"Fine" The Big Fat Lie

The word "Fine" is defined as - a freedom from impurity - very thin in gauge or texture, not coarse, very small, keen, very precise or accurate, physically trained - delicate, subtle, sensitive, distinct - superior in kind, quality or appearance, excellent - ornate - very well, all right.

Someone you know walks up to you and asks, "How are you doing?" and you automatically say, "Fine." Someone you don't know (check out clerk, bank teller, server, police officer, firefighter, sales associate, etc) asks, "How are you doing?" and you usually say, "Fine." You go to your doctor who asks, "How are you doing/feeling?" and you almost automatically say, "Fine."

Fine is not always fine. In fact it can more often than not be a big fat lie. The truth is does the asker really want to know how you are doing/feeling? I would say no. I would say they like you and I are making small talk, trying not to be rude or establishing a relationship to further converse on the subject at hand.

The truth is that an automatic "Fine" answer is in some ways causing more harm than good. We don't want to burden people with the truth - "I'm tired." "I'm in pain." "I'm frustrated." "I'm angry." "I'm discouraged." "I'm a little lonely." We don't want to bring others down. We don't want pity. We don't want them to feel bad because they might be helpless to change things. But why not be honest? Especially if the person we are talking to we may never see again or better yet the person may be able to console us or lift us up. Wouldn't the Lord want us to allow others to help lift us up?

The worst is when I take my mom to the doctor and her pattent answer of "Fine." In a way the answer negates her getting the help she might need. If you are going to answer fine to a doctor don't expect him or her to take you seriously when you tell the truth about your ailments, pain, new symtoms etc. It has become a pet peeve of mine. Be honest with the doctor!

Better yet the next time someone/anyone asks, "How you are doing/feeling?" try being honest. I am not saying burden people I am just saying be honest. For instance "I've been better." Works for any kind of bad day or ailment and doesen't burden the asker or shut down the conversation. But if you are having a good day share the goodness. If you are happy say so. Why hide behind "I'm fine."? I just don't see why of all the lies we could or should tell we choose to pick "I'm fine."

Yes, I believe sometimes a lie by omission is a good thing. I don't believe it is a good thing to hurt feelings just for the sake of being honest. Like when answering does this make me look fat? Chances are the question was a fishing trip for a compliment.

Fine is not always fine... sometimes it is a big fat lie!