Lost Too Young

Blog post #88 of 365

I read this on a friends blog and it just seared a hole in my heart. I luckily have never experienced the loss of a child but I have know too many young people whose lives were cut way too short.

“An Early Goodbye,” written by Janice Kapp Perry 

There is pain in an early good bye.
There are so many dreams you set aside.
So many memories to cause you pain, so many plans to change.
There is pain in an early goodbye.
There are so many times you question why,
so many feelings you must deny, so many tears you cry.
There are so many things I wanted to say,
so many reasons I hoped you could stay.
I loved you completely I have no regrets, but I just wasn't ready yet.
So I'll cry a little bit,
and I'll die a little bit and I'll try with all my heart to make some sense of it.
And there's only one power to lean upon,
there's only one reason that I can go on.
I believe in the wisdom of God.
He ruleth the seasons, He fails us not.
This kind of sorrow He too has known.
I do not walk alone.
There is nothing, and no one to blame.
And there's no use in thinking what might have been.
I would have kept you through life's short span, but God had a different plan.
So I'll pray for the day when sorrow will cease,
pray for the day when I know perfect peace.
I'll find courage to make it somehow, but I'm feeling so lonely now.
So I'll cry a little bit,
then I'll try a little bit and I'll trust in God above to make some sense if it.
Then my eye will be single to one bright star,
to live my life worthy to be where you are.
But today it's not easy, today I may cry,
so if you see a tear in my eye, it's the pain of an early goodbye. 
(Thanks Kat)

I have known too many young people who have passed too soon. I have to believe you were needed elsewhere and were pulled away for a greater deed. But you are missed.

Young or old loss is hard. Grief is tough. I don't care who you are. It will hit everyone differently and we all react to it in a way we decide not some generalized way. Grief isn't for sissies.

They say time heals and I believe it does. I also know that just when you think your grief is over and done, even way over and done, grief can sneak up on you and smack you on the back of the head. Knock your knees out from under you. Blindside you. It doesn't make sense but it doesn't have to. It is okay to grieve. Grieve however it suits you.

I don't think love and grief are measured the same way. I believe they are separate and should never be compared.

I rarely cry at funerals. Don't judge me. I cry at odd and usually inopportune times.

I believe we live forever. Meaning our spirit is forever. Our bodies break down and that is okay. So when I die have a little celebration. Smile at my mistakes. Understand my quirks and laugh about them. I do so why shouldn't you? I know you will get sad but be sad because we are apart for a time. Please don't mourn. I'll see you again some day. 

One more thing don't visit my grave. Remember me when you ride Thunder mountain or Space mountain at Disneyland. My favorites. Remember me when you see a stunning sunset or sunrise. I love those. Remember me when you hear laughter or music because I love those too! Don't put flowers out. Donate the money to something I believe in like finding a cure for one of the many diseases I hate. Or give to a homeless shelter or a food bank. Make your memories of me count for something. Flowers on my grave are a waste. Plant something in your yard. Something you can eat. That would be the best tribute for me. Something that can live on and feed your soul. Those are the ways I will remember you. I will always remember you. Just because I don't go hang around your grave doesn't mean your memory isn't any less cherished. You mean something to me and one day I will see you again.