I loved being a mom.
I didn't mind diapers or being up and down all night. I didn't mind rolling out of bed to get everyone ready for a wonderful day of whatever. Most of the time I was the last one in the bathroom and the one pulling it all together but that is half of the fun. There isn't a lot of glamour in motherhood. I watch TV shows and the moms all look so put together yet I never wore pearls like Mrs. Cleaver. I picked blouses that would hide the baby barf and put my hair in a pony tail and most days never put on a lick of makeup. I would rather spend the time with my kids that have a beauty regimen.
I love the ordinary parts of being a mom. Looking for the first tooth. Watching for they day they discover their feet or hands. Helping them balance for those first steps. Watching them discover their world. I loved the million and one questions. I loved teaching them to tie their shoes and how to fasten buttons. I loved their art and hung it on the walls, not just the fridge. I tried teaching right from wrong. I made sure to meet their teachers and friends. I loved helping them hold the stuff until the glue dried. I watched with joy when they triumphed. I cried when they struggled or felt like they weren't good enough.I encouraged them to keep trying and moving forward no matter what. I praised their efforts and prayed for their health and safety every day.
I would never give up the time I had with my kids. Because they were my world and made me want to be a good human. I folded laundry and did dinner dishes when they slept so I could spend our awake time together.
They didn't have everything they wanted but they always had what they needed.
We had little adventures. We fished. We looked for cool bugs. We went to parks and zoos. We flew kites. We walked in the woods and along the beaches. We hung out with their grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins. We played board games and put together puzzles. We read books and had Nerf wars. We watched movies and played video games. We celebrated birthdays and holidays as if they mattered because family time matters.
We hugged and we still hug.
I didn't have support. Nobody took my kids for the day or over night or for the weekend. Not even when I was very ill. I just did what I could and when I needed to we did everything in bed. We discovered we could do anything we put our collective efforts into.
I kept the struggles from my kids. They never really knew how hard their lives were at times. They never knew how I paid one bill one month and the next another because I couldn't do both. They never saw how creative I could be with what I had left in the pantry and fridge. They never knew the nights I sat up worrying about their care and welfare. They never heard my silent cries in the shower. No matter how hard things got I never gave up. All of those things matter and they make a difference. They mean something.
They saw me sing. They saw me play. They saw me work. They saw me give. They saw me show compassion. They saw me stand up for what is right. They saw me stand up for them. They knew I'd be there to help them. To bandage their owies and kiss them better. They saw my brave smile. Those things matter too.
All of those things good and bad add up to something pretty spectacular. Yup being a mom.
I am realistic. I'm not perfect. I made mistakes but I did what I could. I did what I needed to. I would do it all over again just to see how amazing my kids turned out to be. Not perfect but pretty wonderful.
I loved that my dreams were wrapped up in my kids and their accomplishments. They still are.
I love that for me having the opportunity to be a mom is fulfilling enough if I never accomplished any other thing in my life, being a mom is enough.
There is no such thing as supermom. But there are a lot of really super moms. And dads.
So moms and dads who might read this, just do your best. Put your kids first. Don't give up or give in no matter how hard it gets and at times it will seem impossibly difficult. Everything will fall into place and your life will have meant something special.
Being a mom is cool. Don't ever forget it!
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