gain a false sense of self esteem this way. They should be proud of what they have accomplished not praised for breathing. Kids are watching people on TV and on the computer become celebrities for being rich and spoiled. Or worse for being ignorant. No wonder they want more for nothing.

Parents are holding teachers and schools accountable when their kids bully others or fail out. Really, where is the accountability of the kids and the parents? What is going to happen to these kids when they one day wake up and find the world isn't just going to give them what they want? Oh right I forgot. When they walk on to the college campus their first week, there will be people handing out freebies to sign up for credit cards and the kids will jump at this new found freedom. They will end up graduating with a mountain of school loans and credit card debt. Okay so some will have mommy and daddy provide the college money and maybe even the credit card. I don't think it is a good idea but whatever.

These kids have come to believe they deserve the spoiling, the awards for doing nothing and the lazy lifestyle they have become accustom to. One day I would not be surprised if a kid didn't sue a parent for not properly preparing them for life. Call it Kidamony.

My kids had it rough. They had to help out. They knew if they made a mess they had to clean it up. They learned how to cook and clean and do laundry. They had chores to do. They didn't have designer labels or a free ride. They were expected to pitch in. They did volunteer work in the community from the very start and do you know what? They lived through it! Not only that they thrived. They learned to make do with what they had and really work hard for what they wanted. They learned that mom wasn't a push over. They learned the value of a dollar.

Do they make the best choices now? Not always. But they all have jobs. More than half have gone on to college and they are all contributing members of society. Am I mother of they year (ever)? Heck no! But did I do the best I could? Absolutely.

Now you might ask if I would have spoiled them if I had the means? Maybe a little is my honest answer. But they would have still volunteered in the community, worked for extras and really known they were loved, not by what I purchased for them but for what I instilled in them. The honest value of a dollar.

My kids still call me to help them with this or that. I'm okay with it. They ask because they know it or that I can help them figure it out for themselves. The best part is when we're done they say thanks mom and I know they mean it. In turn I am grateful for kids who work hard and know how to put others first.

Being a parent is hard and the job never ends. The best I can do is let them know they are loved and guide them when they need it.

May you never be the first parent to be sued for kidamony.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Parties Smell

Blog post #417 of 365

This week I stayed busy at home. There was some shopping that I had put off that could no longer be delayed. Well stores and people smell. They have soaps and scents most people never notice unless it happens to be the lingering gas of a passerby. Well I had four stores to hit and really made good time, two hours including drive time, yay! All of these smells trick my body/lungs into thinking they are being attacked. Rescue inhalers are my friend at this point.

So I get home get everything put away, laundry finished, lunches made and then remembered my neighbor's grandie turned one and they invited me to attend the party.

I wrapped the books, donned my mask and headed that way. There were about 30 people there already and they are decked out. The problem is I can smell every lotion, cologne, soap, hairspray, aftershave, dog and food odor. I saw the bounce house, the small mountain of gifts, Minnie mouse decorations and the delicious looking food. I could smell that too but unfortunately I have to remove the mask to eat. Also after finding daddy and his adorable little girl I had to give the gift, snap a photo and head out. Disappointing really.

After returning home I can smell the lingering scents of the few I hugged. I had to change clothes, wash my arms & hands twice and I can still get a whiff now and again. These allergies are so not fun. More rescue inhalers and I think I'm going to take a Benadryl. Bummer.

But here is our little birthday girl.

 And her daddy.





Friday, January 17, 2014

Draft Fog

Blog post #416 or 365

I am in a draft fog. I posted earlier about all the blog post ideas I have started and not completed. Yesterday I decided to finish a few. Along with housework, painting, running errands and all of the other normal stuff I do in a day. I can say three meals were prepared, two loads of laundry were completed, two errands were run, the floors in the kitchen & bathrooms were cleaned, dishes were done, counters cleaned, bathroom scrubbed, bandages were changed, sketches drawn, and several drafts were worked on but not one was finished. I need to just sit down and finish some of the shorter ones... Sigh. Maybe later.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Lone Survivor

Blog Post #415 of 365

Saw Lone Survivor with my son yesterday. I was one of the only women there. It was so good.

Ladies you need to have an open mind. It was moving, sad, intense, heartwarming, funny (in bits) and so worth the price of admission.

And to the guy outside the theater complaining about how there was no gratitude for the lives lost or the men and women who put their lives on the line in the service of their country, I think you missed the point! There was a slideshow of photos at the end of the men portrayed. It was beautiful and moving. Why wasn't he paying attention!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Pedestrians

Blog post #414 of 365

The other day while getting ready to pull out of my parking spot, I putting on my seat belt. I see a woman and a young teen walking into the mall. They passed me and stepped right in front of the car pulling out next to me. I'm in a van so I'm thinking someone couldn't see and the other wasn't watching where they were going. The kid got hit. Mind you the car was easing out, probably because they couldn't see around the van but I know the people saw them because they stepped behind the car which was already beyond the back of the van.

The kid kind of bounced off and hits my van on the rebound. My van isn't even on yet. The woman begins screaming that pedestrians have the right of way! Okay they technically do but if you're doing something reckless then how can you blame a driver. Needless to say she stepped behind the car and called the police who apparently were near by because they arrived in minutes. When they arrived the kid moved away from my van and I started it and slowly began easing out of my spot. The lady turns around and smacks my van, screaming, "You can't go anywhere, you are our witness!" Meanwhile I'm thinking, are you kidding me?

The policeman comes over and asks if I saw the incident. I explained what I saw, gave him my phone number and contact information and was then allowed to leave. Before he was done talking to me I told him I thought the kid was more at fault than the driver who likely couldn't have seen them coming. He kind of laughed and said he had to take the report to protect mine and the other driver from any frivolous lawsuits. Apparently the lady said she was going to sue the other driver for damages. What was she thinking? More importantly what was she teaching her kid? And why was her kid in a mall parking lot during school hours?

The policeman was kind enough to let both of us leave shortly after they arrived. I heard his partner talking to the kid and she said her mom had been hit before doing the same kind of thing and that she honestly didn't see the car because her mom was talking to her. The policeman whet on to tell the kids she needed to really watch out because the even though the pedestrian has the right of way they also carry the responsibility to be safe. He specifically said, "You wouldn't walk across the freeway without looking would you?" It made me laugh a little. I hope mom calmed down and nothing comes of it. I mean the kid bounced into my parked vehicle. How could I be liable? Sigh.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Drafts...

Blog post #413 of 365

I looked it up I have over 100 drafts. Meaning blog post ideas I have started but have yet to write...

I should address some of those.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Think Before Posting

Blog post 412 of 365

We tell our kids never to post photos of themselves in compromising positions. We tell them not to text half naked (or naked) photos of themselves. Those things linger forever. They might say, "But my boyfriend/girlfriend would never show it to anyone else." However we know that they will once they break up or they are if they happen to be a douche bag type.

As parents we know these compromising photos will eventually come back to haunt them. By possible future employers, by possible colleges and universities they may wish to attend or by their future spouse. I mean did your folks ever pull out the embarrassing photos of your youth. You were so adorable...

Well why are parents posting half naked (or naked), embarrassing, humiliating or otherwise compromising photos of their kids on the internet? In some cases they might seem innocent but is others they are just reckless behavior you would never allow your child to get away with.

Please consider how it might affect them before posting it. They might be funny or cute now but years from now will you still be laughing?

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Fibro Again

Blog post #411 of 365

If you don't have fibromyalgia and you are trying to understand it, good for you read on. There are a myriad of symptoms that don't seem to connect to one another and they fluctuate. That in and of itself is difficult to understand. It isn't in the sufferers head. It is very real and fully physical.

Because sometimes people need to see it more than once.

Fibromyalgia, I learned to spell it when I was finally diagnosed in the seventies. I made my doctor write it down then I tried to find out exactly what it was. Unlike other illnesses it didn't have an informational pamphlet. It made me a little nuts because there wasn't a reliable information. All the doctor really said was it would explain my pain, tender points and fatigue. There is way more to it that that, I can assure you.

Fatigue. It sounds like a good eight hours would totally fix that. But it isn't that simple. Replace fatigue with exhaustion. Like the kind you get with a bad case of the flu or the kind of exhaustion you get after staying up all night with a newborn for months at a time. Only when you have fibro you just don't get to rest you don't get to sleep like when you get the flu or when the baby sleeps so can you. Because with fibro you get tender points that make getting comfortable difficult if not impossible. You also get a myriad of sleep disorders.

Pain.  Everyone gets it right? Well with fibro your cells can send five times the pain signals. The cells might actually be sending pressure or itch signals but fribro interferes sends a faulty reading of pain instead of pressure or itch. All of a sudden your brain is filled with overloaded with sensations of intense actual pain. This pain is 'unexplained' pain, meaning there is really no origin, rhyme nor reason to when it will strike, where or for how long. IT isn't the kind of pain you can pin point, like smash your finger feel pain. More like how a little bump on the funny bone can send sharp pain through your whole arm. Imagine the doctor says, "You might feel a little pressure." Your cells send the information to your brain which now feels feels pain. Not the most fun party trick, that's for sure. In some cases you can push through the pain but more often than not you have to pay for it by adding more pain usually lasting much longer than seems fair. Fibro isn't fair.

The brain amplification isn't just for pain. It can intensify other sensations like light, noise, or odor. This overload of pain and amplified sound, light or smells can lead to confusion, anxiety, fear or panic attacks. Especially since logically you know your body is playing tricks on you but you can't control it. Like having somebody turn up the volume and then hide the remote.

Stress. Really how could you not have added stress knowing your body can turn on itself at any moment? It is like living handcuffed to a traitor.You don't want it but there is no key to set you free. We all know that stress can manifest in physical symptoms. Normal people feel a little stress and the body sends adrenaline and other hormones to help your body deal with it. People with fibro don't have enough of those hormones and that triggers symptoms. Anything that can throw off your hormones can trigger a fibro attack. (Yes, I said attack because that is exactly how it feels, like your body is under attack!) Worse is there are a ton of things that can bring on stress like deadlines, conflict, too much to do, illness, insomnia (sigh), injury or even not eating right. Including overeating, skipping meals, eating the wrong foods etc. No matter what the source of stress is the result is usually going to be pain.

Hopefully this helped you understand what the sufferer is going through but there is actually a little more to it. Fibromyalgia is always there. It is never cured. There is no magic pill, treatment or anything that can force it to go away. The symptoms can be so mild you don't see them. They don't interfere with the sufferers daily life then WHAM! Right out of left field you they are down for the count. I mean there are seemingly healthy people walking around with fibro. They work hard to lessen stress, eat right, exercise, and yet they can't do today what they did yesterday. Or they can do today what they couldn't do yesterday. This may cause some confusion for the people around them, especially for the people who rely on them. Think of fibro like you would blood pressure there are things we know will make it go up or down but then for reasons unknown their blood pressure rises or drops throughout the day or week or month or year. (I know a friend who has trouble once a month, I can imagine how difficult it will be when she hits menopause, sigh.)

There is pretty good research other here now that help those with fibromyalgia identify triggers and symptoms. The problem is not everyone with fibromyalgia has the exact same symptoms or the exact same triggers do so what works for some is likely not going to work for everyone. But we try. We may very well fail but then we try again.

There are people who know me who never knew or would never have guessed I have fibromyalgia. I don't announce it, Hello nice to meet you, I have fibromyalgia. I didn't tell anyone when I first discovered it because not many knew what it was. I don't normally tell anyone today because there are people who deny it exists but they have no clue. There is also that feeling of pity I don't really want or need. It does help to have support so every time I hear someone has it I do what I can to be supportive in any way I can, you should too.

The condensed version is fibromyalgia involves the nervous system and the brain. In other words it involves the every part of the body. Ask yourself what part of your body does not involve nerves or the brain? None right? Sigh. Fibromyalgia messes with everything, including the people around you. In most cases doctors treat the symptoms or the patient may self medicate. (I do not recommend or condone the self medication route... nothing but trouble there.) The symptoms and triggers vary from person to person but are very real. It isn't psychological, laziness, or hypochondria. It isn't a reason to whine and complain, although for some they may use it as such. (Most of us suffer in silence.) Fibromyalgia can take a productive, educated, ambitious person and turn them into what appears to be the opposite of everything you know about them.

Part of the information here originated from my own experience but I got help explaining from this article: http://chronicfatigue.about.com/od/whatisfibromyalgia/a/understandfibro.htm




Saturday, January 11, 2014

What's The Point Of A Cover If You Can't Judge By It?

Blog post #410 of 365

A young friend recently asked his mom, "What's the point of having a cover if you can't judge by it?" I thought about it and for a bit. I know the purpose of a book cover is to give you an idea of what is inside the book and entice people to look further. So a book is easy. It is perhaps even acceptable to judge a book by it's cover because that is what it is there for. However this young man was actually balking at a gnarled looking orange his mother was about to pack in his lunch for the day.

The other day I was doing a little running around and had an opportunity to see how judgement is easy and sometimes completely in error. Not far from our home on a fairly busy street traffic was coming to a halt at a stoplight. Just in front of me way a cyclist who had amazing legs, a tight pink and white cycling shirt with an over filled pouch on the back, gray hair and a shiny, long dangling earring. As the cyclist slowed I noticed the recklessness of the rider as they stopped a good bike length beyond the crosswalk. I judged this to be a healthy older lady, though in good shape, who might be better on a less busy street. As the light turned I discovered this healthy older lady was in fact a man with a big gut and a mustache. Boy was I wrong.

Later in my day I came up behind two more cyclist also is great shape. They appeared to be a couple with matching red, white and black attire and equally matching bikes. Both older, again with great legs, she had long wavy gray hair about 4 inched down her back and he had short cropped gray hair. Upon passing the fashionable cyclist couple I discovered the long hair belonged to him and the short cropped hair belongs to her. At least I got something right, one was a boy and one was a girl, sigh.

As I neared home I came upon the fourth cyclist who did not look to be in that great of shape. Larger legs and wide butt.Also in biking attire I decided not to guess a sex on this one because I was 0 for 3 at this point. Well as we approached the signal I noticed the biking attire had actually made this woman appear to be much wider than she actually was and on closer inspection she had well toned legs and a completely flat stomach. Now I was 0 for 4.

One last stop had me at the seven eleven on the corner where a sweet couple was discussing the purchase of bananas. The one guy wanted to buy a banana but the other guy was telling him the slightly green banana would be hard and not so good to eat. I showed him how the color was only slightly green and thought it wouldn't have that super ripe flavor of a fully yellow banana it was probably just fine. There were a few I'd never have purchased due to excess green color. As they exited the one guy was totally enjoying his banana and the other guy was shaking his head amazed that the banana inside the greenish exterior was in fact delicious.

My point in all of this is we all judge. Sometimes we get it wrong but we do judge. I honestly try not to judge but I think some things we expect to be a certain way and when it turns out to be different than anticipated I think we just need to go with the flow. As long as we keep an open mind we should be good.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Use Your Inside Words

Blog post #411 of 365

I remember when people first started using the phrase use your inside voices. Meaning to talk quieter and directly to the person you are trying to address and not an entire play yard of people all at once. It is a great idea.

I have noticed lately there are several over used words. Beautiful, awesome and epic among them. These words are often used to describe women and sometimes men. It is peculiar for me to see so many attractive, pretty or even ordinary looking women describe each other as beautiful, awesome or epic. Really odd for me. I have a bunch of really attractive friends, beautiful even but I read something a not particularly close friend wrote about women. He said, "I use words like awesome, kind, generous, humble, competent and so on when describing women." Okay I found the over used awesome a little off putting and think there would be few occasions to use competent (not that the women or men I know are not completely competent at stuff is just seems like an off handed 'compliment.') But it got me thinking.

Wouldn't it be nice if the descriptive words we use to describe people were actually complimentary? They might be compliments fit for the situation or general if meant in a general way but they shouldn't they in some way at least try to be a compliment if possible. Going back to that old Thumper line, "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." I have known many mean vicious and even evil people in my life but honestly I can find something nice to say about even the most vile humans. Hard but not impossible.

I appreciate compliments based on my insides way more than my outsides. Looks based compliments feel a little hollow and kind of easy. Given without much thought.

Give it a try. When you give your next few compliments make them about the inside, the character, integrity, honestly, loyalty, intellect, kindness etc. Your inside words will have a much greater impact than nice smile or you're cute would.




















Thursday, January 9, 2014

Getting Older

Blog post #410 of 365

Getting older is not for the weak or timid.

I am watching my mom and older friends & neighbors get older. I mean like late 70's to 110 older. They are all having health issues of one kind or another. They all fall asleep at all ours of the day and night. One neighbor complains she can't sleep past five am but she is dead asleep every night before seven pm. How could anyone sleep past five going to bed that early.

Recently I have noticed that the number of ailments is staggering for some but not too terrible for others. How can that be? I mean some of the 'healthiest' people are suffering as bad as or worse than the others. I have also noted that some complain a bunch more than others.

So I have made the decision to be the best I can be, no matter what is ailing me. This takes effort. This is a choice. I am getting older too and I want to do it with as much grace as possible.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Better

Blog post # 409 of 365

I am on a quest to be better, do better, live healthier and hopefully good things will come my way.

So far I am keeping pretty strongly to my 2014 goals! Yay me.


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Tears

Blog post #408 of 365

There are so many kinds of tears. Those of anger, frustration, sadness and fear I can do without but some are worth getting wet and nose slimy for.

First are tears shed in laughter. You know those ones that leak out as you are laughing your head off.

Then there are tears shed for the things that take your breath away. You know when you hear a story or triumph or love.

And finally tears of joys. Those moments that are so special even your tear ducts can't hold back.


Monday, January 6, 2014

On Death and Living

Blog post #407 of 365

I am not afraid of death. My belief in a here after helps me know I will return to the loving arms of those who have gone before me.

Sadness however fills me at the thought of the day I will no longer be here with those who love me here. It is that being in more than one place at a time challenge. I am guessing there is an ability to feel those who have passed afterward as they watch over us. However feeling their presence isn't the same as hugging them or talking to them just one more time. That thought pushes me to make an effort to hug often and well,to say what is in my heart no matter what.

After I leave this life please don't go nuts. I don't want hoopla. I don't want tears unless they are of the joys we shared. I don't want regret for the things we should have done together or said to each other. Because I am making a strong effort to connect with people who are that important to me. You should too. Mend fences, hug when you have the opportunity because regrets will tear at you!

Don't stick me in an over priced coffin and bury me in a plot in the field with a bunch of other decaying dead people. They charge a ton just to dig the hole and fill it in. Then there is the big cement liner involved and why? The grave marker will cost another arm or leg and you might feel compelled to have to place some cut flowers or potted plant there from time to time or worse ignore that over priced death memorial. I don't want that.

Cremation or donation are the only options I feel comfortable with. If my body is donated and goes to good use by some medical student or crime students in a body farm cool! What better gift could I give after I'm gone. Also if there are any good parts left feel free to harvest those and pass it on to someone who needs it. Otherwise just cremate me and spread the ashes about. A little in the mountains, some in the ocean, some in the yard, a little handful in Disneyland... if you could. Then when my loved ones go witness the power of the ocean know I am happily there. Or when you look up at or hike in the mountain know I am there as well. My spirit will never be far from Disneyland. I love the happiest place on Earth.

I know there are some who want the monument. Some who wish for tears and mourning but I'm not that way. Don't go to that expense. Don't mourn me after I am gone. Remember me. Keep me with you and carry me in your heart. In your memories I will always remain.




Sunday, January 5, 2014

2014 Goals

Blog post #406 of  365

One of my friends posted a list of goals for 2014 on her social media page. Well, she re-posted a list of goals to do daily that was going around and the list got me thinking. These are some pretty good goals. Here is my twist on the list and my thoughts on how I can attain these goals for myself this year. (How long again until something becomes a habit?)

It began with feeding my soul. I believe this can be attained by finding something every day that either inspires, uplifts or is new. Like listening to a new artist, band or song even, reading scriptures or poetry or a good book, enjoying a new place or person should work.

Then on to laughter. This one should be easy because I have a twisted sense of humor and find myself laughing every day at every day things or in some cases I seek out laughter every day.

The next is to be mindful. To me it means pay attention. This is also something I try to do every day. Some days more successfully than others but because I try it happens often. I like to think about how to see things from another's perspective. Caring for my kids, friends, and family members has helped me to become more keenly aware of perspective and therefore more mindful.

On to being creative. Well that is me. I mean I have had to be creative for as long as I can remember. Especially as a single parent for many years raising five kids kinda. It kind of makes ya have to think outside the box a little. Not to mention I make most gifts I give because it means more and shows I put some thought into the gift.

This next one might be a little difficult for me, pamper myself in practical ways. Well the practical ways part I have down because I am too logical not to be practical but I have never been into pampering myself. Well maybe in allowing myself time to read or meditate or nap? I'll have to think this one through a little more I think. If you have any ideas please feel free to send a comment...

Sigh, to move every day (aka exercise). I was so good at this. Really me who never thought exercise could be a part of life she would enjoy did. For over a year then I had a car accident and it became less of a daily habit. I will have to work hard on the daily part with this one. Having fibro makes it tough but I will stretch and do yoga on those really bad days. (That counts right?)

Loving unconditionally has become a way of life for me. I understand that love isn't love if there are strings attached. But I think I will combine mindfully loving unconditionally to this one. That will allow me to fulfill this list!

Listening to my thoughts and creating new ones. For this last one I will be journaling my thoughts beyond this blog with an actual pen & paper. I promise to check in monthly to keep myself on my toes.

For someone who does not believe in resolutions I figure a list of goals should work out much better!

Saturday, January 4, 2014

The Blessing of Friendship

Blog post #405 of 365

I have a lot of friends. Some I've known for most of my life while others I've known less than a year.

I have been disappointed in some from time to time but it matters not. I mean who really is flawless. Not me so how can I expect my friends to be flawless.

Mostly however my friends inspire me and challenge me to be my best self, to be more creative, to read things I might not have ever known about, to see things from a different perspective, to appreciate what I have, to love deeply without conditions or restrictions and to accept that flaws happens.

I really do have great friends. For that blessing I am always grateful.



Friday, January 3, 2014

Taking Down Christmas

Blog post #404 of 365

I am one to decorate for Christmas Thanksgiving weekend. Not with a live tree. That can wait or in recent years I have had a fake or potted tree. I love trees in the ground but not dead and drying out in my home. (Needles everywhere, smells that make me cough and a fire hazard is not my idea of Christmas fun.) I love nativities, huge ornaments hanging from my porch eves, festive Santa paintings & figures, tree lights and ornaments!

I was one to have the tree and all remnants of Christmas cleaned up, boxed up and put away Christmas night or the day after but recently I have discovered the fun of letting Christmas stay just a few more days. This year Christmas came down on January first. Bringing in the new year with a clean slate seemed the perfect choice.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Let It Out

Blog post #403 of 365

Internalizing isn't good. Sometimes life doesn't go smoothly. Sometimes crap happens that really get under your skin. When it happens sometimes you just need to let it out. No good can come from pretending everything is okay, normal, perfect. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect so pretending it is won't make things better. It isn't good for your health.

So let it out.

Okay I'm not saying go postal or even to whine on social media. I'm saying not to take it out on yourself or those around you. Write it down, go to a secluded place or turn up the radio and scream it out (not while driving or at an ungodly hour though), vent to a friend who will forgive you later or get creative and think of a different productive way to get it all out of your system. Leaving it in will poison you, make you surly or fatten you up. Don't do that. Love yourself more than that.


Wednesday, January 1, 2014

December 2013 Quotes

Blog post #402 of 365

"When walking through hell, just keep walking." Me

"It is impossible to reach for something new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk." Jimbo

"Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation of all abundance." Eckhart Tolle

"Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is." Marianne W via Kerry

"The cruel words of one are nothing compared to the shouts of many." Jennifer Livingston 'fat' news anchor

"Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must but take the step." Emily T

"Does anyone one know the three quickest forms of communication are telegraph, telephone and tell a woman!" Jimbo

"Hope is the best gift." Me

"You can't chase happiness. You find it where you are." Markie Post

"Wash your hands and say a prayer cause God and germs are everywhere." Katrina

"The more I like myself, the less I am affected by the opinions of others." Richard

"I think if you have two FBs and they are both you but with two different names it is almost okay. But when you use both daily and then comment from one to the other it is just nuts! I think that's sad... People have taken talking to themselves to a whole different level." Ashlynn

"When following the heart bring the brain!" Kathi

"Gratitude turns what you have into enough." Sandra B

"Sometimes opening your eyes is the most painful thing to do." Kat

"Choosing hope means anything is possible." Kat

"Politically correct: A term used for whiny, overly sensitive pansies, who need everything sugar coated for them." Steve T

"Memories aren't found in things, they are found in people, things and places just remind you." Neil

"Looking for love is like looking for your keys. Quit looking and they just magically appear." Me

"Forgetting is 90% of happiness." AI

"In appreciation for the greatness in what you are building every day when no one sees." Karen DLF

"When you build something that no one will ever see it still means something." Karen DLF

"I see you. Even if no one else may notice I do." Karen DLF

"Let your work stand as a monument to a greater God." Karen DLF

"I am not something flawless in the eyes of society, or even close to what I once was physically, but my perfect girl sees me for who I am... she knows my heart. She knew it long before we met. I was ruined by the world before I knew her & she made me whole again." weseekjoy. blogspot ruined body post