Kidamony

Blog post #418 of 365

I went shopping yesterday. I hate shopping. I put it off until the last minute for a number of reasons. I won't list them but if you have paid any attention to my other blog posts you might have some idea. Putting it off meant I went to four different stores. It wasn't a bunch of fun.

While at my first stop as I was going up the isle I saw a lady and her young daughter arguing about what to purchase. The kid was whining that she needed organic items for her school lunches. Her mom was telling her she already had things at home to put in her lunch. Afterward as I was paying for my purchases I noticed the woman was also checking out just behind my checker. She was buying the items she and her daughter had been discussing. I also notices the little girl with a smug satisfaction and her requests went by. I guess I was hopeful for a little look of gratitude or something but that smirk was so off putting. I wish her mom had seen it.

At my third stop as I was checking out I hear screaming behind me. I didn't catch the entire exchange but I did hear the dad say, "Just give it to him so he'll quit yelling." It was a big bag of candy. Which was open and spilling everywhere before I was done checking out. The child obviously used this tactic often. He was probably three sizes larger than his frame could handle.

Then I come home and read a blog about giving kids everything they want. It was a random share by a Facebook friend. http://wearethatfamily.com/2014/01/what-really-happens-when-we-give-kids-everything-they-want/ After reading it it didn't feel so random.

I have a few friends and some family who have very spoiled children. They wear designer clothes and never want for anything. Or so it appears. I know for some it is grandparents and relatives who just spoil the kids but what will happen when the Grandparents aren't there anymore? Worse what will happen to these kids who never learned that money does not grow on trees when they grow up. Will they flounder and end up hooked on drugs as the blog suggested.

For decades kids have been getting participation awards, school accolades for attending, holding a 'B' average, and more. Kids gain a false sense of self esteem this way. They should be proud of what they have accomplished not praised for breathing. Kids are watching people on TV and on the computer become celebrities for being rich and spoiled. Or worse for being ignorant. No wonder they want more for nothing.

Parents are holding teachers and schools accountable when their kids bully others or fail out. Really, where is the accountability of the kids and the parents? What is going to happen to these kids when they one day wake up and find the world isn't just going to give them what they want? Oh right I forgot. When they walk on to the college campus their first week, there will be people handing out freebies to sign up for credit cards and the kids will jump at this new found freedom. They will end up graduating with a mountain of school loans and credit card debt. Okay so some will have mommy and daddy provide the college money and maybe even the credit card. I don't think it is a good idea but whatever.

These kids have come to believe they deserve the spoiling, the awards for doing nothing and the lazy lifestyle they have become accustom to. One day I would not be surprised if a kid didn't sue a parent for not properly preparing them for life. Call it Kidamony.

My kids had it rough. They had to help out. They knew if they made a mess they had to clean it up. They learned how to cook and clean and do laundry. They had chores to do. They didn't have designer labels or a free ride. They were expected to pitch in. They did volunteer work in the community from the very start and do you know what? They lived through it! Not only that they thrived. They learned to make do with what they had and really work hard for what they wanted. They learned that mom wasn't a push over. They learned the value of a dollar.

Do they make the best choices now? Not always. But they all have jobs. More than half have gone on to college and they are all contributing members of society. Am I mother of they year (ever)? Heck no! But did I do the best I could? Absolutely.

Now you might ask if I would have spoiled them if I had the means? Maybe a little is my honest answer. But they would have still volunteered in the community, worked for extras and really known they were loved, not by what I purchased for them but for what I instilled in them. The honest value of a dollar.

My kids still call me to help them with this or that. I'm okay with it. They ask because they know it or that I can help them figure it out for themselves. The best part is when we're done they say thanks mom and I know they mean it. In turn I am grateful for kids who work hard and know how to put others first.

Being a parent is hard and the job never ends. The best I can do is let them know they are loved and guide them when they need it.

May you never be the first parent to be sued for kidamony.