Happy People

Blog post #127 of 365

I just read this is a different blog and thought I'd pass on my thoughts which you will see in italics after each post. (http://successify.net/2012/10/31/22-things-happy-people-do-differently/)

1. Don’t hold grudges.

Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your well being, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Nothing good comes from holding a grudge. You give away too much power and use too much energy holding the darn thing. 

2. Treat everyone with kindness.

Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships. Not to mention that karma works and what comes around goes around and you get what you give. Who doesn't want kindness?

3. See problems as challenges.

The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge. Just try looking at things from a different perspective. There is always more than one. A challenge is what got me into this... I love a challenge. 

4. Express gratitude for what they already have.

There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have. What a waste of energy to want what isn't available and to take for granted what you do have. Always show gratitude if to nobody else express it to God. Do you want to give more to the ungrateful child? I know I don't!

5. Dream big.

People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state. I'm not saying all dreams come true only that you get what you ask for so dream big. 

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life. Pick your battles and duck the drama whenever possible.

7. Speak well of others.

Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts. Don't lie but remember Flower's mama said, "If you can't say something nice don't say nothing at all." Wise mama. But even the most vile people have some good quality make it your goal to dwell on the good.

8. Never make excuses.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better. Own your words and actions. It may not be your "fault" but figure out a way for whatever went wrong not to happen again. "repeating the same behavior expecting different results..."

9. Get absorbed into the present.

Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses. Seriously great words. If you are present and you find things are not what you want then go someplace else but pay attention to where you are and who you are with and why you are there.

10. Wake up at the same time every morning.

Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state. I'm not sure I like this one although my body just has a timer that wakes me the same time every morning.

11. Avoid social comparison.

Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs. You can compare anything to anything but that doesn't mean it will have the same result every time. There are variables everywhere. Do your best and measure improvements.

12. Choose friends wisely.

Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself. I try to cut out those with a flare for the dramatic. I have really great friends. I love them for their lack of drama! I love them for their supportive ways! I love them for their honesty. I love them for knowing my flaws and loving me back anyway!

13. Never seek approval from others.

Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own. Listening is important but seeking approval isn't necessary. Especially if you aren't going out of your way to be negative and nasty.

14. Take the time to listen.

Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel. Talking is fine but paying attention is better. Listening is important in every relationship even the casual ones.

15. Nurture social relationships.

A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other. Take time to love people. Depressed people want to stay in bed and sleep, duh!

16. Meditate.

Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves. Not for everyone. No really some can't hold still long enough to do it right but it isn't in your nature just slow down a little and breathe.

17. Eat well.

Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape. Eat better. No fads or cutting off the stuff you love but moderation. 

18. Exercise.

Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment. Also not for everyone. Move more. Do what you can. Make it fun. Dance, play, learn something physical and you'll be good. I have health issues that make it hard but I do what I can.

19. Live minimally.

Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items. Live simply. Buy something get rid of something. Who needs 500 pairs of shoes?

20. Tell the truth.

Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it. It is too hard to keep in front of a lie so just don't. It makes life simpler and easier. But be nice. Remember if you can't say something nice...

21. Establish personal control.

Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth. Sometimes this is impossible. Marriage and youth are two examples. Don't compromise so much that you lose who you are. Make the best possible choices when they are placed before you. 

22. Accept what cannot be changed.

Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better. Again sometimes you can't control things. You certainly can't control others so take control of you and do what you can to be the best you available.

So are these things essential to happiness? I would say most are but can you be happy and not follow these tips? Sure. But reevaluate your happiness level. Make changes as necessary. Love yourself and love those who deserve your love.