Raising Children

Blog post #91 of 365

Recently I heard someone say there is no right or wrong way to raise children. Oh my goodness they must be kidding themselves. There are a lot of right and wrong ways to raise children. The mistake for most is believing their way is the "only" way.

I believe there are many kinds of families and many kinds of kids within the family.

I gave birth to five children. I have had a hand in raising many more in one way or another. I love everyone of them. Each one had their own quirks and intricacies. They each had their own challenges and talents. Each one is a unique individual. How can you parent them all the same way? I had to figure it out as I went along. I made huge mistakes. I was flawed as a parent but I did the best I could at the time with the information I had. A fairly new friend Kerry recently said, "It is sometimes hard to teach while I still have so much to learn." Wiser words were never spoken.

There are no instructions for new parents. There are books and tons of advice. We watched our parents parent us. We try to do better. Hopefully we accomplish that. I know I did. The best advice I can give is to have a plan and stick to it. Staying consistent. Your kids need to know what to expect. They need to know what their boundaries are and what you expect of them. Don't second guess yourself but also be willing to change when you see yourself failing in one way or another. Pay attention to them and to what you're doing as the parent. Know where they are and who they are with. Learn to guide them and not to push. Pushing turns into a shoving match and there is no winner in a shoving match. Parent with love and not with friendship. You're going to make mistakes. Be aware of it and when it happens deal with it because it will happen.

Being a grandparent is so much fun but also very difficult. Standing on the sidelines, watching the dynamics of who your child is and how they develop as a parent. Then adding in their spouse. The person they chose to share their life with and not knowing how they will parent. I hope my children learn from my mistakes and do so much better. I hope their spouses do the same. I hope they understand I have always only wanted what was best for them and now for their children too. I hope they know how much I love them. Although I doubt they will every really fathom how much I love them. Maybe they will after they have their own kids.