Sleep

Blog post #30 of 365

I need more sleep. If I could just get everything done then shut down my brain and lessen my pain I probably could. I've never been really good at it but there is always a first time.

I had a rough childhood with my nights interrupted by fights and threats. I always got up and checked to see if everyone was okay. Then I hit puberty and my pain started. I grew way too fast and tore up everything as I did. I developed arthritis and fibro and my life never again was without pain. Pain and worry keep people awake. Then I had kids and my nights and days were spent making sure they were cared for and safe. I write lists in my head of what needs to be done. my brain is on fast forward and takes a very long time to slow down and let me rest if ever. I never did lose the pain or the worry for the safety of those I love and care for.

I sometimes go weeks without more than an hour or two here and there. It amazes me when I hear about people sleeping 8 or more hours a day. I envy them but I also wonder how they do it. How do they shut down my brain, block out the pain and set aside the worry? IT is a puzzle I hope one day to overcome, conquer.