Monday, December 31, 2012
Friend Quotes New Year's Eve
I wonder how many people I have looked at who did not see me.")
“Anyone who
imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around
shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most
beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful
marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often
dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks,
smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful
vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting
you have the ride.” GB Hinkley Via Marian M Q
"
Friends
Blog post # 40 of 365
More on favorite people.
Some of the best favorite people are friends. First off you get to pick them. If you found out it was a bad choice you move on.
I have some of the best kinds of friends.
There are those I have just met and things are still new.
There are those who have been around a while who I can still surprise.
Then there are the very best kind of friends. The ones who I have known forever. We have shared much together and we have history. Those are the friends who just love you because I am me. They will listen without judgements or maybe they have just learned to keep the judgements to themselves. I just know that I can pick up the phone or go online and talk to them and they get me. They love me in spite of me.
Yup, I have lots of friends and I love them all!
More on favorite people.
Some of the best favorite people are friends. First off you get to pick them. If you found out it was a bad choice you move on.
I have some of the best kinds of friends.
There are those I have just met and things are still new.
There are those who have been around a while who I can still surprise.
Then there are the very best kind of friends. The ones who I have known forever. We have shared much together and we have history. Those are the friends who just love you because I am me. They will listen without judgements or maybe they have just learned to keep the judgements to themselves. I just know that I can pick up the phone or go online and talk to them and they get me. They love me in spite of me.
Yup, I have lots of friends and I love them all!
Do Your Research
Blog post # 39 of 365
This is probably not what you expect but this is going to be about movies. One of my favorite past times.
I went to see Les Miserables today. It was exactly what I expected. Russel Crowe's singing wasn't the best but he is still fun to look at. The cinematography was astounding, direction and acting top notch. It was exactly what I expected.
I few days ago I read posts by two friends on Facebook who were so disappointed they walked out. Okay it is rude to the other patrons to walk out of a theater and so I wondered why they thought it was so bad. I looked at their pages and discovered one has not expected a musical. Really this is a remake of Les Miserables and it has been on Broadway. Most of Broadway is musical. As I was looking at the recent posts my friends had made a few mentioned Les Miserables in posts and had raved about it.
Today the theater was packed (very packed) but ten minutes in a guy walks out. Grumbling about all of the singing as he went. Really do you not research movies or do you pick them blindfolded? I can't see how you wouldn't expect a musical with Les Miserables.
To avoid bothering other movie patrons, wasting your time and money just do a little research. That way you won't find yourself exiting the theater and ticking other people off.
I hope this helps. I know it made me feel better!
This is probably not what you expect but this is going to be about movies. One of my favorite past times.
I went to see Les Miserables today. It was exactly what I expected. Russel Crowe's singing wasn't the best but he is still fun to look at. The cinematography was astounding, direction and acting top notch. It was exactly what I expected.
I few days ago I read posts by two friends on Facebook who were so disappointed they walked out. Okay it is rude to the other patrons to walk out of a theater and so I wondered why they thought it was so bad. I looked at their pages and discovered one has not expected a musical. Really this is a remake of Les Miserables and it has been on Broadway. Most of Broadway is musical. As I was looking at the recent posts my friends had made a few mentioned Les Miserables in posts and had raved about it.
Today the theater was packed (very packed) but ten minutes in a guy walks out. Grumbling about all of the singing as he went. Really do you not research movies or do you pick them blindfolded? I can't see how you wouldn't expect a musical with Les Miserables.
To avoid bothering other movie patrons, wasting your time and money just do a little research. That way you won't find yourself exiting the theater and ticking other people off.
I hope this helps. I know it made me feel better!
Favorite people
Blog post #38 of 365
I have a lot of favorite people…
Where to begin?
My kids are way up on the top. I
have 5 of them and each one can make me laugh and cry easier than any other person on the planet!
My grandkids are also on the top of
my list. As of today I have 4 of them. They have the best smiles, giggles,
questions and so much more. When you have grandchildren you really finally get
to know what it is to love in awe. I look at those little humans and thank God
every day that I get to have them in my
life.
My daughter’s in law are way up
there. As of this writing 2 of my children are married. Those two women are
beautiful, smart, love my boys, are excellent mothers and I don’t think I could
have picked better for them. Thankfully I didn’t have to!
My family is pretty special. I have
5 wonderful brothers that also make me crazy at times. The married ones have
made excellent choices in a wife. Those women are smart, beautiful and love my
brothers. How could I not love them! I have one sister and in a few months time I will meet my brother in law. I have lots of nieces and few a nephews. They are all pretty special.
My friends. Oh my I should probably do a post on just my friends! I think I will!!!!
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Recent Great Quotes Friends Have Made That I Love
"Sickness is the bodies way of telling people to go away." Jenny H
"May we reflect on this past year beyond what our eyes have seen…may we get to the heart of what this year brought us, and may we be filled with hope for all that’s to come."
This is going to be my cheat Katrina. Once a week I'm stealing quotes and passing them on here.
Friday, December 28, 2012
I Love Reliability and Consistency!
Blog post #36 or 365
I love things and people I can rely on. Well I love most things I can rely on anyway.
There are some constants I very much appreciate like gravity for instance. It is always there and it always works. Even mid fall I wouldn't want to change gravity because it is necessary even if I have a clumsy moment.
There are some constants I appreciate but wish I could change. Like I love that the trash man comes every Friday so I don't have a build up of the stuff inside the cans but does he have to get here before 6 am? Sometimes I want to sleep in till 6:30. I don't think that is too much to ask. Thankfully on holiday weeks it is a rare 6 am wake up call!
There are some constants I wish I never had to deal with. Like the first visit to a doctors office. there is always all of that paperwork and then usually some pain or embarrassing moments involved. If I could change those constants I surely would!
Reliability is a noble trait in humans. I do not mean the people you can rely on to be in a bad mood or even a good mood for that matter. No I mean the people you can count. There are people I know I can turn to for advice who will not judge. I know there are people I can count on for help or a ride. I have a great respect for those kinds of people. Especially those people i can count on to do what they say they will do. Those that set goals and accomplish them. Those are the noble ones I am speaking of!
I am grateful for reliability and consistency. If I tell you I'm doing something then I am. If for some reason I can't finish or complete what I have set out to do I will try to get it done a different way or ask for assistance but I will find a way. If you tell me you're doing something then I hope you are too. There is no worse feeling than being let down intentionally or otherwise. It feels intentional when someone tells you they are going to do something and then they just don't. Worse still is when you don't see the effort.
I am grateful for the people and things in my life I can rely on. Those people and things that are consistent. I am a human and therefore a creature of habit. It is those constants in our lives that help us form habits and help me stay human...
I love things and people I can rely on. Well I love most things I can rely on anyway.
There are some constants I very much appreciate like gravity for instance. It is always there and it always works. Even mid fall I wouldn't want to change gravity because it is necessary even if I have a clumsy moment.
There are some constants I appreciate but wish I could change. Like I love that the trash man comes every Friday so I don't have a build up of the stuff inside the cans but does he have to get here before 6 am? Sometimes I want to sleep in till 6:30. I don't think that is too much to ask. Thankfully on holiday weeks it is a rare 6 am wake up call!
There are some constants I wish I never had to deal with. Like the first visit to a doctors office. there is always all of that paperwork and then usually some pain or embarrassing moments involved. If I could change those constants I surely would!
Reliability is a noble trait in humans. I do not mean the people you can rely on to be in a bad mood or even a good mood for that matter. No I mean the people you can count. There are people I know I can turn to for advice who will not judge. I know there are people I can count on for help or a ride. I have a great respect for those kinds of people. Especially those people i can count on to do what they say they will do. Those that set goals and accomplish them. Those are the noble ones I am speaking of!
I am grateful for reliability and consistency. If I tell you I'm doing something then I am. If for some reason I can't finish or complete what I have set out to do I will try to get it done a different way or ask for assistance but I will find a way. If you tell me you're doing something then I hope you are too. There is no worse feeling than being let down intentionally or otherwise. It feels intentional when someone tells you they are going to do something and then they just don't. Worse still is when you don't see the effort.
I am grateful for the people and things in my life I can rely on. Those people and things that are consistent. I am a human and therefore a creature of habit. It is those constants in our lives that help us form habits and help me stay human...
Still Stuck on Christmas
Blog post # 35 of 365
I love Christmas.
I don't love the "give me" society we've become. But the little acts of kindness. the box of gifts left on my niece's porch on what would have been a very slim Christmas or all of the people who purchase a gift for an angel tree or those who serve a hot meal to the homeless. All of those little miracles that mean nothing to most but those that I notice and when I can participate in.
I love the extra effort. Finding the right gift for the right people. I love making and receiving homemade goodies. I love delivering them to my neighbors and friends.
I don't love the commercialism involved but to be honest the commercialism is generally good for the economy provided people spend but stay out of debt.
A few more thoughts on commercialism at Christmas.
My son gives me the best Christmas cards. This years was especially fun. Read on.
Though the weather outside is frightful, marking territory's so delightful.
There's no limit to where I can go, yellow snow! Yellow snow! Yellow snow!
Written on the back was this -
*Whiz you a Merry Christmas!
He makes me laugh and gets me!
So was it the commercialism that led someone to make that card? To a certain degree probably. Would my son have thought of it on his own and hand made me a card? Probably not. Did I love the card? Absolutely.
I was looking around the neighborhood last night. The holiday has passed and most of the decorations will not come down until the weekend or next week sometime or maybe longer. (I have some very festive neighbors.) Are all of those lights and giant air filled figures commercialism too? Probably to a certain extent anyway but I have to tell you I would totally miss them if my neighbors didn't put them up. One usually fast decorator was slower this year and for a moment I thought I wonder if he is okay or if he was going to quit decorating. Selfishly I like them. I don't put up lights, partially because I don't trust the electrical in this very old house but also because physically I really can't. I do appreciate those that do even more because of those things.
Would God appreciate the air blown giant nativity or the cheesy plastic light up creches that pop up this time of year? I'd like to think he does. I'd like to believe he wants us to remember Him in any way we can. If we share publicly on our lawns are we spreading the message to remember why we celebrate the season? I think God may be okay with commercialism. I think He wants us to remember Him any way we choose. I think He loves us even when we forget to love Him.
I can be pretty bah hum bug at times around Christmas. There have been some pretty bad memories tied to Christmas that never seem to just go away. I'm guessing that is why I feel okay with a little bah hum bug this time of year. My commercialism filled neighborhood take a little of that bah humbug away. They help make me happy and I'm grateful for that.
I love Christmas.
I don't love the "give me" society we've become. But the little acts of kindness. the box of gifts left on my niece's porch on what would have been a very slim Christmas or all of the people who purchase a gift for an angel tree or those who serve a hot meal to the homeless. All of those little miracles that mean nothing to most but those that I notice and when I can participate in.
I love the extra effort. Finding the right gift for the right people. I love making and receiving homemade goodies. I love delivering them to my neighbors and friends.
I don't love the commercialism involved but to be honest the commercialism is generally good for the economy provided people spend but stay out of debt.
A few more thoughts on commercialism at Christmas.
My son gives me the best Christmas cards. This years was especially fun. Read on.
Though the weather outside is frightful, marking territory's so delightful.
There's no limit to where I can go, yellow snow! Yellow snow! Yellow snow!
Written on the back was this -
*Whiz you a Merry Christmas!
He makes me laugh and gets me!
So was it the commercialism that led someone to make that card? To a certain degree probably. Would my son have thought of it on his own and hand made me a card? Probably not. Did I love the card? Absolutely.
I was looking around the neighborhood last night. The holiday has passed and most of the decorations will not come down until the weekend or next week sometime or maybe longer. (I have some very festive neighbors.) Are all of those lights and giant air filled figures commercialism too? Probably to a certain extent anyway but I have to tell you I would totally miss them if my neighbors didn't put them up. One usually fast decorator was slower this year and for a moment I thought I wonder if he is okay or if he was going to quit decorating. Selfishly I like them. I don't put up lights, partially because I don't trust the electrical in this very old house but also because physically I really can't. I do appreciate those that do even more because of those things.
Would God appreciate the air blown giant nativity or the cheesy plastic light up creches that pop up this time of year? I'd like to think he does. I'd like to believe he wants us to remember Him in any way we can. If we share publicly on our lawns are we spreading the message to remember why we celebrate the season? I think God may be okay with commercialism. I think He wants us to remember Him any way we choose. I think He loves us even when we forget to love Him.
I can be pretty bah hum bug at times around Christmas. There have been some pretty bad memories tied to Christmas that never seem to just go away. I'm guessing that is why I feel okay with a little bah hum bug this time of year. My commercialism filled neighborhood take a little of that bah humbug away. They help make me happy and I'm grateful for that.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Movie on Christmas
Blog post # 34 of 365
I wrote a blog post of my top five Christmas traditions and there really is six.
#6 top Christmas tradition is going to a movie. Since we do our Christmas party before Christmas day and most of my kids have moved away I enjoy a matinee on Christmas morning. This year Kyle and I went to see Jack Reacher. It was a pretty good movie and we were not alone.
The best moment at the theater today 12/25/12 was helping a little boy (about 9 or 10) help find a bathroom. As I exited the theater he came down the hall and looked as if he was looking for something but I knew only an emergency exit was down the way he was going. I was able to point him in the right direction and he was very grateful. It is good to know some parents are still teaching manners.
I wrote a blog post of my top five Christmas traditions and there really is six.
#6 top Christmas tradition is going to a movie. Since we do our Christmas party before Christmas day and most of my kids have moved away I enjoy a matinee on Christmas morning. This year Kyle and I went to see Jack Reacher. It was a pretty good movie and we were not alone.
The best moment at the theater today 12/25/12 was helping a little boy (about 9 or 10) help find a bathroom. As I exited the theater he came down the hall and looked as if he was looking for something but I knew only an emergency exit was down the way he was going. I was able to point him in the right direction and he was very grateful. It is good to know some parents are still teaching manners.
Top Five Christmas Traditions
Blog post # 33 of 365
I love Christmas. Traditions help make it even better. Here are my top five
I love Christmas. Traditions help make it even better. Here are my top five
- Decorating the tree right after Thanksgiving. It gives me a boost of Christmas spirit.
- Painting. I love to paint for people who appreciate the end product.
- Making Christmas goodies for the neighbors. It gives me a chance to connect with them if only for a few moments each year.
- Carolers. We have a family come by every year in period clothing and sing traditional Christmas songs in harmony. It is so cool!
- Going to my brothers for the Family Christmas party. The best fun, good food, great decorations and much laughter.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Christmas Gifts
Blog Post #32 of 365
I am blessed with much. To some I may have so little they would never understand my gratitude for "all I have" but I have come to understand that there is more to life than things. I have people, I have health (not the best but by far not the worst), I have love, I have compassion, I have wisdom (most days), I have talents, I have shelter and food, I have music, I have laughter, I have books & movies, I have an education, I have a good family and I have the gospel. What more do I need?
This Christmas I went to our family party and while I was there received gifts from my family. I won't list the items I got but some moved me to tears, I got a lump in my throat and will cherish them forever. This year for some of my family money is very tight. I wish I had the capability to make things easier for them but I do not. For these family members they had to think outside of the box. They had to be creative and those are the gifts I will cherish most. Those are always the gifts I will cherish most.
I pray that my family has a better year ahead. I pray they make some good choices and have some good luck but most of all I hope they know how wonderful they are to me. My family is the best gift ever and I wouldn't trade any one of them! I thank the good Lord for the gift of my family at Christmas time all all life long!
I am blessed with much. To some I may have so little they would never understand my gratitude for "all I have" but I have come to understand that there is more to life than things. I have people, I have health (not the best but by far not the worst), I have love, I have compassion, I have wisdom (most days), I have talents, I have shelter and food, I have music, I have laughter, I have books & movies, I have an education, I have a good family and I have the gospel. What more do I need?
This Christmas I went to our family party and while I was there received gifts from my family. I won't list the items I got but some moved me to tears, I got a lump in my throat and will cherish them forever. This year for some of my family money is very tight. I wish I had the capability to make things easier for them but I do not. For these family members they had to think outside of the box. They had to be creative and those are the gifts I will cherish most. Those are always the gifts I will cherish most.
I pray that my family has a better year ahead. I pray they make some good choices and have some good luck but most of all I hope they know how wonderful they are to me. My family is the best gift ever and I wouldn't trade any one of them! I thank the good Lord for the gift of my family at Christmas time all all life long!
Christmas Wishes
Blog post #31 of 365
My friend writes a blog http://katkommentary.blogspot.com She is the one that challenged me to write every day for a year... well I was pushing her to meet her challenge of one blog post every day and kind of felt like I couldn't say much if I wasn't willing myself so here we are. Anyway it is Christmas eve. (I started 12/1/12 and this is post 31 so yes I am ahead a little but I have another challenge starting 1/1/13, I digress.) Being that is it Christmas eve and I have Christmas on my mind I thought I'd share my wishes which were inspired by a blog post Kat did on Amy Grant's Christmas album. I have to admit I'd never heard it but since she posted the lyrics for Grown Up Christmas List...
"No more lives torn apart
My friend writes a blog http://katkommentary.blogspot.com She is the one that challenged me to write every day for a year... well I was pushing her to meet her challenge of one blog post every day and kind of felt like I couldn't say much if I wasn't willing myself so here we are. Anyway it is Christmas eve. (I started 12/1/12 and this is post 31 so yes I am ahead a little but I have another challenge starting 1/1/13, I digress.) Being that is it Christmas eve and I have Christmas on my mind I thought I'd share my wishes which were inspired by a blog post Kat did on Amy Grant's Christmas album. I have to admit I'd never heard it but since she posted the lyrics for Grown Up Christmas List...
"No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown-up Christmas list"
I loved the lyrics and the wishes are perfect. For years though I have believed that the best wish for anybody is to have enough. To have enough kindness, enough happiness, enough money, enough warmth, enough forgiveness & forgiving, enough laughter, enough food, enough true friends, and enough love to last a lifetime and more.
Oh I wish I could make evil go away but to do that I would have to take away agency and that is one of the greatest gifts God gave us. So I can't make abuse go away either since I believe things like abuse stem from choices.
I'd love for there to be no hunger, no homeless, no fear, no sadness, no depression, no disease, no pain but there too I believe those are things that help us grow and teach us to be better humans. Those things help us learn compassion and to love those around us. Or to choose not to and although that may be a shame but it is also a gift.
So my wish this year is for enough, for all of the things spoken of in the Grown Up Christmas List but also for us to pay attention to those around us and try to be as loving and compassionate as we can be!
This is my grown-up Christmas list"
I loved the lyrics and the wishes are perfect. For years though I have believed that the best wish for anybody is to have enough. To have enough kindness, enough happiness, enough money, enough warmth, enough forgiveness & forgiving, enough laughter, enough food, enough true friends, and enough love to last a lifetime and more.
Oh I wish I could make evil go away but to do that I would have to take away agency and that is one of the greatest gifts God gave us. So I can't make abuse go away either since I believe things like abuse stem from choices.
I'd love for there to be no hunger, no homeless, no fear, no sadness, no depression, no disease, no pain but there too I believe those are things that help us grow and teach us to be better humans. Those things help us learn compassion and to love those around us. Or to choose not to and although that may be a shame but it is also a gift.
So my wish this year is for enough, for all of the things spoken of in the Grown Up Christmas List but also for us to pay attention to those around us and try to be as loving and compassionate as we can be!
Sleep
Blog post #30 of 365
I need more sleep. If I could just get everything done then shut down my brain and lessen my pain I probably could. I've never been really good at it but there is always a first time.
I had a rough childhood with my nights interrupted by fights and threats. I always got up and checked to see if everyone was okay. Then I hit puberty and my pain started. I grew way too fast and tore up everything as I did. I developed arthritis and fibro and my life never again was without pain. Pain and worry keep people awake. Then I had kids and my nights and days were spent making sure they were cared for and safe. I write lists in my head of what needs to be done. my brain is on fast forward and takes a very long time to slow down and let me rest if ever. I never did lose the pain or the worry for the safety of those I love and care for.
I sometimes go weeks without more than an hour or two here and there. It amazes me when I hear about people sleeping 8 or more hours a day. I envy them but I also wonder how they do it. How do they shut down my brain, block out the pain and set aside the worry? IT is a puzzle I hope one day to overcome, conquer.
I need more sleep. If I could just get everything done then shut down my brain and lessen my pain I probably could. I've never been really good at it but there is always a first time.
I had a rough childhood with my nights interrupted by fights and threats. I always got up and checked to see if everyone was okay. Then I hit puberty and my pain started. I grew way too fast and tore up everything as I did. I developed arthritis and fibro and my life never again was without pain. Pain and worry keep people awake. Then I had kids and my nights and days were spent making sure they were cared for and safe. I write lists in my head of what needs to be done. my brain is on fast forward and takes a very long time to slow down and let me rest if ever. I never did lose the pain or the worry for the safety of those I love and care for.
I sometimes go weeks without more than an hour or two here and there. It amazes me when I hear about people sleeping 8 or more hours a day. I envy them but I also wonder how they do it. How do they shut down my brain, block out the pain and set aside the worry? IT is a puzzle I hope one day to overcome, conquer.
My Dad Had Parkinsons
Blog Post #29 of 365
My dad was in a home for about five years. the doctor told my mom if she didn't put him in a home she would soon be there with him the the bed next to his. It about broke her heart and most days she sat at his side for long hours. I'd sit with him too every time I came to see mom I'd sit with him too. When she had surgery I sat with him and comforted his fears sice he knew she wasn't there.
My dad was strong and smart. but once he got Parkinson's Disease he was never the same. Watching him dwindle was the hardest thing ever. You see he was only my dad for a very short time. He joined our family when I was 19. He and my mom made each other happy. She deserved happiness and so did he. He loved her in a way I haven't seen very often and always dreamed I'd have. Maybe one day. No our lives weren't perfect but they were good.
My dad and I had a bond. We got each other. We made each other laugh and as he dwindled away in the hospital bed I cried for him. I mourned the loss of who he was knowing that he understood what was happening to him. That he feared death in that way. He begged for me to help him depart in a different way but sadly we let people suffer because it is the only legal way.
I loved him and I still do. One day I will see him again and I will thank him for the gift he gave my mom. I will let him know how much he meant to me.
I read this poem and thought I know exactly what the author and many of the people I came to know through the ordeal with my dad how hard it is. How undignified it is to get so old and unable to care for yourself that you must rely on others to do for you. Hopefully if you are very lucky you too will have people to love and care for you the way we did for my dad.
Cranky Old Man by Anonymous
What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!
The story is that this was found in the room of an elderly patient who had passed away in a nursing home in Australia. I wish I knew who he was. I would let his children know how much love I felt when I read it and how much I appreciated his words. May he rest in peace. May he and my dad meet up in heaven and wait for us.
My dad was in a home for about five years. the doctor told my mom if she didn't put him in a home she would soon be there with him the the bed next to his. It about broke her heart and most days she sat at his side for long hours. I'd sit with him too every time I came to see mom I'd sit with him too. When she had surgery I sat with him and comforted his fears sice he knew she wasn't there.
My dad was strong and smart. but once he got Parkinson's Disease he was never the same. Watching him dwindle was the hardest thing ever. You see he was only my dad for a very short time. He joined our family when I was 19. He and my mom made each other happy. She deserved happiness and so did he. He loved her in a way I haven't seen very often and always dreamed I'd have. Maybe one day. No our lives weren't perfect but they were good.
My dad and I had a bond. We got each other. We made each other laugh and as he dwindled away in the hospital bed I cried for him. I mourned the loss of who he was knowing that he understood what was happening to him. That he feared death in that way. He begged for me to help him depart in a different way but sadly we let people suffer because it is the only legal way.
I loved him and I still do. One day I will see him again and I will thank him for the gift he gave my mom. I will let him know how much he meant to me.
I read this poem and thought I know exactly what the author and many of the people I came to know through the ordeal with my dad how hard it is. How undignified it is to get so old and unable to care for yourself that you must rely on others to do for you. Hopefully if you are very lucky you too will have people to love and care for you the way we did for my dad.
Cranky Old Man by Anonymous
What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!
The story is that this was found in the room of an elderly patient who had passed away in a nursing home in Australia. I wish I knew who he was. I would let his children know how much love I felt when I read it and how much I appreciated his words. May he rest in peace. May he and my dad meet up in heaven and wait for us.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Time
Blog post 26 of 365
I am ahead of myself of purpose because I have a busy month ahead. Today is December 21, 2012 the official end of the Mayan calendar. I had to make note of the fact that I am still here writing this blog so the world did not come to an end. Not today anyway. Time didn't run out. The batteries in the kitchen clock did but that is about it.
Today started in Australia yesterday so officially for this side of the international dateline is behind on the information.
I wonder what all of the preppers are doing now? You know the survivalist who are waiting for the end to come with bunkers full of food a supplies. I know not all of them were thinking of today. Some are awaiting the zombie apocalypse, lol. I imagine anything is possible. I have food and supplies for about a month if I don't bathe or flush but I could eat and sleep.
For all of you preppers I have to say I am only joking. I think everyone should be prepared in case of an emergency. Flood, earthquake or what have you but I wouldn't know where to begin. So good for you. May you all have a great life after the rest of us perish should that emergency happen.
I am grateful the world didn't end today. I have people to cherish, things to finish and more to give.
I am ahead of myself of purpose because I have a busy month ahead. Today is December 21, 2012 the official end of the Mayan calendar. I had to make note of the fact that I am still here writing this blog so the world did not come to an end. Not today anyway. Time didn't run out. The batteries in the kitchen clock did but that is about it.
Today started in Australia yesterday so officially for this side of the international dateline is behind on the information.
I wonder what all of the preppers are doing now? You know the survivalist who are waiting for the end to come with bunkers full of food a supplies. I know not all of them were thinking of today. Some are awaiting the zombie apocalypse, lol. I imagine anything is possible. I have food and supplies for about a month if I don't bathe or flush but I could eat and sleep.
For all of you preppers I have to say I am only joking. I think everyone should be prepared in case of an emergency. Flood, earthquake or what have you but I wouldn't know where to begin. So good for you. May you all have a great life after the rest of us perish should that emergency happen.
I am grateful the world didn't end today. I have people to cherish, things to finish and more to give.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
I Adore My Grandkids
Blog post #25 of 365
Every grandma thinks their grandchildren are cute. However I have the most adorable grandchildren. Playing with them makes me very happy but right now I don't get nearly enough opportunities to play with them.
I do however have the best daughters in law who post photos on the internet and send video texts. They are the best! My sons have great taste!
Every grandma thinks their grandchildren are cute. However I have the most adorable grandchildren. Playing with them makes me very happy but right now I don't get nearly enough opportunities to play with them.
I do however have the best daughters in law who post photos on the internet and send video texts. They are the best! My sons have great taste!
Attention
Blog post #24 of 365
I have been thinking about attention. Humans, most humans, seek attention. There are the few who try very hard to avoid attention and those are the ones I can figure out.
We are born helpless. Our parents spend most of the first few years keeping us alive. They feed us, bathe us, and keep us warm and dry. At some point they begin teaching us to take care of ourselves. It is a natural progression. When we a little we are the center of our parent's world.
People beyond our parents pay attention to us when we are little too. For proof check out any of my photo albums online or on the shelf and you will see the majority of the photos have kids in them. Little people with big smiles and lots of people playing with them. The truth is little people are the best entertainment for big people. It doesn't get any more wholesome than that.
Add siblings and the attention seeking goes into hyper speed. Having an interloper stealing some of the spotlight you have been the center of all that time is tough on a kid. Sometimes kids find they only get attention if they do something bad or wrong. Bad attention being better than no attention.
After all of these observations I can see why kids seek attention. Can you tell I am a parent?
There are those though who never grow out of that desire to be the center of attention. They sometimes hurt others in their desire for the spotlight. It is those people who get to me. Last night I had a family member get on me for "making" her sister come to a party. So I told the sister if she didn't want to come she didn't have to come. She claimed she didn't say what her sister claimed she said. Complaining about not having a ride and having to take public transportation got her the attention she craves. Then blamed me saying I would get mad if she didn't go gets her more attention. In truth I believe she wants to go but she gets more attention complaining and I become the bad guy because I won't pick her up and "insist" she come. Ugh.
This kind of attention seeker is one I don't understand. If you want attention seek a career that gets you attention or go do good deeds or something but complaining, I just don't understand. Oh wait I'm complaining (a little) here maybe I am seeking attention too.
My career was teaching so there you have it I must be still seeking attention.
I also blog. Another attention seeking device? Probably not but if you're reading this then I guess maybe it is.
I have been thinking about attention. Humans, most humans, seek attention. There are the few who try very hard to avoid attention and those are the ones I can figure out.
We are born helpless. Our parents spend most of the first few years keeping us alive. They feed us, bathe us, and keep us warm and dry. At some point they begin teaching us to take care of ourselves. It is a natural progression. When we a little we are the center of our parent's world.
People beyond our parents pay attention to us when we are little too. For proof check out any of my photo albums online or on the shelf and you will see the majority of the photos have kids in them. Little people with big smiles and lots of people playing with them. The truth is little people are the best entertainment for big people. It doesn't get any more wholesome than that.
Add siblings and the attention seeking goes into hyper speed. Having an interloper stealing some of the spotlight you have been the center of all that time is tough on a kid. Sometimes kids find they only get attention if they do something bad or wrong. Bad attention being better than no attention.
After all of these observations I can see why kids seek attention. Can you tell I am a parent?
There are those though who never grow out of that desire to be the center of attention. They sometimes hurt others in their desire for the spotlight. It is those people who get to me. Last night I had a family member get on me for "making" her sister come to a party. So I told the sister if she didn't want to come she didn't have to come. She claimed she didn't say what her sister claimed she said. Complaining about not having a ride and having to take public transportation got her the attention she craves. Then blamed me saying I would get mad if she didn't go gets her more attention. In truth I believe she wants to go but she gets more attention complaining and I become the bad guy because I won't pick her up and "insist" she come. Ugh.
This kind of attention seeker is one I don't understand. If you want attention seek a career that gets you attention or go do good deeds or something but complaining, I just don't understand. Oh wait I'm complaining (a little) here maybe I am seeking attention too.
My career was teaching so there you have it I must be still seeking attention.
I also blog. Another attention seeking device? Probably not but if you're reading this then I guess maybe it is.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Fishing
Blog post #23 or 365
I miss fishing.
My grandfather took me once and we didn't catch a thing. Then I fished in my great uncle's pond. We caught plenty. That experience changed my views on fishing.
In 1992 I moved to Oklahoma. I think it is a rule that you have to fish to live there. Or at least it felt like that when I was anywhere close to a lake, pond, creek or river. I always had fish in the freezer and my kids ate fish. My friends and I would take the little ones to the creek to fish. The bigger kids would go out on the lake with the dads. It was good clean fun and resulted in an entertaining way to feed ourselves. There is something to be said for working to get your food. I have had a garden and frankly it failed and wasn't nearly as much fun as fishing.
We moved back to California and I quit fishing. Not because I don't enjoy it but because I haven't lived near anything I could fish in that I would feel comfortable eating fish from. Too much pollution and not much else but the ocean or recreational lakes close by. Also I could never be a catch and release fisherman. I find the practice cruel. I would however put a baby fish back because they are not usually legal to keep and frankly aren't enough to eat. I would hope the experience would teach them not to take the bait again but I somehow doubt it.
One day I'll probably take my grandkids to a fish farm where they are bound to catch a fish. I want them to know fishing is fun. Also I want them to see where food come from. If they become a vegetarian from the experience I'll be sad but then I will help them start a garden. I can hang with vegetarians, I don't have to agree with them but I understand the philosophy behind it.
I've never killed on a hunt but I have eaten plenty of deer, elk, bear and assorted other wild animals. I'm not much into the game meat but give me a freshly caught fish and I am all over it. I'll even clean, filet and cook it. Yum! I miss fishing.
I miss fishing.
My grandfather took me once and we didn't catch a thing. Then I fished in my great uncle's pond. We caught plenty. That experience changed my views on fishing.
In 1992 I moved to Oklahoma. I think it is a rule that you have to fish to live there. Or at least it felt like that when I was anywhere close to a lake, pond, creek or river. I always had fish in the freezer and my kids ate fish. My friends and I would take the little ones to the creek to fish. The bigger kids would go out on the lake with the dads. It was good clean fun and resulted in an entertaining way to feed ourselves. There is something to be said for working to get your food. I have had a garden and frankly it failed and wasn't nearly as much fun as fishing.
We moved back to California and I quit fishing. Not because I don't enjoy it but because I haven't lived near anything I could fish in that I would feel comfortable eating fish from. Too much pollution and not much else but the ocean or recreational lakes close by. Also I could never be a catch and release fisherman. I find the practice cruel. I would however put a baby fish back because they are not usually legal to keep and frankly aren't enough to eat. I would hope the experience would teach them not to take the bait again but I somehow doubt it.
One day I'll probably take my grandkids to a fish farm where they are bound to catch a fish. I want them to know fishing is fun. Also I want them to see where food come from. If they become a vegetarian from the experience I'll be sad but then I will help them start a garden. I can hang with vegetarians, I don't have to agree with them but I understand the philosophy behind it.
I've never killed on a hunt but I have eaten plenty of deer, elk, bear and assorted other wild animals. I'm not much into the game meat but give me a freshly caught fish and I am all over it. I'll even clean, filet and cook it. Yum! I miss fishing.
Moods and Healing
Blog Post #22 of 365
I've been thinking about moods. People are moody. I think moods are how we react to people, things and places around us. I was watching a guy who scowled as someone cheerfully smiled and said, :Merry Christmas." Usually people smile back or ignore these kinds of gestures. So today I choose to be cheerful as much as possible. Maybe that will help me get over this darn bug I have. They say laughter can heal so maybe cheer can heal too.
I've been thinking about moods. People are moody. I think moods are how we react to people, things and places around us. I was watching a guy who scowled as someone cheerfully smiled and said, :Merry Christmas." Usually people smile back or ignore these kinds of gestures. So today I choose to be cheerful as much as possible. Maybe that will help me get over this darn bug I have. They say laughter can heal so maybe cheer can heal too.
Gunman
Blog Post # 21 of 365
I did cover this incident in an earlier blog post but I have more thoughts. On Friday December 14 2012 a gunman opened fire at and elementary school in Newtown, CT. Sadly this isn't the first school shooting in my lifetime but it is in my eyes one of the most horrific. The shooter killed 20 children and 6 adults. Many of the adults died trying to save children. Some are being called hero. Apparently the shooter a 20 male with a history of mental health issues used guns owned by his mother who he killed before going to the school. In the end the shooter was killed as well. I don't know all of the details and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. (In fact I may have some of these wrong but I don't want to fact check this incident.)
You might be wondering where this is headed since I obviously do not wish to know more about the incident or the shooter... read on.
There have been some pretty heated debates about how to prevent further shootings. The answer is I don't think there is a way to prevent another shooting from happening.
We can't prevent any evil from happening. (I don't think the shooter was evil but I don't think he had complete control to stop himself from committing such an act if in fact he was mentally ill.) Evil happens in part because people have agency and I would never want that taken away.
There has been talk of stricter gun control but he used guns from his own home. Presumably the guns were owned by someone other than himself.
There is talk of training and arming teachers, administrators, or having armed guards. I can see that ending poorly too. Can you imagine the outrage if a child were to get a hold of a gun on campus or worse the gunman having access to more guns on school property? Essentially he/she could enter empty handed with a legitimate reason for being on campus and use the guns already there to kill people.
There is talk of heavy security. I know one school shooting was done sniper style so do we have a perimeter around the school like they do in prisons?
It appears to me that schools are doing the best they can. As each incident occurs policies are made and it gets harder and harder to enter most school campuses. Which I applaud even if it is a pain in the neck sometimes. Students at our schools know about lock downs. Teachers have specific procedures. They are taught to protect the kids as best they can. What more can we expect?
Mental health is the big elephant in the room. It is costly. Insurance covers little if you happen to have any coverage at all. Unless the patient has actually committed a crime chances are he isn't getting any help at all. Times are changing and kids are often out of control. Parents have little resources and little recourse when it comes to an out of control child will any number of difficult diagnosis like oppositional defiant disorder or rage issues. Some parents are living with children with explosive episodes and police will not step in if no crime has been committed. Even the kids don't understand what is happening to them. What are parents to do? What are we to do as a society?
I'm not sure there is an answer but I do know we need to stop pointing fingers and blaming people or things that we have no control over.
The situation is sad. The families involved including the shooter's family need our prayers and compassion. We need to mourn in our own way and pray it doesn't happen again. We need to hug our kids and tell them we love them every day. But honestly that is about all we can do. Short of locking our kids at home and teaching them ourselves there is little we can do to protect them while they are away from us.
I did cover this incident in an earlier blog post but I have more thoughts. On Friday December 14 2012 a gunman opened fire at and elementary school in Newtown, CT. Sadly this isn't the first school shooting in my lifetime but it is in my eyes one of the most horrific. The shooter killed 20 children and 6 adults. Many of the adults died trying to save children. Some are being called hero. Apparently the shooter a 20 male with a history of mental health issues used guns owned by his mother who he killed before going to the school. In the end the shooter was killed as well. I don't know all of the details and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. (In fact I may have some of these wrong but I don't want to fact check this incident.)
You might be wondering where this is headed since I obviously do not wish to know more about the incident or the shooter... read on.
There have been some pretty heated debates about how to prevent further shootings. The answer is I don't think there is a way to prevent another shooting from happening.
We can't prevent any evil from happening. (I don't think the shooter was evil but I don't think he had complete control to stop himself from committing such an act if in fact he was mentally ill.) Evil happens in part because people have agency and I would never want that taken away.
There has been talk of stricter gun control but he used guns from his own home. Presumably the guns were owned by someone other than himself.
There is talk of training and arming teachers, administrators, or having armed guards. I can see that ending poorly too. Can you imagine the outrage if a child were to get a hold of a gun on campus or worse the gunman having access to more guns on school property? Essentially he/she could enter empty handed with a legitimate reason for being on campus and use the guns already there to kill people.
There is talk of heavy security. I know one school shooting was done sniper style so do we have a perimeter around the school like they do in prisons?
It appears to me that schools are doing the best they can. As each incident occurs policies are made and it gets harder and harder to enter most school campuses. Which I applaud even if it is a pain in the neck sometimes. Students at our schools know about lock downs. Teachers have specific procedures. They are taught to protect the kids as best they can. What more can we expect?
Mental health is the big elephant in the room. It is costly. Insurance covers little if you happen to have any coverage at all. Unless the patient has actually committed a crime chances are he isn't getting any help at all. Times are changing and kids are often out of control. Parents have little resources and little recourse when it comes to an out of control child will any number of difficult diagnosis like oppositional defiant disorder or rage issues. Some parents are living with children with explosive episodes and police will not step in if no crime has been committed. Even the kids don't understand what is happening to them. What are parents to do? What are we to do as a society?
I'm not sure there is an answer but I do know we need to stop pointing fingers and blaming people or things that we have no control over.
The situation is sad. The families involved including the shooter's family need our prayers and compassion. We need to mourn in our own way and pray it doesn't happen again. We need to hug our kids and tell them we love them every day. But honestly that is about all we can do. Short of locking our kids at home and teaching them ourselves there is little we can do to protect them while they are away from us.
Frustrations at Changes
Blog post #20 of 365
Some things just don't need an explanation, while others seem to have none.
I was looking at photos this morning and realized that some I understood at a glance either why, where, or when they were taken. Some made me laugh and others made me wonder. Why would anyone take those kind of photos and then post it on a public photo sharing site? I wonder how many people will look back and wonder at their mistakes. Mind you these are photos of people I know and care about. I think they are making a big mistake.
Speaking of mistakes I was looking at the photos on this site because in a few short weeks the policy of the site will change and my private photos become a commodity to the photo sharing site. Which is to say they can sell my photos to whoever they like without permission and without compensating me in any way. The photos could be used for any reason including advertizing. Really not cool? If I wanted to sell my photos I would. My privacy setting will not stop the sales so in a few weeks my account will be deleted and I will not be able to see what my friends have posted. It is a darn shame.
Do I sound a little frustrated? Well I am.
Some things just don't need an explanation, while others seem to have none.
I was looking at photos this morning and realized that some I understood at a glance either why, where, or when they were taken. Some made me laugh and others made me wonder. Why would anyone take those kind of photos and then post it on a public photo sharing site? I wonder how many people will look back and wonder at their mistakes. Mind you these are photos of people I know and care about. I think they are making a big mistake.
Speaking of mistakes I was looking at the photos on this site because in a few short weeks the policy of the site will change and my private photos become a commodity to the photo sharing site. Which is to say they can sell my photos to whoever they like without permission and without compensating me in any way. The photos could be used for any reason including advertizing. Really not cool? If I wanted to sell my photos I would. My privacy setting will not stop the sales so in a few weeks my account will be deleted and I will not be able to see what my friends have posted. It is a darn shame.
Do I sound a little frustrated? Well I am.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Is Illness an Excuse?
Blog Post #19
I have been sick for a couple of days now. I am trying to rest but failing for the most part. I have exactly 4 days to recover before family arrives on the fifth. Then a family party on the sixth day. I have paintings to finish and one to start. I have packages to mail and wrap. When do I find time to rest in all of this?
So the question for me is illness an excuse not to blog? If you accept this miniscule paragraph then I'm in the clear if not illness will have to be my excuse.
I have been sick for a couple of days now. I am trying to rest but failing for the most part. I have exactly 4 days to recover before family arrives on the fifth. Then a family party on the sixth day. I have paintings to finish and one to start. I have packages to mail and wrap. When do I find time to rest in all of this?
So the question for me is illness an excuse not to blog? If you accept this miniscule paragraph then I'm in the clear if not illness will have to be my excuse.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Paying Attention
Blog post #18 of 365
What are you doing to make the world a better place? I'm not talking about a grand gesture but do you think about what you do or don't do as far as how it impacts the world?
I have recycled bottles since the days I got a nickle from the grocery store for bringing back my empties. (Next stop Thrifties for a scoop of ice cream!) I have reused containers since things started coming in plastic. I still return my cans and bottles for the nickle. I wash my car on the grass and used mild soap so I could kill two birds with one stone. We have a recycling can and it is always more full than the trash can. Every time I mow or trim anything green it goes in the green waste can to be returned to the earth. You see I think about things like this.
I think making the world a better place goes beyond recycling. I think it is about paying attention to what we do and say, how we raise our kids, and the effort me make to do and be better. I hear people ask what is the world coming to? I believe the answer might be whatever we allow it to become. I don't like cussing in kindergarten but parents who cuss don't mind. We have more and more soft porn on TV screens. What happened to the fade to black? Oh yeah those were the days of innocence. I want more innocence. We let so much slide by and then wonder how low those around us can get.
This is not time to sit back and wait for some kind of government interventions or regulations. We just need to pay attention and step up when something isn't right. We need to do more to make the world we live in better instead of expecting someone else to do it for us. So again I ask, what are you doing to make the world a better place?
What are you doing to make the world a better place? I'm not talking about a grand gesture but do you think about what you do or don't do as far as how it impacts the world?
I have recycled bottles since the days I got a nickle from the grocery store for bringing back my empties. (Next stop Thrifties for a scoop of ice cream!) I have reused containers since things started coming in plastic. I still return my cans and bottles for the nickle. I wash my car on the grass and used mild soap so I could kill two birds with one stone. We have a recycling can and it is always more full than the trash can. Every time I mow or trim anything green it goes in the green waste can to be returned to the earth. You see I think about things like this.
I think making the world a better place goes beyond recycling. I think it is about paying attention to what we do and say, how we raise our kids, and the effort me make to do and be better. I hear people ask what is the world coming to? I believe the answer might be whatever we allow it to become. I don't like cussing in kindergarten but parents who cuss don't mind. We have more and more soft porn on TV screens. What happened to the fade to black? Oh yeah those were the days of innocence. I want more innocence. We let so much slide by and then wonder how low those around us can get.
This is not time to sit back and wait for some kind of government interventions or regulations. We just need to pay attention and step up when something isn't right. We need to do more to make the world we live in better instead of expecting someone else to do it for us. So again I ask, what are you doing to make the world a better place?
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Expectations
Blog Post #17 of 365
Sometimes we we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them. I'm pretty sure that isn't how it is supposed to work but I can understand how upsetting it can be when you feel like someone is doing the minimum when you know you would never do that in their stead.
Unfortunately I've been disappointed too many times not to set my expectations low. It sounds bad but then again I am usually pleasantly surprised when they surpass my expectations. Sadly pleasant surprises aren't always the case.
I try to lead by example. How can I expect much from anyone when I am not willing to give everything I can beforehand? This doesn't always work but I wonder how much stems from laziness. We have instant and automatic everything these days. Nobody has to hand wash anything because they have a cycle for that, nobody bathes in a stream or cooks over a fire unless they are camping in the woods. Most people I know use a camper/trailer or at least bring along the camp stove. We are spoiled which can make us pretty lazy.
So this year as I prepare for Christmas I don't expect much. I am painting many gifts and focus my giving efforts on the little ones. My kids are underemployed and they are usually the ones who provide a Christmas surprise for me so if I get anything I will be in heaven.
Sometimes we we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them. I'm pretty sure that isn't how it is supposed to work but I can understand how upsetting it can be when you feel like someone is doing the minimum when you know you would never do that in their stead.
Unfortunately I've been disappointed too many times not to set my expectations low. It sounds bad but then again I am usually pleasantly surprised when they surpass my expectations. Sadly pleasant surprises aren't always the case.
I try to lead by example. How can I expect much from anyone when I am not willing to give everything I can beforehand? This doesn't always work but I wonder how much stems from laziness. We have instant and automatic everything these days. Nobody has to hand wash anything because they have a cycle for that, nobody bathes in a stream or cooks over a fire unless they are camping in the woods. Most people I know use a camper/trailer or at least bring along the camp stove. We are spoiled which can make us pretty lazy.
So this year as I prepare for Christmas I don't expect much. I am painting many gifts and focus my giving efforts on the little ones. My kids are underemployed and they are usually the ones who provide a Christmas surprise for me so if I get anything I will be in heaven.
Friday, December 14, 2012
More on Fear
Blog post 16 of 365
There are dangers in this world.We hear about them every day. On December 14, 2012 a gunman walked into an elementary school and killed 26 people and injured others in Newtown, CT. School children all over the nation will worry next week as they enter their schools.
I could go into more horror stories but that one is the biggie of the day. Where am I going with this? I believe children across the nation have felt safe at school. After Columbine every district took steps to make their schools a safe place for kids yet today we know it wasn't enough and school may always remain a fearful place for some.
The point is we choose how we react to these situations. Our reaction is fear based. There will always be dangers. We can't bubble wrap our kids or lock them away. I for one want my grandchildren to play and be kids. I also want to them to be safe and grow to be adults. I also know I can't protect them against every evil thing and person.
Danger is real. Learning to deal with it responsibly and well is a tricky thing I believe everyone must try to accomplish.
Do I have fears? Heck yes! Do I let them rule my life? Heck no! Do I take precautions? Yup, wherever possible. I choose to pray for those who lost family and friends today that they might find comfort. I choose to try to live without the added fear of what if!
There are dangers in this world.We hear about them every day. On December 14, 2012 a gunman walked into an elementary school and killed 26 people and injured others in Newtown, CT. School children all over the nation will worry next week as they enter their schools.
I could go into more horror stories but that one is the biggie of the day. Where am I going with this? I believe children across the nation have felt safe at school. After Columbine every district took steps to make their schools a safe place for kids yet today we know it wasn't enough and school may always remain a fearful place for some.
The point is we choose how we react to these situations. Our reaction is fear based. There will always be dangers. We can't bubble wrap our kids or lock them away. I for one want my grandchildren to play and be kids. I also want to them to be safe and grow to be adults. I also know I can't protect them against every evil thing and person.
Danger is real. Learning to deal with it responsibly and well is a tricky thing I believe everyone must try to accomplish.
Do I have fears? Heck yes! Do I let them rule my life? Heck no! Do I take precautions? Yup, wherever possible. I choose to pray for those who lost family and friends today that they might find comfort. I choose to try to live without the added fear of what if!
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Thoughts On Happiness
Blog post #15 of 365
I was thinking about happiness yesterday. It doesn't really take much to make me happy and by happy I mean content. There aren't too many days that I would say I am not content at least a good part of the day.
Everyone has something to stress about. I believe I have the normal stresses everyone else does and maybe some everyone doesn't but I try not to let them get to me. I don't dwell on them. Every once in a while I get stuck in a dark place. But I find for me it is a thought process that pulls me in and but also what drags me out.
I have friends who are definitely clinically depressed and I know what that looks like. For them there is no way of "snapping out of it." Although I really wish there was a magic phrase or act that could help everyone "snap out of it!" For those friends finding the right pill or combination of pills usually puts them on a path to contentment or at least out of the dark. This post is not direct at people with a chemical imbalance who need chemicals to get better. I know the truth of their needs. I wish it was different for them.
Yesterday I had two conversations about depression and how everything in your life, both past and present can fold in on you without warning. Past traumas or events (I'll just call them events) can haunt you for a very long time. Even after you have pulled it out and "faced it." Lets face it we are looking at those events in a personal up close perspective and sometimes when you are too close you can't focus on the bigger picture. Every one of us is the product of their upbringing and environment. The way we grew up, the environments we know and those events will always effect the way we deal with other parts of our lives. The question remains why do they knock some people down over and over again while others seem to just "deal with it"? It puzzles me.
I believe happiness is about being content with what you have and where you are. (Again I am not including the masses because those chemical imbalances are a real fight.) It isn't that you don't want more or different, it is just that you have made the decision to be content with where you are mentally and physically. So you work your way to better places and it becomes easier to be content or maybe you discover where you were is better than where you are and you step back to be more content.
That expression "go to your happy place" always makes me giggle a little because I have many happy places. Anyplace with my family, especially my kids and grandkids, is my happy place. I can also be perfectly happy all by myself. I don't need to be with people to be happy nor do I need to be alone to be happy. So my happy place isn't a destination. I have learned to be content wherever I am.
Happiness is directly connected to your thoughts. Kind of how seeing or hearing something beautiful, or when someone smiles at you unexpectedly, or even a kind word or deed can lift your mood. Those events "changed" your mood. But really those events changed nothing but your thoughts about those things changed your mood. More than our thoughts but our reaction changed us.
Those are my thoughts on happiness. May we all find contentment this holiday season and all year long!
I was thinking about happiness yesterday. It doesn't really take much to make me happy and by happy I mean content. There aren't too many days that I would say I am not content at least a good part of the day.
Everyone has something to stress about. I believe I have the normal stresses everyone else does and maybe some everyone doesn't but I try not to let them get to me. I don't dwell on them. Every once in a while I get stuck in a dark place. But I find for me it is a thought process that pulls me in and but also what drags me out.
I have friends who are definitely clinically depressed and I know what that looks like. For them there is no way of "snapping out of it." Although I really wish there was a magic phrase or act that could help everyone "snap out of it!" For those friends finding the right pill or combination of pills usually puts them on a path to contentment or at least out of the dark. This post is not direct at people with a chemical imbalance who need chemicals to get better. I know the truth of their needs. I wish it was different for them.
Yesterday I had two conversations about depression and how everything in your life, both past and present can fold in on you without warning. Past traumas or events (I'll just call them events) can haunt you for a very long time. Even after you have pulled it out and "faced it." Lets face it we are looking at those events in a personal up close perspective and sometimes when you are too close you can't focus on the bigger picture. Every one of us is the product of their upbringing and environment. The way we grew up, the environments we know and those events will always effect the way we deal with other parts of our lives. The question remains why do they knock some people down over and over again while others seem to just "deal with it"? It puzzles me.
I believe happiness is about being content with what you have and where you are. (Again I am not including the masses because those chemical imbalances are a real fight.) It isn't that you don't want more or different, it is just that you have made the decision to be content with where you are mentally and physically. So you work your way to better places and it becomes easier to be content or maybe you discover where you were is better than where you are and you step back to be more content.
That expression "go to your happy place" always makes me giggle a little because I have many happy places. Anyplace with my family, especially my kids and grandkids, is my happy place. I can also be perfectly happy all by myself. I don't need to be with people to be happy nor do I need to be alone to be happy. So my happy place isn't a destination. I have learned to be content wherever I am.
Happiness is directly connected to your thoughts. Kind of how seeing or hearing something beautiful, or when someone smiles at you unexpectedly, or even a kind word or deed can lift your mood. Those events "changed" your mood. But really those events changed nothing but your thoughts about those things changed your mood. More than our thoughts but our reaction changed us.
Those are my thoughts on happiness. May we all find contentment this holiday season and all year long!
Monday, December 10, 2012
A Few Simple Rules to Live By
Blog post #14 of 365
Life is short, too short to waste on worry & regret.
Break the rules sometimes, but remember to live within the spirit of the rules.
Forgive quickly, openly and fully because if you don't you're cheating yourself of the freedom forgiveness brings.
Kiss slowly with passion and cheerfulness.
Love truly & completely.
Laugh uncontrollably & often.
Regret & guilt never solve anything so forgive yourself and move on because we all make mistakes.
Remember the people who inspire you, love you, appreciate you, love you, and especially the ones who change you for the better!
Smile like you have a secret because it will usually come back to you and will almost always make people wonder..
Life is short, too short to waste on worry & regret.
Break the rules sometimes, but remember to live within the spirit of the rules.
Forgive quickly, openly and fully because if you don't you're cheating yourself of the freedom forgiveness brings.
Kiss slowly with passion and cheerfulness.
Love truly & completely.
Laugh uncontrollably & often.
Regret & guilt never solve anything so forgive yourself and move on because we all make mistakes.
Remember the people who inspire you, love you, appreciate you, love you, and especially the ones who change you for the better!
Smile like you have a secret because it will usually come back to you and will almost always make people wonder..
I Am Made Up of Flaws
Blog Post #13 of 365
I have made many mistakes and I am flawed.
But I have good intentions.
I am good at being me.
I am valuable.
I like who I am.
I figure I'd lay it all out there for you and then you can decide if you want to take me or leave me because I am okay with the flaws. I may not be proud of everything I have ever done but in the end everything has made me a better version of myself.
I have made many mistakes and I am flawed.
But I have good intentions.
I am good at being me.
I am valuable.
I like who I am.
I figure I'd lay it all out there for you and then you can decide if you want to take me or leave me because I am okay with the flaws. I may not be proud of everything I have ever done but in the end everything has made me a better version of myself.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Thinking About Money!
Blog post # 12 of 365
This morning I was thinking about money. I rarely have any these days but it occurred to me that the amount of money I have is directly in proportion to the way in which I think about money.
I have piggy banks and every time I find myself with a pocket or purse full of change I put it in one of the banks. I know people who give all of their change away because they can't be bothered to count it out. Change somehow is beneath them but my grandmother said if you see a penny and walk away from it you won't be able to see the dollars to pick them up either. I never see many dollars on the ground but I wonder if she didn't mean that with every cent you pick up you work your way to the dollars. She said found money was a gift from God and a reminder to watch out more money to come. She was a firm believer picking up the pennies. She said if you keep a close eye on the little details in your life the big ones will stay in focus as well.
As I was putting some pennies in my bank this morning I thought of all of the times I have scanned the couch for money. I thought of all of the times I not only scanned the couch cushions but checked every change return in every vending machine and pay phone I could find, picked up bottles and cans praying I'd have enough money to get through the day. That I could would have enough to pay a bill, buy gas or eat.Yes I have had some really rough times. The times a few pennies could make the difference between a bag of noodles or some actual protein. I got good at finding the coupons I needed and checked the ads for the best bargain to make up for the money I knew I lacked. These days I wouldn't have to go couch scanning for change because there is at least one piggy bank in nearly every room and some in the coin box in the van too.
Life hasn't always been slim but I am grateful for the slim times. I have learned to live within my means. To make due with what I have. I wonder how people who never had to struggle learn to appreciate the little things this life offers every day.
This morning I was thinking about money. I rarely have any these days but it occurred to me that the amount of money I have is directly in proportion to the way in which I think about money.
I have piggy banks and every time I find myself with a pocket or purse full of change I put it in one of the banks. I know people who give all of their change away because they can't be bothered to count it out. Change somehow is beneath them but my grandmother said if you see a penny and walk away from it you won't be able to see the dollars to pick them up either. I never see many dollars on the ground but I wonder if she didn't mean that with every cent you pick up you work your way to the dollars. She said found money was a gift from God and a reminder to watch out more money to come. She was a firm believer picking up the pennies. She said if you keep a close eye on the little details in your life the big ones will stay in focus as well.
As I was putting some pennies in my bank this morning I thought of all of the times I have scanned the couch for money. I thought of all of the times I not only scanned the couch cushions but checked every change return in every vending machine and pay phone I could find, picked up bottles and cans praying I'd have enough money to get through the day. That I could would have enough to pay a bill, buy gas or eat.Yes I have had some really rough times. The times a few pennies could make the difference between a bag of noodles or some actual protein. I got good at finding the coupons I needed and checked the ads for the best bargain to make up for the money I knew I lacked. These days I wouldn't have to go couch scanning for change because there is at least one piggy bank in nearly every room and some in the coin box in the van too.
Life hasn't always been slim but I am grateful for the slim times. I have learned to live within my means. To make due with what I have. I wonder how people who never had to struggle learn to appreciate the little things this life offers every day.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Criticism Does NOT Promote Change
Blog post #11 of 365
Many people have a misguided belief that criticism promotes change.
It doesn't. It may spur change but it may just as easily cease or even reverse
growth. Paying attention is the key for both the one criticizing and those
being criticized. There is such a thing as constructive criticism. But it has to be constructive.
For the critic analyze why and how much you are saying.
For
the recipient be mindful the critic may just be having an off day but may have
a point or two worth listening to and changing.
If you want change lead by example.
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