Cherie ONWEY

The Random Reasons & Answers of January's Facebook Questions.

2012-02-01T19:31:00.000-08:00

I posed 30 seemingly random questions this month on Facebook. Some were kind of random while others were provoked by something I read or thought about. The questions started as an experiment to see if people A) read my posts. B) would respond to random questions and C) would catch on to the month of questions.

I figured it would only be fair to tell you where the questions came from and to answer the questions as well. So here goes...

Isit better to have a broad shallow knowledge of much or a narrow deep knowledgeof something specific? 1/2

This question was posed in a book I was reading. It made me think of all of the people I know who have lots of knowledge and little expertise and those who have much expertise and little else.

My answer is that I feel it is best to have a broad knowledge base but finding things that interest you in order to have a deeper understanding is awesome.

Whichis more important wisdom or intelligence? 1/3

This question was posed when I heard someone say wisdom and intelligence are the same thing. It isn't in my book. Many intelligent people are not wise and many wise people are not intelligent. I have met many special needs individuals who may not be the most intelligent but have been very wise. Which leads me to believe that wisdom comes from understanding, love kindness, and some growth.

My answer is that to be intelligent is nice but being wise is better and having a good balance of both is best!

Isit better to be street smart or book smart? 1/4
This question was posted because I have really strong feelings about being smart and I know there are a number of ways to be smart. Everyone has sense but not everyone has common sense.
My answer is life smart is best. I mean learning everything you can along the way and not narrowing in on one way to learn. Experiences are awesome, learning by watching others is great and proactively picking up a book are the best way to get a well rounded set of smarts!

Isit always black or white? Or do you see shade of gray? 1/5
This question is about rules and following them.
My answer is nothing is ever black and white. Gray surrounds us yet the rules are there so we may make informed choices. I also see a rainbow of possibilities.

Whenit comes to obstacles do you avoid them, go around them, climb over them orknock them down? 1/6
This question came from watching people make mistakes.
My answer is every obstacle is there to help us learn and grow. How we choose to overcome each obstacle is up to us but learning from each experience with obstacles is what counts most. So yes I will climb over, barrel through and go around when I need to but I don't like to let things stop me from progressing forward.

Doyou learn by watching, by hearing how or by doing? 1/7
This question comes from a study that claims we all learn the same way. I disagree because in the classroom I have seen kids who only get it if they approach the question in a way that works for them.
My answer is I learn from watching and doing most of the time. I like to read about how to do things but never perfect anything until I try it myself a few times.

Hotand spicy or sweet and tangy? 1/8
This question was posed to see perspective. Did people think I was asking about personality or food.
My answer for food is I like to taste my food so more spicy than hot or and more tangy than sweet for me. As far as my personality I think I am a little more on the sweet and tangy side but I have been known to have a little kick as well.

Somedays I question everything. Other days I question nothing. What do youquestion? 1/9
This question was more about wondering if anyone was actually noticing a question every day. I don't know if anyone is really paying too close of attention.
My answer is I am naturally curious and want to know so yes I'll probably ask.

Doyou ever wonder if people actually look in the mirror in the morning after they get ready forthe day? 1/10
This question came from watching people looking ridiculous and wondering if they even own a mirror.
My answer is yes I wonder if people look in the mirror before they start out in the morning and often wonder if the mirror is at time totally neglected by some people.

Whatdoes your perfect day look like? 1/11
This question came after hearing a snippet of the song "Perfect Day" from Legally Blonde.
My perfect day is a day spent with family and or friends, with no drama, lots of laughter and usually good food.

Whatis your limit? 1/12
This was a random question posed to see what people would respond with. I mean the limit to what should have come up.
My answer is I have limited everything so I take advantage of every blessing and see blessings for what they are.

Whatscares you? 1/13
This question was posted after seeing a post of paraskevidekatriaphobia, which is theillogical fear of Friday the 13^th.
My answer is I don't think I have any real phobias but I do detest creepy things (bugs, spiders, reptiles etc) sneaking up on me. I wouldn't say they scare me so much as startle me. I do get anxious from time to time & you can startle me however overall I don't get scared much.

Doyou seek guidance or try to do it all on your own? 1/14
I love this question in general even though it just popped up randomly.
My answer is yes. I do what I can on my own but I know when to ask for help when I need it. I am not above asking for help or advice.

Whatwould you do differently? 1/15
This question was prompted by someone whining about their life.
My answer is I would probably do everything about the same since I didn't have the wisdom then to do better. Given the wisdom of time I have today I might have changed a few things but still not much. I love my kids and I have great friends.

Howeasily can others change your mood? 1/16
This question was also prompted by other people whining about their lives.
My answer is not as easily as in years past. Mood is more about attitude and I'm working hard to keep a positive one.

Whatdo you want to be when you grow up? 1/17
This question was posed after someone said they never want to grow up.
My answer is to be a good grandparent, parent and friend. There is nothing wrong with growing up as long as you are young at heart and in spirit.

Doyou take advantage of every day as the gift it is? 1/18
This question was prompted by people who have much not seeming to appreciate what or who they have.
My answer is I try to appreciate every day. I do not always live every day to the fullest but that would be exhausting. I share my world with other people I willingly give much and thus do not always give as much to myself.

Howimportant is change? 1/19
This was just a random question.
My answer is very. Without Change the world would become boring and growth would be impossible.

Is curiosity a talent? 1/20
This question prompted by a quote, "I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious." To which I said, "Everyone has a talent... some way better than others. Can you imagine how much better the world would be if everyone passionately used their talents and their curiosity?" Which made me wonder if anyone thought curiosity is a talent.
My answer is yes. I believe curiosity is a tool and a talent if used well and right.

Doyou ever wonder how little people (ages about 2 to 6) come up with all of thoserandom questions? 1/21
This question was prompted by a video post of a toddler's questions.
My answer is I always wonder not only how they come up with the questions they ask but what happens to the passion to know the answers once they get a few years older and why does the brain appear to leave in some people once puberty hits.

Whatmakes your day better? 1/22
Again looking at people whining prompted this post.
My answer is it depends on the day but some things always make my day better. My kids, grandkids, family and friends always make my day better!

Isyour mechanic good and nice? 1/23
This question prompted by my mechanic.
My answer is absolutely. He fixed two cars in less than 4 hours for $40. Both cars work and my pocketbook expected at least $20 to $30 more on that tab. I love when that happens.

Areyou happy? 1/24
This question was prompted by a friend who once said he wondered what happiness is and if he will ever be happy.
My answer is I am content and content is good. Happy is a bonus that happens nearly every day several times a day for a little while anyway.

What is your favorite noise? 1/25
This question was posted on the tail of a post asking for a favorite sound. Kids laughing and rain being the top two answers but I wanted to know what noise is on the top.
I'm going with the local racetrack noise. It is a combination the hum of the cars and the cheer of the crowd. My favorite everything does change on a regular basis but as I write the track wins!

What makes you tick? 1/26
This question is totally random.
My answer the people I love who sustain me and learning which keeps me from getting bored.

Who do you love? 1/27
This question is in honor of the big V day coming up next month and all of the people on my list.
My answer is I have a list of family and friends I love. There is always room in my heart to love more.

Exactly what makes someone a "foodie"? Is it liking food or being willing to try anything once? 1/28
This question was posted after reading and looking at what seemed like endless restaurant check ins, food announcements (like what I ate/made/am thinking about eating) and food photos?
My answer is I think being a foodie is about the enjoyment of food more than just liking food because we all have to eat and we are drawn to what we like. I don't think it is solely trying any food because I know some pretty pick people who love and obsess about food. Nope I think foodies are people who really enjoy the sight, smell and eating food. I also believe to be a true foodie you must find balance enough not to obsess or over eat.

Is it premeditation if you don't go through with it? 1/30 (It should have been 1/29 but I skipped a day.)
This question was posted because of a past relationship with premeditation and no follow through. I was thinking about this concept while watching "Minority Report" years ago and again recently after watching "Person of Interest."
My answer is I hope not.

What is that smell? 1/30 (I posted two for 1/30 since I missed a post on 1/29.)
This question is common in our house. It is usually related to me cooking, painting, staining or something else that emits a smell but not always about me.
My answer today the smells have been chili, stain, and citrus.

Did you notice that I posted questions nearly every day this month? 1/31
This question was to see just how many people noticed and is leading to this blog post.
The answer is I did notice. I even noticed the day I missed posting a question. I appreciate the people who answered my random questions although I'm not sure anyone caught on to the daily questions this month.

It is good to know people read my posts and I didn't have to ask people to repost to prove they did. I hate those stupid repost posts. The ones that bug me most are the ones that either ask me to pray (I already do) and repost or prove I love God (those who know me know I do) by reposting or honor/remember those fighting/dieing from one disease or another (there are few diseases who haven't touched my life through friends or family and I honor all of them) but I don't need to prove it by reposting something you reposted that has been going around since social networking began.

Please be aware I read your posts. I pay attention even if I don't comment or "like" them. I appreciate your friendship and I love your willingness to share your life with me. To those who make me ponder the grand scheme of things and especially to those who make me laugh/giggle or smile thank you very very much!

Best Day Ever

2012-01-24T22:25:00.000-08:00

My friend recently wrote on his facebook page that he was having the "best day ever." I think he was a new dad or maybe grandfather. I can't remember for sure. The statement made me think of what my best day ever would have been. In truth, I was unable to come up with an answer.

I must be the luckiest person in the whole world because I've had many best days ever.

Everyone should believe the best day ever is the day they were born. Without that day there would be no days, let alone no best day(s) ever. Many people balk at the idea of celebrating becoming another year older. I find that response ridiculous because the alternative would mean you are dead or never existed in the first place.

For me I have five more best days ever! Starting with may 30th, then June 7th, then May 25th, then December 10th and finally February 8th which were the days my children were born. That would be five days that qualify for the best day ever! They were the best days for more reasons that you might think. I got to meet my new baby. I got to quit having the bad side effects of being pregnant which for me 4 out of 5 times were pretty intense. I got to end the anxiety of the wait that happens at the end of pregnancy and the questions every mom probably has. Like is he/she going to have 10 fingers & 10 toes, two arms, legs, eyes etc. or worse will they have a mental or emotional disability? And in the case of Cody I was so excited he was here because we were finally going to be able to go to Disneyland. It was a present I got for a birthday in April which I waited for because they don't let you ride many rides while you are pregnant.

I include the day my biological father walked out as one of the best days ever, which might seem odd to some. For us it marked the end of all of his daily abuse and the beginning of a household filled with less fear and hope for a future.

I include the day Dad died as one of the best days ever. He had been sick for a long time and wanted the release of death. It was a very good day. Who says the best day ever can't be tinged with a little sadness.

I include the day my grandchildren were born and even the days I found out they were coming as one of the best days ever. Grandkids are much better than kids. None of the pregnancy downside and all of the baby excitement and spoiling!

I include the day each of my kids graduated from high school as one of the best days ever. It was a goal the day they were born to see them through and not to let them give up. It was a tough road for at least two but so completely worth it.

I include the days my children were married as one of the best days ever. They love their spouses and I do too! There are marriages to come I imagine.

I include the day I survived as one of the best days ever. There were a lot of those days including a few accidents, an electrocution and a burst appendix along with a few less dramatic survivals as one of the best days ever.

See for me the best day ever are the days through the years that shape and define who I am. Those days were profoundly happy and some sad but they had lasting impact. The definition can be redefined and redefined for what makes particular day the best day ever. What may make today the best day ever may not be what makes tomorrow the every best day ever. It is those moments of celebration and sadness that make up who I am. The days that stand out are the best days ever!

8 Movie Rules

2012-01-24T19:38:00.000-08:00

There are rules when going to the movies.

Rule one be polite. The theater is not your private space and we all paid to get in and enjoy the show. Keep your comments to yourself, don't narrate what you see, no slurping or chomping your gum/food, keep your clothes on, make out in your own place on your own time, laugh at appropriate times at an appropriate noise level and keep your phone in your pocket/purse on vibrate.

Rule two buy at least one thing from the theater. Concessions at the movies are way over priced and the majority of people sneak in snacks and/or drinks. The reason those concessions are expensive have more to do with making the budget balance that sticking it to the consumer. Up until I discovered this fact it just irked me that the prices were so high. Now that I know I still think it is a better idea to sneak in healthier snacks. Okay my local theater is now offering better snacks but not what I want. Purchasing a drink or something means you both win.

Rule three bring it in take it out. Don't leave your crap behind. I realize they send employees in to clean up but they have limited time and I don't want to sit on your leftovers. Would you like people to come visit your house then leave a mess behind? Worse is to sneak in outside food then leave your wrappers behind. It kind of takes the sneak out of sneaking.

Rule four when sneaking in stuff to eat be mindful of the wrapper sounds and obnoxious food smells. Loud smells are just as bad as loud wrappers.

Rule five don't encroach on the space of others. Keep your arms and feet to yourself. The best choice is to try to keep space between you and me so if I have a seat open next to me keep moving unless absolutely necessary. Although you want to put your arms on the armrests so does the person next to you. You may also want to put your feet up on the seat in front of you but your feet do not belong in someone's ear or face or pulling their hair.

Rule six talking is okay only until the previews start. Some of us like to watch the previews and so just quit talking and giggling once they start.

Rule seven pay for your ticket. Buying one ticket does not entitle you to sneak into a second or third movie. You are not being as clever as you think. You are taking seats meant for paying customers. Kids see what you are doing. Sneaking in is stealing and the under paid employees don't need to clean up after you twice.

Rule eight check out the ratings before you go to the movie. There is nothing worse that the horrified gasp when someone finds out there is crude behavior, cussing, nudity or violence on screen in the movie with an R or PG rating. As a side note your minor children do not belong in all R rated movies and few to no PG rated movies. Yes it is nobody's business what you watch with your kids at home but let them be kids for as long as they can. Also at the theater they are often bored and unruly. Crying babies are not fun for you in the theater why would you do that to us too?

Eight is probably enough rules for now. There are others but these are the important and you need to get these down first. Yes, I am feeling pretty bossy right now.

Downsizing

2011-12-23T08:59:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been doing a lot of downsizing. Downsizing for me means getting rid of a lot of accumulated junk. Junk defined as stuff I no longer need or never probably needed in the first place. In the process I have come across a bunch of photos, genealogy and loads a things with memories attached.

Those memory attached items will really mess with ya every time! Why am I keeping this thing and is the time or place or reason I acquired it that significant? Who will care about it after I have passed? Is the person who gave it to me really going to care if I still have it or will they even know if I still have it? I don't expect that every single thing I have given people over the years is all cherished and loved and put in a place of honor. Things are just that things and the memories live on even after the thing is no longer around.

Most of the genealogy I've come across is to be honest a little boring. I like to know the blood lines/tree branches but I can do without the narrative that are mostly written by a child or relative of the person and not really the person who lived it. I also know that two people living in the same house can have very different stories about growing up there based on their own viewpoint of the life they lived. I am not in anyway trying to say that anyone is untruthful more that the perspectives can and in most cases will be entirely different. I think anything more than a few basic facts like place of birth, marriage(s), divorce(s), children, death, occupation(s) should be autobiographical. I know that if I wrote the story of any family member's life it would be totally from my perspective no matter how hard I tried to get the whole truth unless I was writing the story as told to by the person involved. I was blessed to have had long talks with my grandfather that completely changed my views of him as a person and some of the choices he made. I feel confident I could write what he told me and have it be his truth with only a little of my perspective. But anyone who never sat with him and talked might have the same thoughts I do about writing the story of someone else. We have boxes and files and bound books of genealogy but most of leaves me wondering for real truths.

The photos crack me up. The ones I was present at the time they were taken evoke memories both good and bad while others stroke the fires to try to remember when or where it was taken. We have so many photos and I am as guilty as anyone of putting them in a box without a date or label. I mean really who are some of these old people and how are they connected. The only ones I can truly identify are the ones I' personally can remember, like my grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings but there are other people in these photos who are probably family I never met or I just don't remember anymore. My mom and uncles were huddled around the computer the last time we were together trying to figure out who was in photos, when they were taken and where they were taken. It would be so much easier if we did that from the start. I look at these photos today and think I need to scan them all. Identify who is in them and make them available to friends and family... Then what to do with the hard copies? Remember I am downsizing.

This whole process is exhausting. If it were just me it might be easier but I have to consider the feelings of others. Will passing this on to someone who will use it hurt the feelings of the giver? Then I wonder if it is better to have the objects stuck in a box in the closet? That organizer on TV (Walsh I think) always said if it doesn't deserve a place of honor then it is okay to get rid of it. In a box in the closet isn't really a place of honor. I guess that would go back to the "treasure box" my mom made for us as kids to put the things we treasure that mostly became treasures because we didn't look at them every day but have special meaning. Those "treasure" boxes were always in our closets but if our new treasures didn't fit in the box we got rid of something to make space for a new treasure. Hey that might work.. I also wonder if I will regret tossing or giving away things? Why would I regret getting rid of the excess? Except when someone asks for it later on or when I find out later that something I had is worth money today. It takes a ton of time to research and then sell everything. Way too many questions to ponder as I go through this process....

Calenders

2011-06-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

Are calenders a sign of getting old? I wonder about these things.

When I was a kid the closest thing to a calender I had was the date on the chalkboard at the front of the class and the one on the bulletin board by the door. I never really thought about the date unless it was a holiday or there was a birthday coming up. Yes, I realize both had much to do with vacation time from school and maybe gifts but really as a child what else do you need to know.

As I grew older and my kids started having busier lives I had a calender in the living room to keep track of where people needed to go. I was a single mom of five kids so it was a necessity. The kids could write things down and look to see where I might be. (This was before the leash otherwise known as cell phone.)

My mother has always had a few calenders. For years a free one from the credit union always hung in the kitchen. It had birthdays and anniversaries marked on it. (She quit going in the kitchen much an hasn't had one in there for a few years now.) She has one in her pouch wallet thing that she has filled in every year too with everyone's birthdays and anniversaries then highlights them and usually has the age marked in there so she won't forget how old the little ones are. As she makes appointments with doctors and social engagements and church activities she marks them down too. Her mantra is if it isn't in the calender is isn't getting done. People started giving her pretty calenders for Christmas that she hung in the hallway but it was usually never marked. She still never goes in the kitchen so one hasn't hung there for a long time. Since I got tired of looking in her wallet to work out my schedule (I am her caretaker) I started writing her appointments on the calender in the hall.

About a year ago I hung a calender by the shelf where we keep the dog treats. Every day I mark down when I give them their vitamin or make eggs (they get a scrambled one when we do... spoiled I know.) I like to keep track of the vitamins. I don't trust my memory as much as I did before I was electrocuted. I have asked that people write down when they give them treats because after getting the dogs fixed the girls started to put on weight. Nothing like fat wiener dogs as a cliche. At the time we had four people giving the poor little things treat after treat to where they weren't even treats anymore but more like too many empty calories instead.

As I started doing PT after an accident a few months ago I put a calender up in my room to keep track of PT time and work outs. Kind of a progress report of sorts. It makes me feel like I've accomplished something to see the days filled in.

So today I'm noticing all the calenders I've added to my life. I think dang am I getting so old. I need to write that much down to keep track of it? I mean my kids have all nearly left home to begin lives of their own. The calenders are helpful tools but when did I get to the point I needed so many just to get by?

Turn pockets

2011-05-27T18:02:00.001-07:00

I’m having issues with turn pockets. Cities have gone to raised road dividers with hardscaped (a center divider with curbs on either side, usually with some sort of landscape in between the curbs). They have their problems.

One problem is maintenance. It seems like for some the bushes are scraping our cars before someone comes to trim them. They are often too small for a standard mower so weedeaters are used instead of mowers. These weedeaters usually toss pebbles and bits of debris at vehicles as they pass. The probability of them being "mowed" as I pass is in direct proportion to my window being in the down position. The maintenance personnel use cones as a buffer to protect themselves from passing vehicles being dangerously close which I understand but they block the turn lane altogether. There is also the types of plants placed in these hardscapes. Some have strongly smelling plant life that cause the allergies to flair up while others have trees that quickly grow too large for the space and require the roots to be trimmed and the curbs to be repaired or replaced over and over.

The second problem is the tendency for these pockets to be really tiny allowing very few vehicles to actually enter the turn pocket before it becomes blocked by vehicles going straight.

Lately I’ve noticed the trend to make the hardscaped dividers narrower along with all of the lanes until there is enough space to make it a two lane turn pocket. The problem with this idea is they are still too short to allow vehicles inside before being blocked by those going straight. Lately it often takes one or more frustrating lights just to enter the two lane turn pocket and one more frustrating light to actually make the left turn.

I’m sure some genius spent a lot of time designing this new two lane turn pocket but they didn’t think it through very well. What were they thinking?

Soul Mate

2011-05-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

It bugs me when people say they have met their soul mate. That they have found the one person they are supposed to spend the rest of their life with. I do believe that love can last forever. I do believe that some people fit together well. But only one I’m not so sure.

I believe there are soul mates. People whose souls touch, match, and belong or what have you. I believe that friendships and loves can be soul matches but I also believe people can be blinded by love and jump in too quickly to know if the match is real and lasting.

The problem I have with the idea of a soul mate is in believing there is one person meant for one person and none other in the world. If that were true what are the chances of these two individuals meeting at the right time in the right circumstance. I’d say it is pretty slim or even never. If you never meet your “soul mate” does that mean you remain alone for life? What if you meet the perfect match but are not aware until it’s too late or you meet too late to have the match work. For instance if you were to meet after you or they are married to someone else. That would negate the idea of one and only one true love. What happens when you loose a spouse. Does that mean you will never have love again?

I believe you meet people through your life that you connect with on a level more deep than a casual acquaintance, on a level deep down to your soul. I believe that souls connect. But I also believe that some of those connections are meant to be lasting friendships and not simply the love of our life.

I have a few friends, both male and female who are connected to my soul. People who get me and love me no matter what, and who I get on that same level. Those are the people in my life who know me so well they understand me before I even have to explain myself. The kind of friend I may not see or hear from for long periods of time but can catch up with in a matter of minutes. The kind of friend who I can talk to for hours and never ever run out of topics or things to laugh about. I feel fortunate and blessed to have known and loved these people. I know I am loved and it is a good feeling.

I have been married twice and both times I can say I loved them. However I can also say I understand why it didn’t work and why we aren’t together anymore. Am I looking for the one true love? Nope! For me love will happen when it’s ready. I am old enough to recognize love when I experience it and smart enough to enjoy the opportunity should it arise. May everyone find love at least once in their lives and have as many “soul mates” as they connect with.

Shades of Gray

2011-05-20T19:46:00.001-07:00

There are rules that everyone should live by. Like the golden rule; do unto others as you would have them do unto you or the be attitudes of GBH “Be Grateful, Be Smart, Be Involved, Be True, Be Still, Be Humble, Be Clean, Be Positive, Be Prayerful” (not to be confused with the beatitudes Matthew 5:3-12 and Luke 6:20-26 although a very cool Bible passages) and the Moses tablets AKA the ten commandments.

I believe in right and wrong and in following the rules.

There are some rules that are absolutes in this world. It is always right to do your best. It is always wrong to do intentional harm to others. It is always right to love with your whole heart. It is always wrong to murder.

There are some rules that are more of a guideline and up for interpretation. You don’t have to agree with me but I believe everyone should understand intent of the rule. It is important to follow the spirit of the law as opposed to the letter of the law.

You can call these shades of gray if you want. Just remember the darker the gray the darker the offense and the less likely you are to be following the spirit of the law let alone the letter of the law.

Christmas

2010-11-26T20:58:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas. I mean I really love Christmas. Celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, making and keeping family traditions, and giving of ourselves.

I confess, I hate shopping. I hate the crowds, the commercialism, the parking and the grumpy feeling I get when I can't find what I need. However I love giving gifts. My favorite is when I am lucky enough to find one that yells out, "I BELONG TO _________!" Hopefully before you have already purchased a gift for that person.

The truth is the gifts I love giving most are the ones I have made. I have made Christmas presents my whole adult life. I wonder sometimes if I make presents because my mother and grandmother made presents. I'm not sure why more people don't make gifts. Maybe it has to do with lack. Lack of time, lack of self confidence, lack of creativity or maybe a combination. Whatever the reason I think we should at least try making a gift from time to time, if for no other reason than to build our talents and to show the people we love that we love them enough to give them a part of ourselves.

I was taught by my Heavenly Father that service is the best gift of all. So if you can't figure out something to make maybe you can figure out something to do for them. Either way there is no better gift than to give of oneself. Maybe this year you can do a little of both. I know I am!

"Fine" The Big Fat Lie

2010-06-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

The word "Fine" is defined as - a freedom from impurity - very thin in gauge or texture, not coarse, very small, keen, very precise or accurate, physically trained - delicate, subtle, sensitive, distinct - superior in kind, quality or appearance, excellent - ornate - very well, all right.

Someone you know walks up to you and asks, "How are you doing?" and you automatically say, "Fine." Someone you don't know (check out clerk, bank teller, server, police officer, firefighter, sales associate, etc) asks, "How are you doing?" and you usually say, "Fine." You go to your doctor who asks, "How are you doing/feeling?" and you almost automatically say, "Fine."

Fine is not always fine. In fact it can more often than not be a big fat lie. The truth is does the asker really want to know how you are doing/feeling? I would say no. I would say they like you and I are making small talk, trying not to be rude or establishing a relationship to further converse on the subject at hand.

The truth is that an automatic "Fine" answer is in some ways causing more harm than good. We don't want to burden people with the truth - "I'm tired." "I'm in pain." "I'm frustrated." "I'm angry." "I'm discouraged." "I'm a little lonely." We don't want to bring others down. We don't want pity. We don't want them to feel bad because they might be helpless to change things. But why not be honest? Especially if the person we are talking to we may never see again or better yet the person may be able to console us or lift us up. Wouldn't the Lord want us to allow others to help lift us up?

The worst is when I take my mom to the doctor and her pattent answer of "Fine." In a way the answer negates her getting the help she might need. If you are going to answer fine to a doctor don't expect him or her to take you seriously when you tell the truth about your ailments, pain, new symtoms etc. It has become a pet peeve of mine. Be honest with the doctor!

Better yet the next time someone/anyone asks, "How you are doing/feeling?" try being honest. I am not saying burden people I am just saying be honest. For instance "I've been better." Works for any kind of bad day or ailment and doesen't burden the asker or shut down the conversation. But if you are having a good day share the goodness. If you are happy say so. Why hide behind "I'm fine."? I just don't see why of all the lies we could or should tell we choose to pick "I'm fine."

Yes, I believe sometimes a lie by omission is a good thing. I don't believe it is a good thing to hurt feelings just for the sake of being honest. Like when answering does this make me look fat? Chances are the question was a fishing trip for a compliment.

Fine is not always fine... sometimes it is a big fat lie!

Movie Genre Or Not

2010-06-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

There are five basic kinds of movies - kids, family, teen, guy and chick flicks. Kid movies are geared to kids usually without regard to the parents that will attend these movies with their kids. Family movies are like kid movies but have a little more regard for the parents and tend to have humor at more levels than that of a third grader. Teen movies tend to have a more adult theme but with crass humor. Guy movies are filled with action tend to have more gore and be a little more explicit. Chick flicks are generally more romantic even to the mushy side and every chick flick has a relationship (dating/marriage/friendship etc.) involved.

Genre is a little different than the kinds of movies I listed above. There are a ton of genre - western, thriller, gore, documentary, action, adventure, mystery, romantic, drama, war, porn, cult, silent, comedy, sappy tearjerkers, animation and probably a few I am forgetting. Many of these genre combine to make a different kind of movie all together. A classic chick flick is the combination of romantic & comedy, classic guy flicks combine action & adventure, classic kid flicks are generally animated & comedy, while family movies usually take the edge off and combine the more adult versions of comedy, adventure, mystery etc. geared not to offend anyone particular age group.

Recently there have been movies that combine genres in a non traditional way that make them fall into more than one kind of the movies listed in paragraph one. One combination in particular I find completely amazing is that of action/adventure and romantic/comedy. As a fan of guy and chick flicks they are the perfect combination of both kinds of movies. Making them the best movies for me!

Bet you can tell I'm a movie fan.

Today I watched a movie review TV program. I usually never agree with the reviewers but sometimes I find them entertaining. They also tell me about movies not in my area or not out yet or that I may not have given a chance because I didn't know about them. All good reasons to watch but as I get older I am finding them less and less entertaining or informative. Today was especially frustrating since they spent a while bashing my new favorite kind of movie. Maybe it is because movie reviewers are generally men and tend to bash the romantic comedy anyway. So to all the movie reviewers out there who agree that a romantic/comedy and action/adventure can't be combined think again. There is a place for movies that fall outside the box. I'm thinking the perfect date movie!

Grandchildren

2010-06-20T20:59:00.000-07:00

Maybe the title should be grandsons because at this point I only have boys. I expect that to change one day but not too soon.

I have heard the saying, "If I knew how much fun grandchildren were I'd have had them first." In a way I get it but I don't agree. I adore my grandsons. I love spending time with them. Watching them grow and change is so wonderful. I enjoy finding the cute clothes, the best toys and great books for them.

When I watch my son with his sons I know I would never want to miss that part of being a grandparent. He adores them. He watched everything the nurses did to them from the moment they arrived till he and his wife took possession of their sons. He guarded them to make sure nothing bad happened to them. No unwanted moves, pokes or shots. He asked a ton of questions. The nurses were probably just wanting him to go sit with his wife.

This week my second grandson arrived. He is so adorable but I expected as much since he looks a lot like his brother who is so very cute. As I waited to meet my new grandson his brother stood guard at the nursery window pointing out his brother to every passerby. If they were not watching he got louder and more animated to make sure everyone saw his new brother.

I can't wait to watch them for the next few years turn in to the wonderful little men they will be. Will they continue to look similar? Will they be competitive? Will they play well together? All of those questions and more are swimming through my head this week. I also look forward to seeing how their parents parent. Will they do well? Will they do better than I did? I can only hope for the best and pray for them all.

I love my grandchildren.

End of School-itis

2010-05-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

It happens every year. The last few weeks of school the kids are itching to be done. They are bored with school, tired of projects, papers & presentations, and want the freedom of sleeping in.

Their behavior usually gets bad so for us subs life is not so fun. We try to keep them focused but usually we just manage to squelch the chaos that they seek.

These students forget what summer is like. They don't see their friends every day. They can sleep in but then what. Boredom strikes and about a month to a month and a half in they have back to school-itis. They really like the structure of knowing what they day will look like and seeing their friends every day.

I enjoy the summer but like the kids I like knowing what the day looks like. I enjoy the interactions with people outside my home. I love the crisp fall weather. Gosh school isn't even out yet and I have back to school-itis. Life is grand!

When I walk into a classroom...

2010-04-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

When I walk into a classroom to sub I never know what to expect. I can get everything or nothing. I have been in classrooms with organization and enough work to keep the class going and thinking. I have been in classrooms with only busy boring work where the students and I felt insulted. I have been in classrooms with no plans, no supplies and no hope of learning going on. Luckily I have the kind of personality that can make the hopeless classrooms enjoy moments of information and humor. If you can keep a balance of both it is possible they may walk away knowing more than they did going in.

When I walk into a classroom I am never sure what I will face. Some days it feels futile and other days it is so fulfilling. Today I saw learning going on. I saw successes. I saw kids with a bright start to their future. I saw my part in the learning. Days like this inspire me to continue teaching even as a sub.

What will my future look like?

Avitar & My Favorite New Word

2010-03-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

The highest grossing movie ever. So far anyway. I am sure one day something will beat it. I have heard a lot of guff about it but people also loved it or it wouldn't have hit such staggering attendance. I watched it and thought it was a grown up version of Fern Gulley. I loved Fern Gulley. It has a good message and is entertaining to watch. So was Avitar. Okay the costumes were skimpy but the visual effects were so amazing.

James Cameron has vision for sure. I watched an interview before the Oscars when he was talking about the film. He said he dreamed about the visuals when he was a young man. He described one of the scenes as fantasmagorical. I looked it up on the internet and not really knowing how to spell such a word I found it in the urban dictionary spelled fantamagorical and defined as a mixture of the words fantastic, amazing and magical. However I found the word spelled phantasmagorical in the Mirriam Webster online dictionary as "1 : an exhibition of optical effects and illusions 2 a : a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined b : a scene that constantly changes 3 : a bizarre or fantastic combination, collection, or assemblage." No matter how you spell it Mr. Cameron is right. It was an amazing, magical, fantastic, complex, collection of visual effects that sucked me in to the movie and kept me there.

I disagree with the critics that said it put humans in a bad light. It wasn't talking about all humans being greedy, mercenaries. I disagree with the critics that said it put the military in a bad light. Mercenaries are not the military. Anyone in the military will tell you they are not in it for the money. They are in it to serve and protect the freedoms we all love about America. I love the service men and women and the work they do. I pray that one day soon they all come home safe. I am grateful to those who put their lives on the line to make sure we can continue to live free and that the people they help in other countries as well. Thank you soldiers.

Okay A Little Out Of Order

2010-03-10T20:35:00.000-08:00

This is a little out of order cause I blogged on the Oscars before I blogged on the Olympics. Oh well it just hit me that way.

The winter Olympics were so much fun to watch. I have my favorite events but this year I recorded about 8 or 9 hours a day. I know you are thinking that is a lot of watching but not when you watch the way I did.

I watched nearly all of my favorite events, even the qualifiers. My favorite events are figure skating, luge, bobsled, snowboarding, and downhill skiing. I am not much of an ice dancer fan but this year I watched. I would watch other events but usually skipped till the finals or watched the countries that make me smile like the US, Australia, Finland, Russia, Canada, etc. I skipped all commercials and many of the goofy side stories. I skipped the scenery, weather reports and most of the interviews.

I enjoyed the opening ceremonies and really loved the the closing ceremonies.

In the past I usually tried to watch the figure skaters and catch the half pipe but his year I expanded my horizons. I really enjoyed the snowboard cross and the ski cross. I loved the snowboard and skiing down hills. It was awesome to see the bobsledders beat the odds. Shawn White rocked the half pipe. We had a local (Arcadia) figure skater. Bode Miller rocked the medals with one of each. There are just too many amazing and wonderful moments to recount. It was so much fun to watch.

In four years I might just do what I did this year.

Oscars

2010-03-10T19:52:00.000-08:00

I watched the Oscars this year. I usually don't. I am a huge movie fan and for years it bugged me to watch the movies I loved go without reward. This year I decided what the heck so I recorded it.

My friend Katrina was watching and tweeting her enjoyment and her frustrations. I loved her tweets. I finally decided to watch when they were about half over. Luckily I recorded clear through the news because I wanted to watch the last Barbara Walters special as well. Everything went over so I lucked out.

This year a woman director won. This year movies I loved were recognized. The year an actress I love won. I am excited!

Who knows maybe I'll watch again next year.

I Think My Version is Better

2010-01-03T21:37:00.000-08:00

Recently I read a post online that went like this:

Life is short,
Break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly,
Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably,
And never regret anything that made you smile.

My version is more specific:

Life is short too short to waste on worry & regret,
Live within the spirit of the rules,
Forgive openly, fully and quickly,
Kiss with passion and joy,
Love completely and unconditionally,
Laugh uncontrollably and often,
Always remember the people who touched your life,
And never regret the people, things and situations that made you smile.

Inspiring Words to Start 2010

2010-01-02T08:38:00.000-08:00

I decided to start off the new year with a few words to inspire me.
Encourage
Challenge
Define
Integrity
Movement
Nature
Intelligence
Miracle
Savior
Love
I find some words just make me want to do and think and be better.

I Believe in the Magic of Christmas

2009-12-26T20:50:00.000-08:00

I believe in the magic of Christmas.

There is something magical about people who love Christmas as much as my brother and sister in law and his mom . They invite all of us over to celebrate the season with yummy food, casual conversation and lots of laughs. This year we even played games.

I believe in the magic of Christmas.

There is something magical about the words used more frequently at Christmas time. Words like joy, faith, believe, peace and love. In our tiny house we put up a tiny tree and decorated it lovingly with ornaments made by my daughter in law with some of those magical Christmas words.

I believe in the magic of Christmas.

There is something magical about Santa Claus. I love the idea of someone who gives of themselves without thought of what might come in return. Who gives simply for the joy of giving. I love the idea that one magical night each year millions of people have their wishes come true. At least some of them anyway!

I believe in the magic of Christmas.

There is something magical about knowing that millions of people are celebrating the love and life of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know He loves me always and has provided a way for me to live with Him again one day. Knowing the example He set and the millions of people who try to be like him is magical!

I believe in the magic of Christmas.

There is magic in the way people put their differences aside and come together to celebrate as family. What other time of the year can you find a menorah in one window and a Christmas tree in another.

I believe in the magic of Christmas.

It is magical when people show the spirit of the season by their generosity. They purchase and make gifts for the people they love.

I believe in the magic of Christmas.

The magical feeling when we see how people have put up festive lights, decorated their homes, offices, and yards. Even when they may have gone too far in their endeavors there is magic in that too.

Some of our neighbors have minimal and simple decorations like Janette next door or Angie . Some spend hours making it look just the way they want. This neighbor was out there with a tape measure for four hours. Maybe he was trying to make it look good both day and night. Sadly I am not very impressed. But the neighbor at the end of the street did a much better job making their yard look fun and festive both day and night. My night shot does not do it justice though.
Then there are those who toss out everything like these two neighbors. Who like to take things to the extreme. (Same house with a different angle since it is a corner house.) And this neighbor whose yard is so full I can't get it all in one shot. It looks a little hideous both night and day. (Still can't get it all in one shot.) I have lovingly referred this last one as Christmas puke.

Thanks to my new neighbor Stephanie I have even learned to appreciate the Christmas puke. The homes and yards of the people who have gone overboard. The yards that look as if every decoration ever sold or given to them seems to find the most random place. Almost as if they opened the box and tossed the contents across the yard. Stephanie helped me see that these folks simply have unbridled spirit and don't feel the need to hold back.

This is Stephanie's decorations. A lot but not enough to be considered puke. Yes, there is even a little magic in Christmas puke.

I believe there is some magical things about Christmas...

Automated Sinks & Soap

2009-10-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

I went on my little rant about automatic toilets and meant every word but that isn't the end. While I was at church the other day I stopped to use the facilities and had a hard time getting soap. The thing was automated and kept dumping soap on the counter and not my hand. After a few attempts it finally worked but then I felt like I needed to try to clean up the mess. As I tried to get the soap from under the thing and dumped more soap on my hand about three more times. Jeez it was frustrating. I did manage to get the soap cleaned up and off my hands too.

Since the incident at the church I have had a few more incidents with automated sinks and soaps which made me remember prior incidents with these wonderfully frustrating things. Faucets in a public restrooms in my mind are covered in the most disgusting germs ever. The beauty of the automated systems are that we don't have to touch those germ covered things!

Then they came up with motion sensors in the soap dispensers. I am not too sure of why we need those. The tap to the dispensers are probably as disgusting as the faucets but they are dispensing the soap to wash those things away! The dispensers seem to work most of the time but when they don't it frustrates a little.

Unlike the toilets the automated sinks and soaps never startle me, splash me or make me feel lazy. They actually make me feel safer by allowing me not to touch public germs. I am grateful not to have to touch every germ left behind by others and not to share mine with them. I am not a germ-a-phobe but I don't like the idea of sharing germs with everyone either.

Still I am happy to have them. I just wish they would work better!

Automatic Toilets

2009-10-04T08:25:00.000-07:00

Do we really need automatic flush toilets? I wonder sometimes at our own laziness. Some might say inventiveness but the jury is still out for me.

The automatic flush is nice. Now we don't have to try to touch something a million germ filled hands have touched to flush the toilet when we are done. Isn't that why we wash our hands afterward? I mean it isn't hard to flush a toilet.

Then there is the quickness or in some cases slowness of the auto-flush toilets. Sometimes I can't even turn around and drop my pants before the thing is flushing my seat cover away. I mean really folks I should not have to drop my trousers before placing the seat cover in order to be able to sit on a covered seat. Worse I think is when I can't figure out if the flush is delayed flush or if the flush isn't working. Nothing like reaching for the button thinking the auto-flush isn't working to find it works just in time to splash you pant leg or arm as you try to execute your own manual flush. I have taken to using my cane to push the button.

Since the onset of these auto-flush toilets I have seen more and more unflushed toilets. It is like we are so used to them being there and working right we just don't bother to pay attention and make sure our waste does not become a problem for someone else. I almost always wait. When I am in a big rush I listen and when I don't hear the flush as I sprint to the sink then I wonder if the flush was delayed . I almost always go back and check if I don't hear it.

I think I am getting to be one of the lazy ones. I almost get annoyed when the old fashioned toilets are there. It is not that I mind flushing it is just something I have become accustomed to not have to do these days until I get into a stall without an updated toilet. Then I wonder why they haven't updated the toilets. Have I become judgmental?

The flush in public toilets are so powerful these days when they flush there is a big splash factor. I never know if the wet on the seat is the result of poor aim of the previous user or the power flush. So I find myself wiping them only to be splashed when the automatic flusher sees my shadow move to clear the seat.

The jury is still out for me. When they work right I love them when they don't I just shake my head and wonder.

Thoughts on Sex

2009-09-11T19:06:00.000-07:00

Why is sex a topic that make people clam up, blush, freak out, change the subject or otherwise show discomfort? Relax, lighten up and read on.

There are appropriate and not so appropriate settings to discuss sex but it should not be a taboo subject. Some images I'd rather not visualize so I get that sometimes people would rather not think about them let alone talk about them. Generalities are different though. The lines of communication should always be open especially between parent and child or between spouses.

I find sex to be a natural thing that should never be demonized. Nothing like telling someone sex is bad while growing up and then expect them to have a normal sex life later on.

I believe in sex education. People should know the risks and therefore make informed decisions. I don't think it is possible to teach abstinence but it is important for kids to know the parents rules/wishes. I believe if kids know what is right they will do what is right. They are kids though and should be reminded more than once.

My sex talk went something like this - Sex is a powerful act. The consequences are enormous. Birth control fails all the time. Condoms if not used right break or come off. You aren't allowed to have sex until you and your sexual partner are making enough money to raise a child and you have very good health insurance. If you decide to have sex you have to plan on raising the child, giving the child up for adoption or dieing. (All possible side affects from having sex.) If you have sex it should be with someone you know very well and are married to for the duration. In other words someone you plan to live with for the rest of your life. If the one you have sex with is not someone you could spend your life with then you should reconsider because chances are you could still be tied to that person for the rest of your life. When you have sex with someone you are also having sex with everyone they have had sex with (Gross!) so choose wisely.

As my kids began to date they were given the rules - No sex, no drugs, no alcohol and no smoking. I would give suitors the same sex talk I gave my own kids. Any guy that wanted to date my girls were also warned they could lose an appendage if they did not heed my advice to wait till marriage. Luckily two of my three sons waited till they were older to date.

Sex is something that should be shared by a committed couple and not random strangers. After all sex can kill! They didn't have these diseases 35 years ago. This information is a good deterrent for some young people.

Something as personal as a sex life should stay personal. Video taping is never a good idea. Still photos are also a bad idea. Even after marriage. They could get lost or heaven forbid you divorce and then what would happen.

As for me I am for sex with the right person, at the right time, in the right setting.

I must be getting old

2009-09-04T19:46:00.000-07:00

I am a little upset. I think I may be turning into a prude. As a young person I'd say I was adventurous and maybe even a little risque but not in a public way. As I age I have decided the world is becoming way too risque. People don't seem to give any thought to what this increasing lax of morals may be doing to the next generation and the next.

How about all of the cussing we see? Not just in the media but in public places and even in schools. I have been a teacher for a while and have been in classrooms both public and private from pre-K to high school. There is cussing at every level. Children in kindergarten are exposed to classmates who cuss on a regular basis. I once wondered how these children picked up the language but I have been watching parents. I see them cussing in front of and at their children. At first I thought it was just young (teen to early 20's) parents but even the older parents who should know better are being a bad example to their kids. Then add the media and these little people don't stand a chance.

When did it become okay to show what was once X rated content with an R rating? When I was a little girl movies faded to black or the camera panned to a blazing fireplace and everyone used their imagination to figure out what was happening next. Growing up there was an occasional half breast maybe a little nipple in the explicit movies. Later there was some of the same kinds of nudity. Just a brief glimpse here and there. Now on some movies and TV shows there is full on nudity both male and female. In recent movies I have watched the sexual images which have surpassed the images I once saw after being dared to sneak into a XXX theater. For instance "Monsters Ball" and more recently "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" were both nearly pornographic for what seemed to be the sake of getting attention. If I wanted X rated I'd rent some porn. You never know what you are in for these days when you walk into a theater and I see parents bringing little kids into PG and R rated movies every time. I pre-screened every movie I suspected would be inappropriate and banned my kids from seeing anything they were too young to see for whatever the reason.

It seems like people have lost their integrity. Those that still retain their integrity are a dieing breed. People don't seem to think twice about telling lies, stealing, cheating and being promiscuous. I wonder how soon it will be before 50 year anniversary celebrations will be a thing of the past.

I am sickened by the sick and twisted T-shirts, hats and bumper stickers that are filled with innuendo or even direct smut. Children are learning to read younger and younger every year. A few years ago Mickey Mouse and Tweety Bird likenesses were seen flipping off the cars behind them, giant testicles were seen hanging from truck tow balls, Calvin was seen peeing on every logo imaginable. How are kids supposed to know right from wrong with that example shoved in their faces?

I still have an adventurous side but my morals are strong. I think about how my actions will be seen by the young people around me and edit out behavior that might influence badly or offend. I will always protect children. They are so young and don't have the skills to protect themselves. I respect the elderly. They have had time to develop wisdom through experience and I can learn a lot from them. My private life stays private. I cherish my family. They are dear to me. I hope others look around and turn the clock back to the time when we cared about each other. A time when we were more easily shocked. A time when we were made to use our imaginations and smut wasn't everywhere. I believe smut isn't in the eyes of the beholder and should never leave private spaces.

Yes, I think I am a prude. I must be getting old.

My Inspiring Positive Words!

2009-08-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

Everyone should try to be a little more positive. I look around me every day and see people in a bad mood, people in a rush, people looking at what they don't have instead of appreciating what they do have. I fight my own battles to be thankful to Him for everything. Some days it is hard to remember and focus on the good but I try.

We often see inspiration in the strangest places. I may hear a phrase or see a word that will change my mood and inspire me to do more, see things in a new perspective, focus, join the right path etc.

Today I am writing a list of words that feel positive to me today. I will from time to time read the list again. I may add a word or even take one away but I plan to keep adding as I find a word or phrase that inspires the positive in me! Maybe my list will inspire you to be positive too.

Love
Freedom
Choice
Truth
Beauty
Laughter
Delicious
Funny
Smart
Family

That is today's list. Be sure to check back a different day to see what I have added or removed, lol. I'm like that. I reserve the right to change my mind!

Whining to myself!

2009-08-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

I have done this poorly. There are 8 entries in draft form. I get an idea and write it down. Then I take the idea and give it some good thought. Then I start writing. I usually write the entire entry walk away and re-read it later. Then I make any revisions and post. Right now the eight are in different stages and so much time has past for some it might just be better to restart. Yet here I am whining about my own blogging habits, lol. I guess whining about myself is better than reading someone else whining about my blogging habits. But how would anyone know unless I spill the beans like this... Okay forget I said anything and pretend you didn't read the dates on the last posts. That way I won't look so neglectful. I'm not really neglectful just not too focused. I'll work on that. I'll get going then so I can work on one or more of the 8!

Words are cool...

2009-07-23T00:23:00.001-07:00

Words are cool but communication is a different story all together. I listen to people talking and sometimes wonder if they hear what they are saying. Would they speak that way if they could see how others heard them? For instance the young parents cursing through sentences then laughing when their little ones use the same language. Cussing kindergartners are frowned upon by other parents and teachers. Or those folks who try to use a vocabulary beyond their knowledge base. I'd be embarrassed to improperly use words but I guess if they don't know how wrong they are they wouldn't be embarrassed. Or the folks who use semantics to argue a point when in essence they are saying the same thing using different words. They lose credibility with me when arguing the same point.

Here is an example:

Once a customer called regarding an accounting error. He asked about a payment and I checked the computer program because I actually remembered the transaction and figured the exact information should have been posted where it was supposed to be posted.
Silly me. It wasn't.
When I couldn’t find it I commented, “That’s funny.”

The next day we received a multi-paragraph rant via fax (pre e-mail days, for you internet children) from said customer about how my response was totally inappropriate. Huh?
He continued to rail on me for commenting that it was “Hilarious” that a payment had not been posted.

Idiot. I meant funny-odd, moron, not funny-haha!

Why does this simple example of semantics still bother me? Who knows. What I do know is that I still seem to come across the Semantically Stifled much too often!

I have noticed more than ever we are communicating less and less effectively. I think most of us including me believe we have good communications skills. We are wrong though. We don't listen to ourselves speak enough. If we did we would notice how truly ineffectively we do communicate. We have become a slang and shorthand society. We are emailing, chatting and texting on a regular basis which means we are losing the skills it really takes to communicate well. I am as guilty as everyone else to a certain extent.

English is a difficult language to learn. When you incorporate slang and idioms you really have a mess on your hands! I get so frustrated by people who don’t understand what I’m talking about because they don’t know the true meaning of the words in their own language. I admit, I have been known to use words incorrectly, but not very often.

Part of the problem may be that some of us, me included, sometimes use our own lingo and expect others to understand us. Like to add –ish and –age to the end of words.

“Sure, I’ll be there around noon-ish.” Or “I SAID COME IN HERE AND PICK UP YOUR CRAP-AGE BEFORE I THROW IT AWAY!”

Unfortunately, it can be confusing to some. I have a fairly new friend from Peru. I am constantly explaining slang or rewording to exclude slang.

The use of some of the abbreviations drive me nuts. Like how did "I'll see you later" morphed into "Later on" which morphed into "Late"? What's next?

I'm okay with universal text/computer shorthand like "LOL" for "laugh out loud", "BRB" for "be right back" Or "IDK" for "I don't know" because some people just can't type and some of the phone keyboards are very tiny.

Communication is an art. I'm all for improving the arts. We have all nearly lost the art of conversation. We are usually in such a rush we don't take time to just talk. We have become an informational society. I mean when we talk it is usually to find out or give information. For instance: When is dinner?, When do you work next? Where are my keys? When will you be here? etc. The questions are usually asked and answered in as few words as possible. For example: 5 o'clock. Tomorrow. On the dresser. Later. I say we should try to communicate better. Maybe using whole sentences like: Dinner will be ready at 5. I work tomorrow morning. Your keys are on the dresser. I'll be home when the game is over, around 4.

Be proactive in this whole communication thing. Maybe step away from the keyboard more often or dialing the phone instead of texting or maybe walking or driving over to visit people more often. I'll be doing my part.

Other Emails

2009-07-22T19:54:00.000-07:00

We have established that I am not fond of serial emails. If you send me one please cut and paste and pull off the "please send this on" crap.

I hate spam too. I have a email address for junk mail. All the places and sites that ask for my email address get that one and once a month I unsubscribe as many as I can and delete the rest.

The emails that kill me are the ones begging for a prayer for a missing child. Although I don't consider them serial I have a hard time forwarding them when we have no way of knowing if the child was found or when the email started or even when it originated. I put them in a file so I can look at them when I know I will be going further away than the store or church. I got one about three years ago and got the exact same one again about 5 months ago. I know it is the same one because the photo is in the file. My heart goes out to the parents who have the missing child and I always pray for their safe return but unless there are dates and a website link for follow up I never send them on either. I take a long look at the child and try to remember their face as I go out over the next few days. It may sound cold but at least the mini posters on the wall at WalMart post found on them when the child is located.

My favorite emails are the personal notes. The ones that keep us in touch. I love when they hold a photo and I don't even mind if they are sent to multiple people because I know they are other people my friends or family love.

I also love the yearly getting to know you quizzes. The ones with several random questions that are answered by the sender then ask you to answer and send them back. I usually get one or two a year and they give me a glimpse of what my friends were doing when they filled it out. How else do I stay in touch with people who are as busy as I am and far away. I have friends all over the country and and even a few out of the country too. If you get those from me take a moment to write back. Even if you don't want to fill it out. But remember to cut and paste and not to forward them.

Emails are a wonderful way to let people know you love them, are thinking of them and care about them. They are cheaper than US mail and don't require the sender to know where they put the envelopes. I love getting cards and letters in the mail but I get how much faster, easier and cheaper it is to jot down an email and send it.

For some keeping in touch is more along the lines of blogging or social networking. Some of my friends just found out I have a social networking page. I have had it for nearly three years but have only used it to view some photos. Most of my friends have no idea I have a blog. Make that three blogs. (Updated 7/8/11 I am a social network addict. I love staying in touch in a way that does not require I check my email every day. I love that my friends can just randomly post a thought or send a direct message just because they feel like it and I love that I can see their photos without having to upload them! Life with social networking rocks!)

Serial Emails

2009-07-12T08:44:00.001-07:00

I despise serial emails. You know the kind nearly everyone dreads getting. They have some cheesy saying or group of sayings, cute photos, prayer chains, etc and at the end say things like send this to everyone you love, or everyone in your address book or 10 people etc within however many minutes, hours, days. They usually promise something will happen (it never does), love, luck (either good or bad) or something else equally unattainable through an email. How can sending an email bring anything like that?

I look at the address lists linked to each forwarded email and wonder how many people have sold those lists to spammers. Why don't people keep addresses private, Just a quick by cut and paste then sending BCC can save a lot of grief. Nobody in my address book will ever have to worry about me passing on their address to be copied and sold to spammers.

These emails sometimes challenge our values like "If you love God you will pass this on to everyone in your address book." My relationship with God is between He and I and He knows how I feel. I say my prayers but they are my own prayers. I don't see how sending the prayers of someone else makes me any closer to the Lord. My true friends know I have a personal relationship with God so I shouldn't have to prove it by sending emails saying I do.

Exactly how does me sending an email support service men and women? I find sending an email as significant as putting on a bumper sticker where none of the purchase proceeds go to the troops or their families. I am guilty of doing a little cut and paste of some of the more beautiful poems and photos to pass to people who have family in the service. Not as a challenge for them to send on to others. Simply because they are beautiful. My support for the troops comes with prayer and volunteer work and not is some empty gesture.

My least favorite serial emails are the ones that claim they are showing how much I am loved when I get the email that is sent to me and everyone else in the address book of the sender. I know I am loved. I don't need to have a poem or photo to remind me. Every once in a while I remind the people in my address book they are loved by sending a note. They are written individually to each person. They carry sentiments and information to each addressee. If I send a photo it is one I have taken or one I chose because it reminds me of my friend.

I love my friends enough to not waste their time or share their addresses. If it is something interesting to look at or funny or beautiful I may pass it on but I cut out the part that requests the recipient to send it on to everyone else. I send it only to the one or two friends or family it relates to. If my friends like it they will pass it on to those who will appreciate it without a prompt, challenge or promise of reward. Who needs that kind of pressure anyway?

More Mirror

2009-07-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

The last mirror entry was about looks this one is about looking to the future.

For most of this year I have been taking care of Mom. She has a huge fear of having to live in a home like Dad did. She wants to live at her home and not in a home. She wants to stay at home and be as well as she can be. The problem is she has had years of not living well. Dad got sick and she put her life on hold for him. She took awesome care of him and didn't take even moderate care of herself.

In watching Mom I have decided I need to make some changes. Changes for her and for me.

I started this post some time ago and got side tracked. It is probably two years later and Mom is resistant to change. She likes to complain and isn't willing to change her eating habits, spending habits, exercise habits, or any habit for that matter. She waits till she absolutely has to before going to the doctor which generally makes it harder for them to treat her. She hates surgery and fears it every time she sees a doctor but if they can fix it then fix it. I wish I had the opportunity to see a doctor at will.

So I'm looking in the mirror today and I like what I see better than I have in the last decade. I've made positive changes for myself and plan to stick to them. No wallowing or complaining for me! I hope most of the problems Mom has are from lack of care and not hereditary.

Old Lady in the Mirror

2009-07-08T08:31:00.001-07:00

Mom never looks in the mirror. She says she has no idea when it happened but when she looks in the mirror there is an old lady she does not know looking back at her. She says she doesn't see herself in that way, I didn't understand then or now even. She was about forty when she got ill and her hair went gray. Through the years since then her hair has darkened while the lines on her face have deepened. To me theses are signs that she has progressed from mother, to grandmother and even great grandmother.

When I look in the mirror I see myself. My face has lines, my hair has a hint of gray but I have lived long enough to earn each line & strand of gray hair. I'm not saying I like them and sure I wish there were fewer of both however they are mine. They are a part of me. A part of who I am.

We can't change gravity or time. Some may find they will go to the knife to fix the physical flaws they see while others would have no part of it. Some have no choice but to accept the changes. I for instance have no money for a face lift but I'm not sure I would go under the knife for vanity's sake anyway.

When people look at their reflection often what is seen is deeper than our skin and hair. The problems arise when we don't accept who we are. I think when we look in the mirror it is paramount to be happy with who we are. I know when I am having a hard day I tend to be more critical of the image I see. Depression, stress and anxiety add to the changes that come naturally also making it more difficult to accept these physical changes. My well being depends on the things I have control of and the choices I make. There are things in the world I can't change and I accept that. In short my well being depends on me. When I look in the mirror I want to recognizing the aging image. I want to know who I am beneath the image and be happy with what/who I see.

After writing this I kind of understand where Mom is coming from but when I look at her I am reminded of her mother and how wonderful she was. I know Mom and her mom both earned every line and every wrinkle. For the days, weeks, and months to come Mom and I will work on getting healthier and hopefully that will help her gain a little better perspective of the image in her mirror and learn to love the old lady in the mirror. Maybe one day she will see the beautiful woman everyone else see.

BFF

2009-07-08T00:02:00.000-07:00

My children have great friends. Through the years they have formed friendships that are deep and lasting. Many of their friends have become an extended part of our family. In ten years I imagine my children will still have a bond with many of the friends they have today along with even more friends. I can imagine it because I am friends with people I have know for more than 35 years.

I was flipping through TV channels when I can across Paris Hilton and a show where she is trying to find a new BFF (Best Friend Forever) but why? Webster defines best as "excelling all others" and friends as "one attached to another by affection or esteem." I can't imagine trying to find a best friend through a television show. Not much reality in that reality show!

My daughters would often give each other a hard time about best friends. One would say it is impossible to have more than one best friend while the other said every friend could be a best friend. I tend to disagree with both of them. It is possible to have more than one best friend but I think it would be exhausting if every friend were a best friend.

Best friend relationships take a long time to foster but are worth every moment. The best part is once the relationship is solid the effort isn't as necessary. Trust and history are the key elements in best friends. I guess it is possible to be best friends without history or trust but I predict an epic failure. You can try but is isn't worth the effort!

Best friends are those people you don't have to see every day to understand and they get you as well. They love you and every flaw you have. They may not agree with you and at times they may not even like you but they always love you!

To all of my best friends. I love you and trust you. I am so lucky to have you in my life! Thanks!!

Funny how gratitude works

2009-07-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

One day many years ago my bishop, from church, asked me what I was grateful for. After some thought I told him my pain. He questioned my response and I said every day it reminds me that I survived the electrocution. He understood.

Later at a gathering of friends from church my bishop led us in a game of gratitude bingo. We all got blank bingo cards that we filled in with things we are grateful for. As we went around the room naming one of the things we were grateful for we got to cross off the things that matched the card of someone else. My card was filled with nothing that matched anything of someone else.

A few years after the day we played that game I started getting a *serial email that maybe rang a little similar to this blog entry. I am grateful for my bills because they are proof I have a place to live etc. It made me feel glad that I am not the only one who is a little weird about what they are grateful for.

We have puppies. Do to some kid allergies it has been a long time since I have had my own dogs. I love dogs. I am grateful for my dogs. I had forgotten how much work was involved in taking care of dogs. It didn't take long before I figured out it is worth every moment of work for the joy and companionship the puppies bring.

My least favorite dog related job is scooping poop. For me scooping poop is like washing dishes, doing laundry, or vacuuming the job never ends. Not only is scooping poop never done there is the smell, the texture of the fresh ones, the flies it attracts and the occasional "oops I didn't see that one" that make this job the worst of my daily chores.

Like my other daily chores I find gratitude in doing this job. As I do dishes I am grateful I have food to eat. When I do laundry I am grateful I have clothes to wear and the ability to do things to make them dirty. While I vacuum I am grateful for friends and loved ones who track in dirt and kids who will often help with that chore as well. I am grateful to scoop poop twice a day because I have three little dogs who give me great joy every day.

I recently had a conversation with my sister. The subject of pets came up and she complained that her girls have three dogs and they don't pick up the poop. I do that particular chore nearly every morning and again in the evening. Because some days get busier than others days it may be cut down to only once in a day. However it always gets done because there are three of them and they poop a lot!

My sister and three of her girls live in Australia. I don't think any of them will move back to the states any time soon and being so far away I miss them. I miss out on them as well. It has been years since we have seen each other and so it has been a long time since we have had a chance to hang out and make fresh memories. Every once in a while I will be doing something that reminds me of something we did together and they will pop into my head. Not nearly as often as it would if we saw each other more often.

Luckily every day as I am scooping up poop I have the added bonus of being reminded of the conversation with my sister and the nieces who like me hate to pick up poop. Funny how gratitude works.

*Serial email - the type of email you get over and over every few days because everyone seems to think it is so awesome they send it to everyone who send it to everyone and so on.

The Mountains Saved Me

2009-07-03T23:28:00.000-07:00

Recently my cousin came to visit. We were all headed out for a late summer dinner when she commented on how beautiful the local mountains are when you can see them through the haze. We all agreed and rattled off other ranges we all like as well.

I told her the local mountains have a special place in my heart. She asked why and I said they had saved me. She asked what I meant and I told her I'd tell her the kind of long story some day. That made her ask all the more fervently. I finally caved and told her a brief version of the story of my beautiful local mountains. Here is a bit more of the story.

My ex and I broke up shortly after my second son was born. We were in a tough place at the time. We had been house sitting when he split. A few weeks later I lost the house sitting and was temporarily living with his sister. Her daughter was watching the boys for me while I worked. One day my ex came by and took our sons while I was at work. My ex was an addict. I got my sons back but was suddenly homeless with no sitter. Not only that I had no car either. I ended up trading with a friend for a cheap car. We spent our nights sleeping here and there with friends. I even parked in the driveways of people I knew after I was sure they were in for the night and would leave early in the morning. I took my kids to work with me and did what I could to get by.

The problem with living like that is it is near impossible to save money. Every meal was eaten out or convenience type foods, laundry done in laundromats, using tons of gas and bandaging my rust bucket of a car together every few days, buying diapers and taking care of the daily needs of my sons made saving money a daunting task. I was constantly in fear someone would discover my situation and turn us in to the authorities. I was certain the authorities would take my kids away if they only knew.

I was sure my friends would eventually burn out. I felt like we were taking advantage of them. We hit a pretty good groove for weekends. I had a friend whose parents went out of town every weekend on Friday and came back Sunday night. (They were building a business about two hours north of their home.) My friend loved my need for domesticity that set in after being homeless for so long. Finally I had a place to do laundry, make home cooked meals and wash dishes. I felt like it was a good trade. I'd cook and clean while we were there. After not being able to do daily chores for so long they became simple pleasures.

Weekdays were a different story. One day on my day off I was looking for a new place to park. I began to get a little discouraged and decided to take my boys up the canyon to play in the creek. We stayed until dusk because I didn't feel safe parking alone in the canyon. As I drove down the canyon we noticed what looked like a couple of fire pits to the left of the road. I looked for a place to pull off to get a closer look and found a parking lot near a wash. There were about 10 cars and trucks parked with people camping out in the wash. We got out to look at the fire and one family invited the boys and I to sit near their fire. We joined them roasting hot dogs & marshmallows and listened as a guy nearby played his guitar. We ended up pulling out our sleeping bags and spending the night in the back of my car (the back seat folded flat.)

I got up the next morning and drove to work. It seemed natural to drive back up the canyon after work and join our new friends for the evening. I stopped at the store on the way up for a few staples. We shared our food and another fire that night and again curled up in the back of my car to sleep. This pattern of my friends house on the weekend and the canyon during the week gave me a sense of home that I hadn't felt in months.

In just a few days my kids were loved by our new found friends in the canyon. I discovered we were not the only homeless ones. There were about four other families that were living full time in the canyon. One family stayed there day and night while dad went to look for work and did day jobs. We all shared this secret that we worried outsiders would figure out, judge us and turn us in. It wasn't like a tent city you'd see in the news today. It was clean. It felt very innocent. Families would come and go often with a few of us there every night. We were just camping until we had something more permanent. On the weekend we had a soft bed, a warm shower and home cooking. Since we were camping I didn't fear someone would take my boys away.

In time our situation changed but for a few months the mountains were our safe haven. The place we went when nobody else had a place for us. The place with friends who for a time welcomed us in and felt like family. The place where we knew we could be ourselves and enjoy nature. A beautiful place that smelled woodsy and clean even in the middle of the dirt. A place of discovery with bugs, lizards, frogs, birds and an occasional snake. Somewhere cool in the evenings and warm in the day. The beautiful mountains that for a while saved me and my boys.

Favorite love stories

2009-06-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

Strangely enough one of my favorite love stories is my grandfather (on my fathers side.) As a youth man he fell in love with a local girl. He lived in a very small town with few opportunities. At that time the oldest son was afforded whatever the family had. They inherited and were often the only ones educated. This was the case for my grandfather's family and as the second son there was no money left to get an education after his brother went to school to become a teacher. Nor was their land to tend when the oldest son decided teaching was not for him and returned home to tend the family's land.

My grandfather couldn't make a living in his little hometown. He had no choice but to move away. The girl he loved however would not leave her mother. My grandfather made his way south and eventually landed in California where he was urged to marry an eligible woman of his faith by his clergyman. She also eventually they married another. They both had children of their own and raised their families.

After my grandmother died my grandfather decided he was going to live with us. Our family found a tri-level home with a kitchenette, bathroom, bedroom and living area of the bottom floor. Before the big move my grandfather decided to go on a fishing trip where he could visit with his remaining siblings and friends he grew up with. While gone he ran into his childhood flame. She had divorced. They soon discovered their love had never dimmed. They married and lived happily ever after. (Note: I was young and didn't hear the truth of the story until years later. So when they married and even after she died I didn't like her much.)

My brother and his wife are also a favorite love story of mine. When my mom remarried, she and her new husband went with his best friends on weekend trips and vacations together. They always had a good time and they always invited my brother and while their friends invited their daughter. When my brother went with them their daughter didn't and their daughter went when he didn't. After about 6 years they finally really met and that was all it took. They both say if they had met earlier they would probably not have even looked at each other that way. The time it took for them to meet was just enough time for them both to mature and be ready for the kind of commitment needed in a relationship. Funny how things turn out.

I love a good love story.

What happened to committed relationships?

2009-06-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

Whatever happened to committed relationships? The kind of people who marry with the goal of living a lifetime together. When my son met his wife he told me he met the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I asked him why he thought he would like to spend the rest of his life with this particular girl and he said,"She will be even more beautiful when she is old and wrinkled."

These days relationships have become more of a casual exchange and no big deal. It seems that commitment has become a thing of the past. I wish we could go back to a more innocent time. I time when people took the idea of finding someone to spend their life with worth doing.

There are groups of people who believe a marriage should always begin with a courtship. They say a courtship should not involve an exchange of physical contact except for holding hands as a way of staying pure. While others believe an exchange of kisses is okay in a courtship as long as time together is chaperoned. I can understand the keeping pure part. Some say exchanging more than that will cause you to losing a piece of yourself. I don't necessarily agree.

If when you love someone you give a little of your self away. Then it is more like an exchange. You give a little and they give a little. In return you both have an opportunity to grow. There is no loss, simply a little exchange.

It may be possible to give too much of yourself away. To dive in so deep you don't take as much as you give. In that case there could be a loss. That kind of loss happens when one of two scenarios occur. Either when a couple are too new and go too far to fast or when a couple has committed and one side quits giving and the other compensates to try to maintain balance. It is a sad state of affairs when that happens.

I am never certain how people can invest years in a relationship and walk away without thinking about it. What ever happened to "for better or worse?"

Family is Family

2009-06-16T17:21:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that before we are born we know where we are headed. If that is true I wonder if we get a chance to pick the family we want or is it a random thing? I'm guessing you don't get to choose. My family is a little quirky some I don't like to claim but wonderful for the most part.

The common thread with humans is everyone has a family. We all start with a mom and dad. Who for some parents may only last moments but we all have a parental unit. It may be that our parents are adoptive, foster, grandparents or other guardians. A parental unit being our mother and father figure. It may even be that our mother and father figure are the same person but it still works out that we have a guide throughout the beginning of our lives. I had a great mom and a great step dad. He came later but he was a good one.

Some of us have siblings. I have five brothers and two sisters I claim as mine. I grew up with a little brother and an older sister. At 19 I gained a second older sister. She claims she picked us. A couple of years later I met my little brother and then next and then the next. All three little brothers came with the same biological father and a step mom. My oldest brother and I met when I was 27 only this one was from my mom and different father. All five brothers bring me great joy. My sisters can really be a challenge but they are keepers for sure. Maybe it's a girl thing for me.

Our extended family always felt close. When I was a kid my mom's family got together at least once a year. Usually our visits were in the summer or during school holiday breaks. Mom's brothers both lived in Utah and her parents were about half way. We'd make our way to see one or some and spend a week or more each time. We always had a blast doing it. Seeing them even once a year made me feel connected. My father's family (for my first 8 years) lived only a few minutes away and we saw them often. Once my grandmother died my uncle went into an assisted living home (he had down syndrome) and my grandfather got remarried and moved away. I didn't see any of them much once they moved.

As my family aged and began our own families we didn't get together with the cousins as much. We had reunions and would make an effort to see each other when we could but it can be years between visits. We keep in contact through our parents and by cards or phone. Once we hit adulthood we all got so busy there just wasn't as much time. The sense of family we shared has been one through distance but never faded even when our contact with each other lessened.

My siblings were scattering and starting their own lives and families. We manage to get together for holidays and birthdays whenever we could. The dynamics of my family with 4 of my 5 brothers having different one different parent, the one sister who has kept distant and one sister who was an addition with my step dad made getting us all in the same room at the same time a rarity. A rarity that has to date never occurred. Usually one or more of us is always missing. At my son's wedding we had all 5 boys in the same room. That was awesome. I keep hoping that we will one day all make it happen but it does not seem likely. Our children are forming the same kinds of bonds we had with our cousins. Their proximity makes it a little easier for most of them to get together. There is 1 out of state and 3 out of country which make visiting a little tougher.

I have witnessed people without living family or whose family is far away or whose family is so dysfunctional they chose to join other family groups. They either adopt the families of others or establish a tight knit a group of friends or co-workers they bond with. For a while my family was a part of an extended family unit of friends. My ex and I moved to Utah in 1986 we bonded with his cousins and my aunt & uncle. When we moved to Oklahoma in 1992, we bonded with old friends who had moved to Oklahoma as well. We did holidays, birthdays and special occasions together. It was great.

I understand how hard it is to keep close when you live far away. Thank goodness for the internet. We are so lucky today with a few keystrokes we can stay in touch with an exchange of words and photos. After finishing school in Oklahoma I found myself drawn back to my family in California. I wanted my children to know their grandparents before their grandparents were gone. I wanted my kids to know my brothers and sisters. I wanted them to know their cousins. We were successful but both my step dad and biological father passed since we returned but not before my kids got to know them. They hang out with cousins and have fun doing it.

Since returning to California I have made the effort to take my kids to see their father's parents and siblings. I never was able to connect with his siblings and his parents have made no effort to make a connection. The visits ended up being uncomfortable for my kids. They felt unwelcome. Their grandmother spent most of the time talking about how great her other grandchildren are and how spoiled they have become. I can't figure out why his family make no effort to get to know their own family. This feeling has been magnified since becoming a grandmother myself. They live about an hour away and never invite the kids to come over for holidays or birthdays. They don't even call for birthdays or holidays. I'm not sure if it is because my ex is an ex or if they are just so dysfunctional on their own. The only thing I do know is that they are missing out. My children would only enhance their lives.

The truth is family is family. You can't pick them but you can make the best of the ones you got.

The color of my thumb

2009-06-15T22:45:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid I had a green thumb. I could make anything grow. I had no knowledge or training but seemed to instinctively know when & how much to water and when & how much to feed. I was able to understand shade, direct and indirect sunlight. As I got older I started raising kids. I couldn't get anything to grow anymore. It was like the kid switch came on and the plants switch flipped off. My thumb went to some odd shade of brown along with every plant I tried to grow. I gave up on plants. Oh people gave me a house plant here and there and I even had a feeble looking herb garden in the kitchen window once but nothing substantial for twenty years.

After moving back to CA I tried growing plants again. Where we moved was an entirely different type of climate. The winters dipped lower than freezing and summers had triple digits for days on end. If I had to blame something I'd blame the climate. It could be me being out of practice too though.

My yard was empty. No trees, bushes, grass or anything. It was a blank slate ready for anything. I decided on putting grass in the front yard first. Nearly every year I broke up soil, fertilized, planted seed and watered. Every year I had birds, a late freeze, early scorcher, or a kid who over watered. I tried unsuccessfully to grow trees managing to kill 9. Until my son's dog ate them I was had a pretty good start on tomatoes and berries. I was hopeful but the dog stayed about a year. He even ate the tomato cages so while he was with us I gave up on growing anything. When he left I decided to put rock in the front yard. I went with large, 6 to 10 inch, smooth rock. I loved the rock but ended up with weeds like crazy after that.

My philosophy on plants changed since I was young I loved everything green and flowering was an extra bonus. In my twenties I developed allergies and discovered how much work went into keeping a yard looking nice. I loved mowing but weeding and trimming was never fun for me. Now my philosophy on plants is plants need to have a purpose. Grass is pretty but not necessary trees are nice if they bear fruit or belong to someone else. I have the same theory on plants and bushes too. If they are mine they better have the secondary benefit of something edible. Watering plants takes time and money. I find it kind of pointless unless there is a payback. The exceptions are keeping tree roots down and keeping the grass green. Remember I had a rock covered front yard I loved. Today I'd say AstroTurf with padding would be awesome or maybe a jungle of fruit and veggies.

Weeds never have invaded any garden I've had. I hear people either complain or saying how they become close to nature while working the weeds out of the garden. For some there is the therapeutic value to gardening I guess it's kind of calming. Not so much a calming or therapeutic thing for me. In California it seems like every year we are in a drought but I'll water for a purpose. If I put in time watering and weeding I like the exchange of fruit or veggies.

House plant are nice. When I was a teen and into my twenties I had tons of them. I had cactus, spider plants, vines, herb, violets and anything anyone gave me. It was a time of terrariums. Then I starting raising my kids and began unintentionally killing off the indoor plants. Houseplants tend to outgrow their pots and require regular watering. I replaced them with the easy to hose the dust off maintenance of silk houseplants. While I lived in Oklahoma I had some success with a few houseplants people gave me here and one there. When I moved back to California it seemed I was doomed to kill them off again. I am caring for three right now that are not dead but not thriving either.

I recently got brave and planted a few veggies and fruits. The plants are really growing like crazy but the veggies appear for a little bit then they just wither and fall off. We did harvest one zucchini and two tomatoes so far. There are a few dozen tomatoes and a couple of bell peppers too. For some plants it is too early but the others are just stinkers. My thumb appears to be more green than brown now but I'm working on it.

We have several pretty green tomatoes

a couple of tiny bell peppers

and far only one really big zucchini

but one day we will have cucumbers and melons too.

Gardens are beautiful. Mine is small and among the wilted leaves it has it's beauty too. I do love the lush green, the bright white and yellow flowers and the yummy fresh produce on the table.

Is love possible

2009-06-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

Is it possible to love someone you haven't met yet? If you hear and see enough about someone anything is possible. Do I mean a deep passionate lasting kind of love? No but it's a start and in time, with work who knows.

Is it possible to love someone if they don't know it? I have said you can love someone you haven't met so sure you can have a one sided love. When you are around someone enough to get to really get to know them it is possible to fall in love. The trick is to not let things get out of hand. Friendship is usually the first step to falling in love.

Is it possible to love someone if they don't feel the same way? Love is a two way street. It is possible but if it is not reciprocated it is unhealthy and can be a problem. It takes two. If you find yourself in love that is not returned move on. If you are on the receiving end don't be cruel by taking advantage of the situation. Make sure to make your intentions very clear and be merciful.

Is it possible to love someone if you have never kissed or held hands before? Absolutely. Love based on friendship starts in a way that is more natural. It develops slowly into real love that allows for feelings to grow long before a hand is held or a kiss is shared. Getting physical too soon will sometimes stop real love before it has a chance to develop.

Is it possible to love someone if you have only been best friends? The best loves develop this way. Best friends really know each other and finding that bond in a relationship is a great gift. Being best friends does not mean love will kindle it only means it is possible.

Is it possible to live your life without ever knowing love? Yes but I don't recommend it.

One Became Two & Two Became Three

2009-06-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl we had a dog named Lady. We loved Lady. She was a best friend to all of us. Lady was very smart. She was a guard dog and a playmate.She was a good sport letting us play dress up and dance with her too. My favorite was her version of hide and go seek. She was a cheater with her keen sense of smell she could find us in a second or two and with her size she could hide anywhere.

Fast forward to about two years ago. I have five brothers. The one I grew up with (long story) got two puppies. They got two because the girls didn't seem to want to be separated and were both so cute it was too hard to chose just one. They looked a lot like our Lady did. When he showed me his new dogs I asked if he had planned to breed them. He said they were thinking about it. Some experts say female dogs will have a better temperament if she has been bred. I took dibs then and there.

This is Maggie
& Mandie

They decided to breed and at the time promised one to Mom, one to her mom, one to her brother and one to me. They purchased a male because the cost of the male was half of the fee to breed the girls twice. They got Buddy.

I was so excited to get a puppy like the one I had as a kid but I wasn't sure how that would work after coming to care for my mom.

Both dogs became pregnant not long af ter having become Mom's caregiver. They were only about six weeks apart. This was an exciting time. I decided it would be a good thing because my puppy and Mom's puppy would have each other to play with. After all dogs are pack animals and tend do better in groups anyway. So my one dog became our two dogs.
The first litter came for Thanksgiving. There was one girl and three boys. Mom wanted a girl.

The girl was a shaded blond with a fairly good disposition. Mom named her Lucy after her mother but kept calling her Lady. Now she is officially Lady Lucy.

I chose the red. He was loving and calm. The kids named him Jasper. We got to bring them home around the first of the year shortly after the second litter arrived. In that litter there were two white and three black. They looked like a double stuff Oreo cookie.
Well sort of anyway.

Until they had their shots they were confined to the house. We put a 4x4 pen in the living room but during the day when people could watch them they were let out to have the run of the house most of the day. They have a variety of toys and love a good rawhide bone. They would "bury" their toys and rawhide bones under furniture.

One day in February I had some time to kill when I was picking my son up for work. I went to see the puppies that were days away from going to their new homes. I had seen them the day they were born but hadn't seen them since. They were so cute. One particular black one crawled up into my lap and cuddled. She was so little and so sweet. I told my brother I wanted her. He said if I was serious I could have her but to make sure Mom was okay with a third dog. At that point at home we had her dog and my dog so bringing in the third dog was a good thing and they all became our dogs.

Once all three were given their parvo shots they were able to begin going out some. They learned how leashes worked. They get too excited and still get tangled up too easily to really go with one person. I always wondered how the dog walkers do it.

Now that they have had their rabies shots we pulled the back yard together. The jungle is now cleared and there is a portion fenced off for the turtle.

There is a dog door so they can come in and out when they want. Ironically ever since then they have had access to the yard there has been drizzle and rain and they stay in the kitchen. We have gated them into into the kitchen at this point. I'm sure once they are a little older we will give them full access to the house. Right now they tend to chew cords... phone charger cords, computer cords, game cords, light cords... any cords they can find. They have occasional accidents so until they catch on they need to be contained in the kitchen and yard.

Lady is beautiful. Her coat is a rich looking dark blond with shaded swirls through her back and tail. She has a regal look about her. She wants attention all the time and is a bit of a whiny girl. She is less likely to go run around outside and prefers to lay around more than the other two.

Jasper is our protector. He barks at not just new people but all the new unfamiliar or unexpected sounds or shadows. His coat is a deep red and so very soft. He holds his rawhide with both paws like a baby would hold a bottle and it is comical to watch. He is still the calm one.

Huni Bear is the alpha dog. From moment one she wanted those big dogs to know she was in charge. Her coat is soft black with reddish tan markings. She is the one who is most accepting of visitors. She is a little hyperactive and easily distracted. She growls like a bear but is sweet like honey.

My brothers two became three and our one became our two and finally our three.

They are never apart for long.

They have grown into their true colors and still love to hang out together. They sleep together, eat together and get into things together.

The home front

2009-06-08T18:18:00.000-07:00

I have become the primary caregiver for Mom. She is not an invalid but she has enough health problems that she requires help and lots of it. Getting older is hard. Things begin to sag and wrinkle, the memory fades, tasks that were once easy suddenly and inexplicably become difficult or in some cases impossible. When my dad got older and needed help he would get so frustrated and now mom is in the same boat. She hates to even admit she needs help of any kind but usually accepts the help and eventually shows her gratitude.

The house I live in is very small and filled with five people. We all pitch in taking care of Mom/Gramie since we all work different shifts. It is crowded yes but in my case not a bad thing because I love these people. The noise level can be pretty high here. Until recently the ability to be alone for any length of time was near impossible.

Soon after moving here we got a puppy. Well kind of two puppies. One for me and one for Mom. She has a hard enough time taking care of herself so most of the puppy care landed on me and the kids. Six weeks later we fell in love with a puppy from the second litter that just happened to be homeless. They were confined to the house until they got their shots and the yard was dog ready.

These days it seems I am always cooking and cleaning when I am not at work outside the house. Everyone pitches in some and we manage pretty well. My daughter can cook and she shares the cooking, everyone does laundry and helps out where they can. We are getting good at it.

The yards have been neglected. Mom had this gardener who did not speak English and barely did a thing. He was rarely given access to the back yard because he came when Mom had doctor appointments and she would forget to leave the gate unlocked. We had a lot of rain this year and the backyard turned into a jungle. I have trimmed more trees and bushes in the last two months than I have in the last ten years. I am beginning to see why my brother is known by some as a tree hater. The tree hater came by and with his son and with the assistance of me and my son we got the yard dog ready. Yeah!

With the front and back yards in order our living area has increased by three. The front porch is a relaxing place to spend the cool morning or evening hours. The porch is too small for more than one or two but we have fit four before. I find the solitude on the front porch in the morning nice. The backyard is less relaxing but more enjoyable with the puppies, the turtle and the million bugs and birds that keep us company. There are little shady spots nearly all day that act as an extension of living space as well when it isn't raining that is.

The home front is still home. The space and duties may have changed but home is still home.

Someone recently asked if I believe in love...

2009-06-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

Someone recently asked if I believe in love. I do. I think everyone should have the chance to experience love at least once in a lifetime. I strongly recommend falling in love at least once.

To really fall in love is an experience equaled by no other. The act is an investment and takes work to develop, nurture and retain. Often times people will put in some time and then just give up. For some people work is a negative thing no matter how wonderful the outcome may be.

I believe the key to loving someone is to understand that there is a distinct difference between being "in love" and loving someone. Being "in love" can be fleeting but loving someone has staying power. The problems arise when people confuse the two.

Being "in love" is generally that giddy feeling in the beginning of a relationship. I've heard it referred to the honeymoon phase or the dating phase. Couples are putting their best foot forward. They try harder to be the best they can be. In the early stages of a relationship, pretty much every flaw can be overlooked and possibly not even seen. Kind of the "rose colored glasses" phase in a relationship. For the on looker watching someone ignore what they see as glaring flaws can be difficult to observe. The observer does not have on the "rose colored glasses." Although flaws to the observer are hard to ignore. For the participants this is the time errors in judgment are more often made.

The giddiness of being "in love" is awesome. Better than awesome is when couples stay in a relationship long enough to find the deeper level of love and find they are also still "in love." Those are the best kind of relationships! I describe one of my brothers and his wife as "the newlyweds." They are at 20 years now. They never really left the honeymoon phase and I could not be happier for them. I wish everyone could find deep true love and stay in love...

I have personally witnessed "love at first site." Sadly I haven't seen many of those relationships develop into the deeper love that only time brings. It is possible to get there though. Loving someone is when you want to grow old together. When you can't imagine your life without him or her. When you are willing to make changes to make each other happy. When you consider yourself a part of two.

Love is unconditional. Which means that most annoying things can be tolerated or even become an endearing feature. I think it is okay to overlook flaws as long as they don't bother you and do not harm others.

Love is risky you can get hurt. Love is however worth the risk so take it. Love takes effort. Keep working at it or you will be wasting your time. Love can heal.

Love can uplift. Love can strengthen. Love is powerful. Yes I believe in love.

Movies

2009-05-30T17:02:00.000-07:00

I am a movie goer. I love a well done action/adventure or romantic comedy and enjoy most other genres as well. I have been known to tolerate genres I don't enjoy as much for various reasons. Like when I know my kids wanted to see a movie I wouldn't ordinarily go see or sometimes when the trailers promise to explain why something in an earlier movie (like Jason in Halloween) is the way it is. (Halloween was still a disappointment.) In the past I have been known go watch movies with people just to keep them company and not because the movie was my choice.

I usually go about once a week but in the past have been known to go up to 15 times in a week during the summer blockbuster season. It is easily done when you are a mom who nearly always screens movies her kids would like to see for age and content appropriateness. Not to mention there are 5 of them with a 4 year spread between younger kids and the older kids. So appropriate for some was not always appropriate for all.

For nearly 12 years we lived in the same small town where the theater employees knew us well. We moved about 9 months ago and many employees at the theater we frequent see us as a regular even though we only go about once a week now. Only once a week now because I'm poor (we are in a much more costly area) and my kids are all over 17. They can all get into any movie without my accompanying them. Screening is now a thing of the past. Although if the kids know I have seen the movie they are thinking about going to they will ask my opinion. Movies cost too much these days to waste the money on a so so movie! On occasion I will go to a movie they are watching just so I know what my nearly grown children are watching.

As I go to the theater I wonder why some parents act the way they do. I am amazed at the number of people who don't pay attention to the movie ratings. Especially ratings due to violence, vulgarity and sexually explicit scenes in movies. For instance I love Tyler Perry movies but his subject matter is not geared to young kids. (For years I was the only white girl in the theater but I am happy to say that is not the case any more.) Or the night I went to see Obsessed and there were two young families with three toddlers in strollers positioned so they could watch as well. So not a kid movie. Or the parents who took children that looked like a 7 and 9 year old to Monsters Ball. About half of the people who watched Halloween when I did were under 14.

Kid movies are one of my favorite but also my least favorite to attend. If I can I go mid week during school hours I'm stoked. The mess is bad enough but the crying babies & toddlers and talking is the worst. I wonder why people don't teach their children how to act in public. Normal stuff like being polite and picking up after themselves.

It amazes me when parents lug in several small kids with tons of goodies to eat and don't bother to think of the calories their children are consuming or the mess they will leave behind. The parents never think twice about making big messes and walking away. In essence the kids are learning that it is okay to walk into a public place make a mess and leave it for someone else to pick up. No wonder the school campuses I work at are such pig sties!

Adults can be as bad as the kids and they are old enough to know better. We all pay good money to see a movie and we are subjected to the rude people. For instance the guy who answers his cell phone using his outside voice so he can be heard over the actors and then begins to narrate the movie to whoever called. Or the woman who talks to the stupid people in the thriller/slasher movies who always go upstairs, duh, they always go upstairs. Or the hard of hearing who ask whoever they came with what the actor said. And my least favorite group to sit near is the group of friends who can't quit talking through the movie. Sometimes I just want to yell GET A DVD & GO HOME or THIS IS NOT YOUR LIVING ROOM! That would make me as bad as them though.

I love the escape of a movie. To leave my reality for 90 to 120 minutes or more and enjoy some other scenario for two hours. The ability to be cool on a hot day without paying the cooling bill. Concentrating on the story of someone else, the mystery, the excitement, and the entanglements.

My favorite movies make me think. My favorite movies never insult my intelligence. My favorite movies are not predictable. My favorite movies have a good story. My favorite movies entertain.

Strangely enough I can usually find something good about even the worst movies. If the "critics" give the movies a bad review I know I'll enjoy them. The Academy of Motion Pictures make me crazy. They usually pick the artsy movies that are limited release until they are nominated. The movies are generally good but I rarely agree with them. They generally leave off great ones and choose my least favorite as the winner. No I am a movie goer who is not narrow minded or judgmental.

I could probably do a movie blog. Maybe I'll think about that one...

What's with poodle bushes?

2009-05-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

On Monday My son and I went to Disneyland. It was just the two of us and we had a wonderful time going from ride to ride as the mood hit us. It was a blast getting to see the renovations to rides we had not been on in a couple of years. Rides like Pirates of the Caribbean, the submarine and It's a Small World.

Although not my favorite ride I have fond memories of It's a Small World. It was one of my Gramie's favorite rides. The topiary outside It's a Small World ride make me smile. The well place animals are playful and fun. I remember looking at them when I waited in line with my grandmother many years ago. They were and still are a whimsical extension of the ride. A kind of entertaining view while both entering and leaving the inside portion of the ride.

As I was running several errands lately I noticed a multitude of well groomed bushes and hedges. None of them are topiary but for whatever reason many of them are oddly (although some would say artistically) shaped. I look at them and in some cases see the artistic beauty but mostly I see the loads of work it must take to maintain that well groomed look. Some are kind of nice while others are just kind of weird. They are everywhere. You can't drive down a street anywhere near here and not see one or more "fancy" shaped bushes.
Then I went with my daughter to a store to get her phone fixed and all down the street were trees with similar looking puff balls throughout them. I kind of smiled thinking they looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. On the way back from the store (and after our trip to Disneyland) I saw one bush that was simply a series of puffy balls throughout the bush. It struck me as kind of silly and Dr. Seuss like. It made me giggle. As I got closer to our house I drove past one more house with a puff ball bush and thought it looks like a poodle and really laughed.

I get adding the whimsy of a topiary in a place like Disney and maybe on a huge estate but I'm not much into the idea of a yard full of overly groomed oddly shaped shrubs.I don't get it. Why would you want something that takes that much work and looks so silly? Then I discovered how much people pay to have these bushes maintained. I'm a little too practical to pay that much or spend that kind of time on a poodle looking bush.

Then today it happened. I discovered one more reason not to have these goofy bushes. Again I'm driving along when I see a little fender bender. Really common where I live but the cause this time was too funny. The driver was craning his neck to see one of those bushes and bumped into a parked car. It was equally funny and sad!So the question is what is with all those poodle bushes?

I believe I understand

2009-05-20T00:11:00.001-07:00

I believe I understand why people who's blogs I have followed have gone from occasional writers to daily writers and vice versa as their circumstances have changed.

There are days when I write a ton (not always for the blog though) and other days I'd love to write but there is simply not enough time in the day. There are days when I have time and no available computer.

There are days when I have time and the computer available but never find the incentive to go to the computer to write. I guess writing is like any other thing there are days it just won't happen. Some days Are like that though.

For those of you I may have nagged I am sorry. I believe I understand now.

Ideas never stick these days...

2009-05-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

Blogging is so much fun but there are drawbacks. I think of these great subjects to blog on and then when I find myself with time and an open computer it all leaves. I wish I had a laptop with me all the time. Alas I do not.

For me I have the added bonus of having what I fondly refer to as memory interruption after my electrocution. It was really bad at first but seemed to even out some. Especially after all of the therapies I have been through and following the advice of my doctors to try to regain the strength of my ability to make and keep memories. At least now I remember the names of my children on demand. That part was really disturbing for me but I digress. Sadly I can lose my train of thought mid-sentence. I don't know how much of the memory issues were from the electrocution or from the trauma of the accident itself. I hear memory issues are common for people who have gone through an electrocution but I haven't found any studies. I digress again...

I admit it I am getting older. Like everyone else as we age we have moments where our memory is less than perfect. It seems to me I get more dysnomia (that feeling that the word is on the tip of my tongue) than else anyone I know of my age or close to my age (except Nancy but she has a good excuse too.)

I'm beginning to think I need to carry around a pad all the time like people did before we had computers and blackberries to solve my dilemma. So far I have found a way to blog each week and I will continue to write. I love the idea that someone somewhere might find a minute of enjoyment reading my often disjointed thoughts.

My ideas never stick these days. I understand writer's block but this isn't really writer's block but more of a writer's challenge. I love a good challenge.

Drivers

2009-05-13T00:36:00.000-07:00

There are a ton of drivers where I live.

Since I work in school systems I am afforded the chance to see many teen drivers first hand. The bell rings and tons of little foreign cars come rushing out on to the street. Add the walkers, the teachers, and parents and it becomes close to chaotic. These drivers all seem to be in a race to get out of there including the teachers and parents. Today alone I saw six close misses and too many cut offs to count. I don't see anybody setting a very good example for these young people either. All of the cut offs were parents and other adults. One of the close misses was a teacher.

There does not seem to be any patience in any of these drivers. Neither the adults or the teens. It's not just that they want to leave school because these drivers are seen driving the same way in parking lots and on city streets. They cut through gas stations and parking lots to avoid stop lights. They roll to a pause without making a complete stop at stop signs. They speed up to pass people only to cut them off, slow and turn in front of them. They ride your tail and wait till the last minute to hit the brakes.

Hardly any one uses turn signals any more and those that do tend to leave them on for miles. Speed limits are ignored and it feels like one is putting their life in peril just to run a simple errand.

Then add the high number of aged and nervous drivers in our area and you see the opposite. If others are in the car with them they talk more than drive. They seem to forget where they are going. They make several random stops or pauses and make regular erratic turns. They drive up to 10 miles an hour under the speed limit and never seem to notice the oncoming car when they pull out in front of them.

I can't imagine people taking time out of their busy day to drive the elderly and the elderly never seem to want to give up their independence either. Maybe we should try to help and offer to drive when we can. At a time when childhood obesity is so high maybe the young drivers should be walking anyway. If the driving age were moved to 18 maybe some of these young people would be forced to walk more and maybe to mature a little as well.

Man can I vent or what.

Originally this was published separately but it is really one so I blended them. The driver's blog was not finished. It turned out to be more of a cranky venting kind of blog than I had intended so here is the other half of my thoughts on drivers.

I forgot to mention my favorite drivers. Oh I have favorites.

I love the drivers who slow to leave space to let me change lanes.

I love the drivers that alert me when there is something not right. Like a low tire, burnt out taillight/headlight, something hanging out of the door, my gas cap open, trunk open or any number of other courtesies. It gives me joy to know people are still kind.

I love drivers who make the flow of traffic just a few miles an hour over the speed limit and the drivers who don't turtle down the diamond lane. What is the point of slowing people down in the diamond lane anyway?

I love people who let me out of a parking lot. Especially in heavy traffic hours.

I love people who don't hog two parking spots by parking over or hugging the line.

I love people who drive eco-friendly cars.

I love people who drive big vehicles (trucks/cars/SUVs) who can park in one space and even better if they can park in one try. Better still when the vehicle is full of people.

I love people who pay attention to the drivers around them. Maybe moving forward so I can pull into the turn lane prior to the light changing or leaving space in the lane so people can pull into a driveway or parking lot.

I love people who pull over for emergency vehicles. (What they were headed to someone you love.)

I love people who slow in school zones and parking lots.

I love when people smile at each other when something good happens.

I guess what I'm saying is that for every driver that bugs me there is a driver that makes my day. In a perfect world we would run into both kinds of drivers to balance things out but my world has never been perfect. It seems I am destined to see either the kind ones or the cranky ones all day. Life gives us what it gives us.

The first drivers blog just didn't give the good drivers the kudos they deserve. So please try to be one of the drivers mentioned in the second half of the blog. I love those people!

Me today...

2009-05-02T10:59:00.000-07:00

Recently one of my children was facing a job interview. It was not the first job therefore not the first interview. Still there was a case of nerves as we discussed the possibility of tough questions like describing oneself or strengths and weaknesses. It got me to thinking about how I would describe myself. The more I thought the more challenging the task became. Here is what I came up with.

In my quest I decided to free write and discovered that my descriptions have changed through the years. Every year, monthly, week, day, hour, minute and even every second there is a new opportunity to grow and change. There are challenges to face or decline, loves to find strengthen, lose, remember and embrace and skills to acquire and with luck master. Who I am today is a culmination of all of my life experiences. As I started to free write and hit page seven of my self discovery I decided I am a complex person and needed a condensed version. Finally I decided a summary would be best.

Today I am a mom, grandma, daughter, sister, niece, aunt and friend. These descriptions fit many of the women I have known and I honor them. These words describe my attachments to people I love. I have for much of my life been physically challenged (sometimes short termed and now forever challenged.) For a while I struggled, wallowed if you will, in self pity but now I mentally and physically challenge myself to be the best I can. The challenges are still there but I am becoming more adaptable. As times goes on I am less and less focused on what I can't do and always look for ways I can do things I thought impossible.

Living in pain changes a person but I work every day to find the best in myself and in others. I try to show those I come in contact with the loving and kind person I know I am and to hide the pain so others don't feel the need to try to help carry my burdens. (I have the Lord for that.)

I am a very passionate person with many passions in my life. I am passionate about education. I am an educator. (I have the degree to prove it.) As a mom and friend I have many opportunities to teach and learn as well. Today I continue to learn taking every chance afforded me to broaden my horizons.

I am a passionate movie goer, reader and lover of music. These passions allow so many valuable resources I enjoy including entertainment, escape from the day to day, information and creativity as well. I love the discovery of a new favorite musical artist, actor, director or author. (My kids are often the catalyst for finding both authors and music.)

I am an artist. I love to create as well as enjoy the art of others. Mostly I paint but I enjoy other mediums as well including but mot limited to photography and writing. I love to express myself.

I love going to church and learning about the true love of Christ. Knowing I am a child of God and that I am never alone is a great comfort to me.

I am compassionate as well. I have been accused of being too compassionate. I have taken in strays (homeless people at times entire families and even an occasional animal), feed the hungry and even given gas or at times change to beggars. (I try to avoid giving money since some beggars are professionals.)

So to recap I am a passionate artist and educator with an intense love of family, friends, movies, books and music. Compassionate yet challenged with a strong love of my creator.

I look forward to the next phase of my personal evolution.

Started with over seven pages went to three and ended up with less than one page. Not bad!

So much for once a week!

2009-04-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

You are probably wondering about the once a week thing. I am sharing a computer with three other people with conflicting schedules. It seems someone is online all the time. Especially now that the scheduled have changed to conflict even more and the recent renewal of online gaming for two of the other users. I'll try harder...

Waiting for inspiration…

2009-04-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

This blog has been blank since mid March. I have no idea why I started yet. I still don't think I am ready and here is why. My passions are varied and my interests are even more varied. I have read many blogs and most are more of a journal in nature. I work in the public (with teens) and didn't really want to throw my personal life up on a page for everyone to read. Some blogs are more geared to the writer's occupation. Not really feeling that one either.

I find the idea of a blog intriguing and positive for the most part. I have family and friends with blogs and find them informative and fun. I can see what they are up to, where they have been and where they are headed. With my occupation I am not comfortable enough to throw caution to the wind and do an online journal. I still feel like I want the forum to write about the things that interest me and the things I am passionate about but which of those things I'm not sure about yet.

Finding inspiration comes in many forms and I thought if I had a good design and format maybe I would be inspired. I don't know where to start and the ones they have as examples are just not inspiring or fun for me. So I asked a (very busy) friend of mine (who I love and trust) to help with that. I'm excited to see what happens.

Here's the kicker though. I decided to get going with this and quit waiting for inspiration. I made the goal to write at least once a week or more regardless of if I still lack my inspiration or direction.

So here goes entry one.

Happy Easter!