Father's Day and Fatherhood

Blog post #212 of 365

I am writing this at the end of father's day. A day I have mixed feelings about for a number of reasons.

Moms have their day and fathers get theirs. Moms usually frown on practical gifts and during the weeks before mother's day the ads are for jewelry, clothes and perfume. For father's day there is a barrage of ads for tools, practical gifts. I know the male and female brains are wired a little differently but I think it sends a bad message. One that dad is useful, fixes things and that mom does so much she deserves to be pampered. I think there should be practical gift sales for mom and things to pamper dad on sale for him too.

The average dad is the 'bread winner.' He gets up Monday through Friday and does his best to provide for his family. He comes home in the evening to relax and recharge for the next day. The weekends are spent in any number of ways. Some golf, some fish, some do the yard, but some the good ones do a little more.

The good ones come home from work and play a little ball or help with homework or do something to spend quality time with their kids and if they are a really great father they spend time with their kids and their wife. The good ones show by example that life is more than working and relaxing. I'm not saying relaxing isn't needed I'm just saying the good dad's don't disengage.

I did not have that kind of father. Unfortunately I did not choose my former spouse well either. My best father figures were not my father. I had two pretty spectacular grandfather's who I did not see often. However I had friends who had pretty awesome dads who were willing to share. Luckily I had a pretty good stepdad who showed love in a myriad of ways. (He wasn't perfect but he was pretty cool.)

When my husband left I tried to make sure my kids knew they were loved. I tried to stay engaged. I tried to show them the things their dad should have. Sometimes I wonder if I could ever have been enough for them but I did what I could. I promise I did but I was ill prepared. I did make sure there were men who were a good example to them, shared dads if you will.

Two of my son's are dads. The kind of dads who change diapers, walk the floors with sick babies, cook meals, teach, tease, play and try to show by example how to be good humans. I look and their children and I am in awe. I know they are loved, cherished, and cared for. As a result I have some pretty awesome grandchildren. Thanks boys. You chose good women and you are actively being a dad. What more can I ask!

So there you have it. Those are my thoughts on fatherhood and a day to honor them.