Turn pockets

I’m having issues with turn pockets. Cities have gone to raised road dividers with hardscaped (a center divider with curbs on either side, usually with some sort of landscape in between the curbs). They have their problems.

One problem is maintenance. It seems like for some the bushes are scraping our cars before someone comes to trim them. They are often too small for a standard mower so weedeaters are used instead of mowers. These weedeaters usually toss pebbles and bits of debris at vehicles as they pass. The probability of them being "mowed" as I pass is in direct proportion to my window being in the down position. The maintenance personnel use cones as a buffer to protect themselves from passing vehicles being dangerously close which I understand but they block the turn lane altogether. There is also the types of plants placed in these hardscapes. Some have strongly smelling plant life that cause the allergies to flair up while others have trees that quickly grow too large for the space and require the roots to be trimmed and the curbs to be repaired or replaced over and over.

The second problem is the tendency for these pockets to be really tiny allowing very few vehicles to actually enter the turn pocket before it becomes blocked by vehicles going straight.

Lately I’ve noticed the trend to make the hardscaped dividers narrower along with all of the lanes until there is enough space to make it a two lane turn pocket. The problem with this idea is they are still too short to allow vehicles inside before being blocked by those going straight. Lately it often takes one or more frustrating lights just to enter the two lane turn pocket and one more frustrating light to actually make the left turn.

I’m sure some genius spent a lot of time designing this new two lane turn pocket but they didn’t think it through very well. What were they thinking?

Soul Mate

It bugs me when people say they have met their soul mate. That they have found the one person they are supposed to spend the rest of their life with. I do believe that love can last forever. I do believe that some people fit together well. But only one I’m not so sure.

I believe there are soul mates. People whose souls touch, match, and belong or what have you. I believe that friendships and loves can be soul matches but I also believe people can be blinded by love and jump in too quickly to know if the match is real and lasting.

The problem I have with the idea of a soul mate is in believing there is one person meant for one person and none other in the world. If that were true what are the chances of these two individuals meeting at the right time in the right circumstance. I’d say it is pretty slim or even never. If you never meet your “soul mate” does that mean you remain alone for life? What if you meet the perfect match but are not aware until it’s too late or you meet too late to have the match work. For instance if you were to meet after you or they are married to someone else. That would negate the idea of one and only one true love. What happens when you loose a spouse. Does that mean you will never have love again?

I believe you meet people through your life that you connect with on a level more deep than a casual acquaintance, on a level deep down to your soul. I believe that souls connect. But I also believe that some of those connections are meant to be lasting friendships and not simply the love of our life.

I have a few friends, both male and female who are connected to my soul. People who get me and love me no matter what, and who I get on that same level. Those are the people in my life who know me so well they understand me before I even have to explain myself. The kind of friend I may not see or hear from for long periods of time but can catch up with in a matter of minutes. The kind of friend who I can talk to for hours and never ever run out of topics or things to laugh about. I feel fortunate and blessed to have known and loved these people. I know I am loved and it is a good feeling.

I have been married twice and both times I can say I loved them. However I can also say I understand why it didn’t work and why we aren’t together anymore. Am I looking for the one true love? Nope! For me love will happen when it’s ready. I am old enough to recognize love when I experience it and smart enough to enjoy the opportunity should it arise. May everyone find love at least once in their lives and have as many “soul mates” as they connect with.

Shades of Gray

There are rules that everyone should live by. Like the golden rule; do unto others as you would have them do unto you or the be attitudes of GBH “Be Grateful, Be Smart, Be Involved, Be True, Be Still, Be Humble, Be Clean, Be Positive, Be Prayerful” (not to be confused with the beatitudes Matthew 5:3-12 and Luke 6:20-26 although a very cool Bible passages) and the Moses tablets AKA the ten commandments.

I believe in right and wrong and in following the rules.

There are some rules that are absolutes in this world. It is always right to do your best. It is always wrong to do intentional harm to others. It is always right to love with your whole heart. It is always wrong to murder.

There are some rules that are more of a guideline and up for interpretation. You don’t have to agree with me but I believe everyone should understand intent of the rule. It is important to follow the spirit of the law as opposed to the letter of the law.

You can call these shades of gray if you want. Just remember the darker the gray the darker the offense and the less likely you are to be following the spirit of the law let alone the letter of the law.

Christmas

I love Christmas. I mean I really love Christmas. Celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, making and keeping family traditions, and giving of ourselves.

I confess, I hate shopping. I hate the crowds, the commercialism, the parking and the grumpy feeling I get when I can't find what I need. However I love giving gifts. My favorite is when I am lucky enough to find one that yells out, "I BELONG TO _________!" Hopefully before you have already purchased a gift for that person.

The truth is the gifts I love giving most are the ones I have made. I have made Christmas presents my whole adult life. I wonder sometimes if I make presents because my mother and grandmother made presents. I'm not sure why more people don't make gifts. Maybe it has to do with lack. Lack of time, lack of self confidence, lack of creativity or maybe a combination. Whatever the reason I think we should at least try making a gift from time to time, if for no other reason than to build our talents and to show the people we love that we love them enough to give them a part of ourselves.

I was taught by my Heavenly Father that service is the best gift of all. So if you can't figure out something to make maybe you can figure out something to do for them. Either way there is no better gift than to give of oneself. Maybe this year you can do a little of both. I know I am!

"Fine" The Big Fat Lie

The word "Fine" is defined as - a freedom from impurity - very thin in gauge or texture, not coarse, very small, keen, very precise or accurate, physically trained - delicate, subtle, sensitive, distinct - superior in kind, quality or appearance, excellent - ornate - very well, all right.

Someone you know walks up to you and asks, "How are you doing?" and you automatically say, "Fine." Someone you don't know (check out clerk, bank teller, server, police officer, firefighter, sales associate, etc) asks, "How are you doing?" and you usually say, "Fine." You go to your doctor who asks, "How are you doing/feeling?" and you almost automatically say, "Fine."

Fine is not always fine. In fact it can more often than not be a big fat lie. The truth is does the asker really want to know how you are doing/feeling? I would say no. I would say they like you and I are making small talk, trying not to be rude or establishing a relationship to further converse on the subject at hand.

The truth is that an automatic "Fine" answer is in some ways causing more harm than good. We don't want to burden people with the truth - "I'm tired." "I'm in pain." "I'm frustrated." "I'm angry." "I'm discouraged." "I'm a little lonely." We don't want to bring others down. We don't want pity. We don't want them to feel bad because they might be helpless to change things. But why not be honest? Especially if the person we are talking to we may never see again or better yet the person may be able to console us or lift us up. Wouldn't the Lord want us to allow others to help lift us up?

The worst is when I take my mom to the doctor and her pattent answer of "Fine." In a way the answer negates her getting the help she might need. If you are going to answer fine to a doctor don't expect him or her to take you seriously when you tell the truth about your ailments, pain, new symtoms etc. It has become a pet peeve of mine. Be honest with the doctor!

Better yet the next time someone/anyone asks, "How you are doing/feeling?" try being honest. I am not saying burden people I am just saying be honest. For instance "I've been better." Works for any kind of bad day or ailment and doesen't burden the asker or shut down the conversation. But if you are having a good day share the goodness. If you are happy say so. Why hide behind "I'm fine."? I just don't see why of all the lies we could or should tell we choose to pick "I'm fine."

Yes, I believe sometimes a lie by omission is a good thing. I don't believe it is a good thing to hurt feelings just for the sake of being honest. Like when answering does this make me look fat? Chances are the question was a fishing trip for a compliment.

Fine is not always fine... sometimes it is a big fat lie!

Movie Genre Or Not

There are five basic kinds of movies - kids, family, teen, guy and chick flicks. Kid movies are geared to kids usually without regard to the parents that will attend these movies with their kids. Family movies are like kid movies but have a little more regard for the parents and tend to have humor at more levels than that of a third grader. Teen movies tend to have a more adult theme but with crass humor. Guy movies are filled with action tend to have more gore and be a little more explicit. Chick flicks are generally more romantic even to the mushy side and every chick flick has a relationship (dating/marriage/friendship etc.) involved.

Genre is a little different than the kinds of movies I listed above. There are a ton of genre - western, thriller, gore, documentary, action, adventure, mystery, romantic, drama, war, porn, cult, silent, comedy, sappy tearjerkers, animation and probably a few I am forgetting. Many of these genre combine to make a different kind of movie all together. A classic chick flick is the combination of romantic & comedy, classic guy flicks combine action & adventure, classic kid flicks are generally animated & comedy, while family movies usually take the edge off and combine the more adult versions of comedy, adventure, mystery etc. geared not to offend anyone particular age group.

Recently there have been movies that combine genres in a non traditional way that make them fall into more than one kind of the movies listed in paragraph one. One combination in particular I find completely amazing is that of action/adventure and romantic/comedy. As a fan of guy and chick flicks they are the perfect combination of both kinds of movies. Making them the best movies for me!

Bet you can tell I'm a movie fan.

Today I watched a movie review TV program. I usually never agree with the reviewers but sometimes I find them entertaining. They also tell me about movies not in my area or not out yet or that I may not have given a chance because I didn't know about them. All good reasons to watch but as I get older I am finding them less and less entertaining or informative. Today was especially frustrating since they spent a while bashing my new favorite kind of movie. Maybe it is because movie reviewers are generally men and tend to bash the romantic comedy anyway. So to all the movie reviewers out there who agree that a romantic/comedy and action/adventure can't be combined think again. There is a place for movies that fall outside the box. I'm thinking the perfect date movie!

Grandchildren

Maybe the title should be grandsons because at this point I only have boys. I expect that to change one day but not too soon.

I have heard the saying, "If I knew how much fun grandchildren were I'd have had them first." In a way I get it but I don't agree. I adore my grandsons. I love spending time with them. Watching them grow and change is so wonderful. I enjoy finding the cute clothes, the best toys and great books for them.

When I watch my son with his sons I know I would never want to miss that part of being a grandparent. He adores them. He watched everything the nurses did to them from the moment they arrived till he and his wife took possession of their sons. He guarded them to make sure nothing bad happened to them. No unwanted moves, pokes or shots. He asked a ton of questions. The nurses were probably just wanting him to go sit with his wife.

This week my second grandson arrived. He is so adorable but I expected as much since he looks a lot like his brother who is so very cute. As I waited to meet my new grandson his brother stood guard at the nursery window pointing out his brother to every passerby. If they were not watching he got louder and more animated to make sure everyone saw his new brother.

I can't wait to watch them for the next few years turn in to the wonderful little men they will be. Will they continue to look similar? Will they be competitive? Will they play well together? All of those questions and more are swimming through my head this week. I also look forward to seeing how their parents parent. Will they do well? Will they do better than I did? I can only hope for the best and pray for them all.

I love my grandchildren.