Better Than They Were

Blog post #162 of 365

The human brain is so amazing. We forget and we remember in a way we are comfortable with...

I had five kids. Four natural childbirths. One of those natural childbirths eventually came with a pain shot at the end but she was my biggest baby. One cesarean section. All of them painful and traumatic I'm sure but all I really remember were the events of each day and the beautiful children that entered the world on those days.

Recently, when my sister visited, there were many time our youth, our childhood and our lives in general were brought up. More so since her new husband was visiting as well and it was his first visit to the States. (They live Australia.) Our memories are different. Some events remembered similarly others so different I wonder if we grew up in the same house. (We did I assure you.) Many times I just bit my tongue and rolled my eyes because it is better than arguing over stupid stuff.

Politicians are running for office they glorify their "accomplishments" even if they had little to do with said "accomplishments." They take credit for things they didn't do, didn't finish or didn't happen. They sugar coat every event. They vilify the opponent and all just to get elected. When we go to the polls our brains help us remember the 'good stuff' they campaigned with or we remember the bad stuff they said about the other guy one way or another we vote for the name we remember most or the one we believed better or the name we recognize most. Rarely do we vote for the best candidate. (Come on be honest did you really know any of the judges or councilmen etc you voted for. Those guys put up signs in your neighborhood or maybe ran an ad or two but mostly you have no idea who they are other than the little you heard or read that they (or their campaign manager) wrote about themselves.

During a test most people rarely remember all of the materials. If we did everyone would get an 'A' every time. Truth is they have done studies and you are more likely to put down an answer that 'sounds' right in your brain even if you don't remember the answer for sure. One of my professors proved that point well when he put down one famous name in the multiple choice answers and people actually bubbled in James Dean, Eddie Murphy, and Margaret Thatcher. Really who wouldn't recognize those names as famous people and not teaching theorists or psychologists or what not? Apparently 30% of our class. Really 30%. I am happy to say I wasn't one of the 30%.

After people pass away they are remembered fondly. Even a school bully or awful administrator is mourned with love and kindness. Am I the only one who remembers the mean and nasty behavior the the mean kid that died very young? Am I the only one that remembers the hoards of teachers transferring to different schools prior to her death? Okay we are told not to speak ill of the dead but that doesn't mean glorify them either. "I loved him/her" "We will miss him/her" isn't really appropriate in these cases.

People put up ten year old photos on the internet because they looked younger, duh! They were thinner, had less gray or more hair or whatever. We need to learn to love the humans we are. Bask in the you that you are or work to become the you that you want the world to remember.

Let's face it when we are gone we would all like to be remembered better than we were.