It is Your Story to Tell

Blog post #426 of 365

I blog. I journal. I have lived my own life. I don't need anyone else telling my story. Unfortunately sometime others will. Do you trust them to get it right. That said let me tell you where this is coming from. Yup, another story.

First a little back story. My mom has a lot of doctor appointments. She has a lot of things wrong and a doctor for each body part. She has excellent insurance and could have everything wrong with her fixed or maintained very easily but she is stubborn and refuses to understand a little fix here will stave off other things like pain or rashes and she likes to cheat on her diet among other things. She has had hammer toes for a very long time and unfortunately one had gotten infected and eventually the infected toe led to an amputation a few months back. For years she has complained of toenail pain when she walks. Well after loosing a toe she decided to get "horribly painful" hammer toe repair surgery. Her friend had had her toes fixed many years ago and said it was the worst pain you can ever imagine. (You shouldn't have to get to the point of amputation before you decide do the right thing no matter how painful someone tells you it is going to be.) That is part of her story.

On an after surgery toe check we were traveling home. I said, "Gosh I wish my insurance was better. I'd have him remove my ingrown toenails." (I have had them 'fixed' before but it didn't work.) She interrupted saying, "I have those too and they are mighty sore." I told her she should get them fixed then. She went on to say she had enough surgery and she didn't want more. (Broken record.) I told her that was up to her but if they were as bad as mine she would get them done. As I began to tell her mine were keeping me up at night. She didn't even let me finish the sentence before she interrupted again telling me I have no idea how painful they are and that I shouldn't even compare them to hers. Really just let me say my peace.

Admittedly, I don't know how painful hers are or not nor could she possibly know how painful mine are either. I do know she has diabetic neuropathy and didn't even feel the infection in her foot prior to the amputation but I also know her toenail pain is something she often complains about.I'm not sure how that works. The thing is she just always has to one up me. Her pain is worse, her cold is worse, her allergies are worse, etc. Just once I'd love for her to hear me out. Let me finish without interruption. Maybe that is why I blog and journal.

On Sunday I had some people from church over to give my mom a blessing. I believe in the power of prayer. As they were here they did her blessing then when on to talk a little. Then she was telling them I had lived in a specific town. They then assumed I grew up there. I said I was born when we lived there but moved before I was two. She scowled at me. Really if you are going to give people my life story at least speak the facts of it or let me tell my own story. The subject got a little awkward then she changed the subject. Going on about how the neighborhoods had changed through the years and mentioned some stuff she lived through. Her story finally! One of the men said, "Your journals must be full of interesting stuff." She admitted she doesn't journal or anything. He looked and me and said, "You should video tape her stories." After they left she said, "You are not video taping me." I'm old and wrinkled and I don't want people to remember me that way."

Back in the early 90's I was a caregiver for my grandfather before he passed away. He spent a little over a year with our family after his second wife passed away. There had been some bad blood in the family so it was awkward for some. Not for me. He was my grandfather and there was much I wanted to know. He never wrote anything down either. But we had some really long talks. Things I wanted to know and stuff that needed clarity. After he passed I discovered paperwork that verified some of what we talked about that could not be denied. If I don't write it down some of his story, it may never be heard. That would be a shame. I think I'll do just that.

The video thing isn't good for my mom for her own insecurities about her looks. However people will remember you how they saw you last or how they saw you most. They will remember you by their memories of you unless you have written down your story. Tell your story. Write stuff down. Even a daily log of the boring stuff will mean something to people down the road. A highlights reel of the funny, good, silly stuff is even better. I don't think she will but maybe I will jot down the stuff she says so one day someone will be able to look back on it. But if you have a chance write stuff down yourself. It is your story to tell.