Old Lady in the Mirror

Mom never looks in the mirror. She says she has no idea when it happened but when she looks in the mirror there is an old lady she does not know looking back at her. She says she doesn't see herself in that way, I didn't understand then or now even. She was about forty when she got ill and her hair went gray. Through the years since then her hair has darkened while the lines on her face have deepened. To me theses are signs that she has progressed from mother, to grandmother and even great grandmother.

When I look in the mirror I see myself. My face has lines, my hair has a hint of gray but I have lived long enough to earn each line & strand of gray hair. I'm not saying I like them and sure I wish there were fewer of both however they are mine. They are a part of me. A part of who I am.

We can't change gravity or time. Some may find they will go to the knife to fix the physical flaws they see while others would have no part of it. Some have no choice but to accept the changes. I for instance have no money for a face lift but I'm not sure I would go under the knife for vanity's sake anyway.

When people look at their reflection often what is seen is deeper than our skin and hair. The problems arise when we don't accept who we are. I think when we look in the mirror it is paramount to be happy with who we are. I know when I am having a hard day I tend to be more critical of the image I see. Depression, stress and anxiety add to the changes that come naturally also making it more difficult to accept these physical changes. My well being depends on the things I have control of and the choices I make. There are things in the world I can't change and I accept that. In short my well being depends on me. When I look in the mirror I want to recognizing the aging image. I want to know who I am beneath the image and be happy with what/who I see.

After writing this I kind of understand where Mom is coming from but when I look at her I am reminded of her mother and how wonderful she was. I know Mom and her mom both earned every line and every wrinkle. For the days, weeks, and months to come Mom and I will work on getting healthier and hopefully that will help her gain a little better perspective of the image in her mirror and learn to love the old lady in the mirror. Maybe one day she will see the beautiful woman everyone else see.